bunny gamer, stand up, bunny gamer (iamthehospital) wrote in _jeffmangum,
bunny gamer, stand up, bunny gamer

transcript of track 8 on "beauty"

Conversation with Will Cullen Hart & Jeff Mangum

J: But we fucked up that remedial English class because we were smoking pot and...

W: Not in college.

J: Right.

W: We can't move on to college, can we?

J: So, like...

W: Now we are not in college, are we?

J: So, how do you move on to that new place to shop if you haven't taken that remedial English class and

you've got all these pieces of the puzzle that won't fit together and your parents are like, eating

blood wafers?

W: Grow sideburns.

J: Sideburns?

W: They really help.

J: Really?

W: yeah. They give you that distinctive look. They do.

J: Like standing out in the crowd.

W: They really do. They really do, and I... That's why I don't think I fit in.

J: Because you don't have any sideburns?

W: I can't grow them.

J: Why not?

W: They just don't look right. I always cut them off.

J: That's terrible.

W: See, the problem is, you can't find the puzzle with the guy watching "The Price Is Right."

J: I wanted the --

W: Eating blood wafers!

J: No, I wanted the puzzle with--

W: See, they have one... They have one with your family! You just haven't been to the right place. You

haven't seen the ones... It makes it easier to put it together when it's your family member's face right

there in front of you in puzzle pieces. It's just that you don't know the fat man, but when it's your

family... You realize what it's all about.

J: No, but see, I bought the puzzle with the round treadmill and the farm and the, uh, the decapitated


W: That's the problem! You have to get the ones with the wafers. And the bloody trousers. And your


J: But I've already got all these puzzle pieces stuck together that, like, are a part of me now, that,

like, I mean, you can't... Once you become part of the puzzle piece, you can't really separate yourself

from it anymore.

W: So that makes you an artist.

J: I know, but I've got to get some more puzzle pieces!

W: You're an artist! You make your own pieces. Use wafer. Use pieces of wafer. Use thumbtacks.

J: But what am I supposed to do with all these weird puzzle pieces that weren't even supposed to be a

part of me in the first place? I mean, I tried to keep my eyes open, I mean I tried to be very aware of

what puzzle I was buying and when I opened the box, I tried to be really aware of, like, the pieces, and

making sure all the pieces were what was on the box. But then I shoved the pieces together and -- It was

too late! It was, like, all these disjointed body figures and stuff, and I tried to convince myself that

it was a flower, but it was not a flower, man. It was not a flower! And --

W: You know why, right?? I'm telling you, I know the answer, and it's this. Do you remember when we were

talking about putting the thumb -- the pushpin, and... and...

J: Yes, and the blood.

W: Right. Doesn't it all make sense now?

J: No!

W: Did you... Did you find... the sideburns? In... in the puzzle?

J: No!

W: They're in the bottom! They're taped to the bottom!

J: I've got these --

W: Can I use them? Can I please staple them on? That is the key.

J: You can do whatever you want. What you don't understand is that... What you don't understand is that

I thought it was a flower but it wasn't, ok? It was part of the rat on the treadmill and it was this

dude's legs watching "The Price Is Right," ok? And it was part of the blender. And I -- I convinced

myself for so long that it was a flower. I mean, I spent years and years convincing myself that these

puzzle pieces added up to a flower, and it wasn't at all. I mean, once I woke up I realized... How do I

trust other pieces? How do I take new pieces and put them together with as much vigor as I once did,

because what if... What if they're not a flower either? What if they're just like...

W: They've gotta be animal pieces. They might be animal pieces. Pieces of goats.

J: Well, that's what I was trying for. There was like a rat and a goat and the whole thing, and the goat

didn't have any hands.

W: And you bought this at Walmart?

J: That's what I wanted, that's all I wanted since I was a kid. Since I was a kid! It just --

W: You've never gotten a puzzle together?

J: No.

W: Ever?

J: Never. They're all these disjointed pieces that I convinced myself to be flowers.

W: You have a serious problem, young man.

J: I know I do, but I don't think I'm much different from anybody else. I'll bet everybody else has got

a bunch of, like, psuedo-flowers in their pockets that really are just pieces of this weird puzzle that

aren't supposed to fit together.

W: No.

J: I mean, I hope I'm not alone in this thing, you know?

W: You are.

J: Well, it sure feels that way, you know, when I go through the newsstands and stuff and read the

magazines and everybody seems to have their flowers so perfectly put together, you know? Because, see,

what they do is, they can take you into a studio and they can take your photograph and make it look like

you've got your pieces puzzled together really well, you know? And they can do anything these days. The

way you package it --

W: It's all computers. They've got their shit together.

J: Right! They can make it look like you've got your flower together, but they really don't. But it

makes the people that don't have their flowers together feel really small and insignificant.

W: You are, but that's what makes all the difference. You're an artist.

J: But I'm not insignificant, because my flower isn't anymore pressed together than anybody else's

flower. I mean, I guess if I had a record company or something, they could take my photo and make it

look like my flower was together and I'd be ok, but I don't want to do that because then all these

people with no flowers pressed together would be coming to me like... treating me like I was somebody

who had my flower put together when I don't, and it would be a big lie. And then I'd be doing Swanson TV

dinner ads when I was fifty and I'd be real smug and commit suicide on the Brooklyn Bridge.

W: There wouldn't be much point in that, would it?

J: No.

W: You're an artist! I've told you a hundred times. You see, what you... The part that you don't

understand... What is there to not understand? It's so hard for me to explain it to you because, see...

I see that you, you're a bit off, actually.

J: I'm very off. I didn't realize how off I was until I pulled my pieces of the puzzle out of my pocket

and saw it for what it really was.

W: Did you try tape?

J: It was stuck together. I wish I could pull them apart! If I could pull them apart, then I'd be ok,

but I can't. They're stuck together.

W: I see.

J: You know, I came home and I showed it to my folks, really proud of my flower, and that's when I


W: You should be in college.

J: I should be in college.

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