Josh Darr (eightwm) wrote in _knowyoulive,
Josh Darr

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still clean..4days strong

trying to not do anything.. was in a depressed all day. i'm still asking myself why. why did i let her do that? i can never have it back. i should have stayed with God. i want to die thinking about it. wasn't feeling like talking all day, then at dinner, my parents won't let anyone get food unless they ask for it in spanish, so everyone did. but i didn't. i hate spanish. i hate here. i hate this country. the people here. everything. i wanna go home. i only ate rice and a baked potatoe because i refuse to speak spanish. i don't care if i have to ask for it in spanish. i won't i'll only get what's near me. or starve. no difference. i'm holding back though. 4 days and not a scratch to show any different. pat on back for me. let's hope this lasts. i want out. i want to take back what i let happen. i want to leave....
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