May 24th, 2005

xan//smile - korn_peep

A Walk In The Park

Characters: Xander, Faith
Date: Day Three
Setting: Griffin Park, the woods
Rating: PG-13

Funny how sometimes it all just gets too much. Being in the camp, with these people, it just gets to me and I have to leave.

I know it’s not the most sensible thing to do – even taking a walk alone these days is like wearing a “Hey! I’m feeling all suicidal today!” T-shirt. Hell, maybe I am.

No, strike that – I’m not and that worries me.

Wow. Whodda thought the day I wasn’t suicidal was going to be the day I got worried?

The woods around the park are dense enough that I can kid myself I’m somewhere else – somewhere other than here. I allow myself a small smile as I remember the time Willow and I got lost in the woods outside Sunnydale but then I remember exactly why we were lost in the woods and my smile falters. Okay, maybe there aren’t any motorbike riding demons chasing me, and maybe I haven’t just abandoned a spell to resuscitate a dead Slayer but…

Goodbye happy reminiscing, hello depressing memory.

I sigh deeply, not that there’s much to be happy about these days. I can’t shake the feeling that no matter how well we’re doing, we’re just marking time. If the demons wanted us gone we would be. Faster than any of us would probably like to admit, but we’d be gone.

So why do we do it? Why do we keep going? It’s not like any of us have the strength to change anything. Hell even the Slayer in the group isn’t a Slayer any more. Faith tries to keep it from us all, but I can see she’s become a scared little girl again. Whatever the spell to channel the Slayer line did to her, when it was broken it took more than her strength. It took part of her.

I can feel I’m on the verge of understanding it when all of a sudden something comes crashing through the trees behind me. I freeze. Is this it? Is this how I’m going to die?

{{open to Faith}}