Pandora (a13xandrazghost) wrote in _letterstoyou_,

maybe i'm all messed up in you...

okay so now everyone tells me to go after "ma boy" "go get your boy"...somehow i cant pry myself away from your side but the way i cling is...not how i want to, just what i'm used to. i can tell you i love you till my face turns blue and it wont do any good because there are still those time periods inbetween when i regret it. i CAN love just SHOULDNT love me.
my friends all try to protect best friend made me promise to never go out with you because you "treat your girlfriends like shit". i agree. i'm not gonna defend you, but i find it funny that i've had feelings for guys like you who do the shit you do and when i found out i walked away and let myself heal. with you its broadcasted and i stay there because its what i know i should do. i love thinking to myself "if he really wants me he's gonna have to work for it" i mean really work for it. first theres my dad, my best friend, my've got work to do if you REALLY want me. i love thinking about how determined you could be all just to be with me...
we had a few conversations since my last letter...long...2:00 in the morning...real conversations.
i know you've never lied to me and that makes me happy even though no one else believes me when i say, your a different person when your with me. you dont pretend. and i know it cause i've known you my entire life...literally.
i've known you that long and we barely know one another...
i have to wait while we turn into best friends...i guess its this plan i have in my head for how its gonna work out. problem is it involves time, and it may not even work...
you once said even if i turn out to be the embodiment of your hatred you'd still love me.
i just hope what you find out in the next few years is what your looking forget what you look for i want to be more than that...its just hard to be good sometimes. i guess we both have our work cut out for us.

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