• esuety

NO DELETE!

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Bulimic

Dazed_Mia is back

 
A lot has come together over the years. I deleted all of my older posts so I had the chance to start a new.
I graduated High School this past June.  Senior year was hectic but great. I've been feeling really good about myself, seeing quite a few guys =]
I'm about to attend St Francis College. I start school on monday, actuatlly; weak.
Enough about that....
I'm still kinda overweight. I started being comfortable with my body and quit trying to lose weight.
I went to the gyno for a checkup. Found out that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Gross.
It could be due to insulin resistance but in my case it is because I produce too much Estrogen.
I have to be put on the pill in order to level out my hormones and if that does not work I may have to consider taking hormone therapy. Doing so could put me at a great risk for cancer.
This was quite a shock for me and frankly, I'm scared.
A suggestion my OBGYN made was to change my diet and excersize. Apparently his daughter was able to overcome this same problem. The change of diet and excersize will help the cysts shrink faster.
Finding out something like this really hurt the ego I had going. I felt that it was my fault; I let this happen to me.
 
I've made the decision to do somethign about it instead of weep. I have so much ambition now and everything has come full circle. I changed my diet completely, I've been on a good diet and excersizing every day for 28 days now. I do see some results. I count calories like a maniac, I purge occasionally and I spit out my food sometimes. It makes me feel better about the progress.
 
Future entries will be about my progress from this day forward. I have more tests to go for and more excersizing to do. I'm looking for support, so give me all you got!
 
Infinite_Mia

Ew.

I think I broke blood vessels in my boob from purging too hard/much...

Its def not from someone grabbing them, lol.

Has this happened to anyone or is it even plausible?
  • lilsmo

why do i do this?

I've been trying to hold on to you
to never let you go
to keep you in my heart
in my daily thoughts
but you've gone some place that I can't find
I try search the corners of my brain
to find the things that made me loathe you
as the time passes the memories fade more and more
that's the only thing left of you
memories
It makes me wonder if its demented that I want you so much
but the memory I have of you was sickness and disguist
kneeling on a towel crying
vomit strings hanging from my mouth
swirls of blood swimming in my stomach acid and pieces of food
my face glistening with salted water
the sound of a torn person realsing from my body
cuts on my knuckles with a brown and green sign of infection
while my mind wonders what hurts more
being fat, the teeth slices on my hand, the popping in my stomach
the flesh missing from the top of my mouth constantly burning,
the inadequacy, or the heart i never deserved fallening apart
this is the best memory of you
yet I can't let you go

Help

i have only been using lax after i binge. people say it doesn't work as well as throwing up. do u keep weight off better by throwing up? i have tried to but i can't get the things to come up. i feel so bad. i don't want to gain weight!! i'm already sooo huge!! what should i do?
Hight:5"1'
CW: over 200 (lord help me!)
IW: 120 (i may never live to see the day)
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed
Bulimic

Update?

Hey people.


long time no speak.
i would like to get this site back up and running.
Post your tips and advice.
Talk to eachother and make friends!!!

Havnt been ana/mia in a while now.
but i have purged occasionally...not gonna lie.

just checking up on you guys..how are you all?

(no subject)

i also told my parents that i am bulimic.

it didn't go over well.
now i'm seeing a nutritionalist, a psychoanalasyst, and a psychiatrist for antidepressants.

strange happenings.
Bulimic

update

hey girls...
how are you.


its been a while.
i havnt been so devoted to the ana/mia lifestyle.
but recently ive been working out alllottt.

everyday for atleast 2 1/2 hours.
i try my hardest.

i had told my mother that i was mia...she was shocked...
my father was being a total asshole..and told me that i was fat to my face.
ever since then ive been trying my hardest.

...emotionally im shot...but its not gonna get to me!

stay strong!

much love hunnies <3

-Meliss

xposted

This is what I have written thus far on my letter to the editor PLEASE feel free to make suggestions, additions, and comment on it. Don't hesitate to express your thoughts or feelings! and thank you for all your input. P.S. This is only the start and it's pretty long already

My LetterCollapse )