Word Count: 3,670
Rating: NC-17 (Filth)
Warnings: Spoilers for 1x14 "Hell-o." Some hints of het, including a brief moment of het and implications of het to come. If boyspooge makes you queasy, don't read the end.
Summary: Finn tells Puck about his date with Brittany and Santana. "You buy us dinner, we make out in front of you. It's, like, the best deal ever." Puck wants in. Puck wants more. And he's willing to pay.
Authors Note: This is the first thing I've really written in over a year and I never intended for anyone but my love lavidacobra to see it, but she told me to post it. I wrote it when we had no internet and more or less forgot about it until just now... so here it is. A filthy little number inspired by the "Hell-o" episode. Also, for once in my fic-writing life, living in Ohio has come in handy. Ohai-o!
Puck watched Brittany and Santana walk by, fingers linked, hips swaying into each other and smirked. Santana was hot and Brittany, despite being on a mental level with a sponge, was pretty damn fine herself. He shifted the weight of his bag on his shoulders, watching them at their lockers, whispering to each other, lips brushing earlobes and earrings, giggling and fingers brushing over each others shoulders, hips, backs, arms just a little more than friendly. Hot damn... Finn wasn’t lying when he told him there was something up between Britt and Santana. There was definitely more there than Cheerio BFFs going on and he was determined to get something out of knowing that.
He walked over, leaning against Santana’s open locker door. “Hey sexy ladies...” He smirked, crossing his arms across his chest.
Santana cocked her head, eyes narrow. “I’m sorry, did I ask you to interrupt my conversation, Noah?” Her lips curled up a bit as Brittany giggled when she spat out his first name.
“Easy there, Ice Queen... I just came over to ask you something.”
“You have thirty seconds.” She glanced at her cell phone. “Go.” She linked arms with Brittany and leaned against her, both girls looking at him expectantly.
Puck took a deep breath. “You never told me about the dating you and B deal that Finn got. So I’m wondering if just dinner gets making out, what does dinner and dessert get you?”
“Groping.” Santana quipped quickly, after looking over to Brittany for confirmation, smiling as she nodded.
“What would I have to do to watch you fine bitches fuck?” He grinned, making a vague scissoring gesture with his hands, followed by a lewd lick at the air between two spread fingers.
Making a disgusted face, Santana rolled her eyes. “A lot more than dinner and dessert.”
“Yeah,” Brittany said vacantly. “I mean... we have morsels.”
Santana sighed. “Morals, Brittany, morals. Morsels makes it sound like we have something to eat.”
“Oh...” She crossed her eyes a bit, as if thinking really hard then relaxed suddenly, leaning against the smaller brunette. “We have morals.”
“Define a lot more than dinner and dessert, ladies.” He grinned. “It’s pool season coming up and I’ll have a little extra scratch.”
Santana leaned up, whispering in Brittany’s ear, taking both of her hands, fingers intertwined. Brittany’s face lit up and she nodded, grinning ear to ear as her eyes got a distant sparkle to them. Puck had to adjust his pants, watching the girls together, imagining just how they’d look together out of those Cheerio uniforms. Santana stood back, letting go of one of Brittany’s hands. “Shopping spree. Just us, your credit card, and a decent spending limit. AND dinner and dessert.” She stepped closer to him, close enough that a deep enough breath would touch her breasts to his chest, looking into his eyes. “And this doesn’t mean you get to fuck either of us. You’re just watching. Something to keep in the spank bank as long as you remember the details. No pictures, no videos, just you and your hands watching what we do with ours.” She stepped back, taking Britt’s arm. “Let’s go, B.”
Brittany smiled and waved cutely. “Bye Puck!”
Groaning, Puck looked down at his strained pants and dropped the hand carrying his Spanish book over his crotch and took off for the locker room. His spank bank was filling up already and they hadn’t even kissed in front of him yet. This was going to be worth every penny.
A few weeks later, Puck had gotten together enough money to spend on his little investment. He walked over to Santana and Brittany at the Cheerios lunch table. “Dinner at the Rib Cage?”
Santana made a face. “The Rib Cage? Seriously? Not for what you want. Find something better. Look outside of Lima. You’re driving.”
Puck groaned “Fine. We’ll get a hotel room in Columbus, I’ll take you to M at Miranova and we’ll go shopping at Easton before we eat. I’ll drive.”
A grin spread across Santana’s lips slowly, looking over at Brittany who was clapping her hands excitedly. “Deal. Pick us up at my house Friday after school. We’ll be waiting.”
Pumping his fist excitedly in the air, Puck grinned. “Friday afternoon. Ladies...” He bowed, blowing them each a kiss.
He grinned and watched them for the rest of the week. It seemed they were putting on a show just for him. Touching more than ever, dancing together more in glee club. Torturing him. It was killing him and at the same time fueling him, exciting him. He even caught a glimpse, a moment when they thought no one was looking, when Brittany stole a kiss from Santana during a rehearsal. That was almost enough to fill his pants right then and there. He was beginning to wonder just how far things went with them. Were they just teasing or experimenting... or were they lovers? He’d find out this weekend.
He pulled up to the Lopez house at four, walking up to the door, ringing the bell. He smiled when Santana opened the door, Brittany behind her, smiling. “Well, hello.” He glanced over the two, a rare sight out of their Cheerios uniforms. Santana was wearing a white button down shirt with the top buttons open, mustering all the cleavage she could with her small but perky breasts. Her skirt was short, dark denim but just long enough to make Puck want her to bend over so he could see what was underneath. Brittany was in a short dark blue dress that gathered around her breasts, with three buttons leading down the front. Puck glanced up at the sky, briefly contemplating thanking God for the two hot chicks in front of him, but thought better of it, instead offering to take their one shared bag and leading them to the car. A glance over his shoulder showed Puck that they were linked at the arm, Santana’s head on taller Brittany’s shoulder, whispering something that had Brittany giggling wickedly and looking at Puck’s ass. He smirked, thinking to himself hat this would be the best night he’d ever had.
The drive to Columbus was long, nearly two hours of Santana and Brittany commandeering his radio to listen to shitty pop music and talk about everything wrong with every boy at their school--including him. He was ready to turn the car around when Brittany clapped excitedly. “There’s Nordstrom!” Puck wasn’t sure if he was relieved or surprised that Brittany could read a two syllable word, then he realized it had to do with spending money, so of course she could read and pronounce it. He pulled up and set his car to park looking over at Santana’s outstretched hand.
“Visa, Master Card or AmEx... actually, Visa or Master Card? Since I know there’s no way in hell you have an AmEx.” Santana’s burn made Brittany giggle, opening the door and climbing out, smoothing her skirt over her thighs.
“I don’t get to tag along?” Puck pouted, winking at Santana as he handed over his plastic.
Eyebrow raised, Santana gave him a scathing look. “In your dreams, Puckerman.” She smiled. “I did say a shopping spree for just us. Meaning Britt and I.”
Brittany waved her fingers at him. “Sorr-ry Puck!” She linked her pinky with Santana’s as they skipped away. Puck groaned, slamming his head back against the headrest. Nearly an hour and a half went by before he saw them coming back to the car, lips swollen and bags in arms from Abercrombie and Fitch, Norstrom, Victoria’s Secret among others. He winced at the thought of how much they spent but shook it off, remembering he’d be watching them fuck in a matter of hours.
“Just in time, get in the car, our reservation’s in half an hour downtown.”
Santana shrugged, slipping into the back seat with Brittany. “Not our fault you drove so slow getting here, Puck.”
“Yeahhh,” echoed Brittany, “next time don’t drive like my grandpa. I’m pretty sure the speed limit isn’t really important.”
Puck rolled his eyes and started the car, backing out of his space and easing onto the 670 west toward the 70. He glanced in his rearview mirror and nearly lost control of his car as he watched Santana and Brittany kissing slowly, tongue evident as the smaller brunette buried her fingers in Brittany’s blonde hair, a soft whimper escaping the taller girl’s lips as she gasped for air. His pants were tighter and his pulse was racing as he half watched the road, half watched the show in his back seat, not missing the look of both lust and love between them as the kiss broke. “Eyes on the road, Noah!” Santana snapped, tracing a finger along her lower lip, wiping her smudged lip gloss back to perfection.
Dinner was almost exactly like the drive down only without the shitty music. The conversation was owned by Santana and Brittany speaking to each other in their own language of who did what and when and what they thought of it, conversation heavily weighted around Quinn and Puck and the relations that led to their baby. Mostly Puck zoned out on their conversation and stared at Britt’s rack--which looked amazing in the dress she was wearing--or Santana’s lips, watching how they moved when she talked. They were Puck’s favorite part of her when she wasn’t talking. The entire football and basketball team had heard of the legendary head that Santana gave, not to mention the amazing sex that the rebellious celibacy club member had lavished on him during their short but intense relationship that year before she humiliated him in the hallway over his credit score. He was sixteen, who the fuck cared about a credit score when he could screw milfs in their pools and spas and occasional kid’s beds.
After dessert and a bill that came close to two hundred dollars, he was more than ready to take the girls back to the hotel just across from the restaurant. He led the girls into their home away from home for the night, tossing their bags on the floor by the foot of one of the two beds. Brittany hooked her thumbs into the belt loops of Santana’s tiny skirt, pulling her close, leaning their foreheads together as her hips swayed to some unheard music playing in her own head. Their lips met and the show started as they kissed sweetly at first, Santana pulling her obedient blonde down onto the bed, long legs straddling curved hips and lips parted and tongues sought tongues and the kiss turned sexy. Santana’s hands traced up and down Brittany’s long thighs, hooking up under the short skirt of her dress, hiking it up to reveal a matching lacy navy blue thong that stood out in delicious contrast to her soft milky skin. Puck sat back on the other bed, tugging his shirt off, leaning against the mountain of pillows, eyes locked on the little strip of panties clinging tight to Brittany’s lips, the nearly see through lace leaving very little to Puck’s very vivid imagination.
His eyes traced down Brittany’s legs to where Santana was grinding slowly into Britt’s thigh, eyes catching a glimpse of black panties under her skirt. Puck groaned, annoyed, when Santana broke the kiss, giving him an icy look. “Let me set down some ground rules here. You get to look. You don’t get to touch unless one of us touches first and I make no promises that either of us will or won’t touch you, we kinda go with the flow. I don’t want to see your meat, and I’m pretty sure Britt doesn’t either, so if you spank it, keep it under a blanket or something so we don’t have to see it. And what we do in here? Stays in here. I don’t want to hear that you’ve been telling more stories in the locker room or I’ll tell the guys on the hockey team how you came before you ever got in me the first time we fucked. Got it?”
Puck sighed, tugging the hotel blanket over himself, shifting his pants off under it, releasing the strain and pressure with an appreciative sigh, stroking himself silently. “Got it.”
Brittany giggled, dipping her head down to kiss along Santana’s neck slowly, her tongue teasing out of her mouth over tanned skin. Santana started grinding against Brittany’s thigh again, slowly working against her, arching up as perfect teeth dragged over flawless skin and a whimper escaped the mouth that Puck loved so much. Santana grabbed at the dress again, this time pulling it up entirely, over Brittany’s head, tossing it aside. Puck bit the inside of his cheek, running a hand over his mohawk, tightening his fist around himself. Brittany smiled, working the buttons on Santana’s shirt open, revealing smooth caramel skin as she went, leaning down to kiss the skin as she exposed it. Santana shrugged the shirt off, letting it pool behind her, smiling as Brittany pushed it off the bed before reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. She dipped her head down taking a small brown nipple between her lips, sucking gently on it, big light eyes staring up at dark ones.
Santana tangled her fingers into Brittany’s honey blonde hair, moaning in approval before snaking her hand down from the blonde hair to unhook her bra, helping Brittany untangle from it. Puck watched as the dark blue lace bra joined the dress between their beds and moaned. Brittany’s breasts were perfect, looking like they’d fit just so in his hands, her pink nipples already hard with arousal and begging to be touched. And Santana did just that, her fingers tracing over Britt’s nipples, pinching and rolling them, smirking as the blonde sat bolt upright, arching into the touch, moaning. “Fuck, San...” She gasped, her own hands working down to Santana’s hips, pushing her panties off. Puck watched as Santana kicked them blindly, chuckling as they landed on a lamp in the hotel room.
Locking her legs around Brittany she flipped them easily, the blonde laying on her back, hair splayed around her head like a golden halo. Santana dipped her head down, taking one of Brittany’s nipples into her mouth, sucking eagerly at it as she slipped the blue lace panties off, tossing them at Puck, giving him his first souvenir of the night. Puck caught them, looking at them curiously before lifting them to his nose, inhaling slowly. “Smells like pineapples,” he smirked.
“Guess what she tastes like.” Santana teased a finger up Brittany’s slit, gathering some of her juices, lifting the finger to her lips, sucking it clean. “Mmm, yeah. Pineapples.” Brittany whimpered, biting her lip.
“It’s not nice to tease, San...” Brittany moaned softly, arching up, grinding against her.
Santana stood up, motioning at the edge of the bed. “Sit up Britt. The boy paid for a show, we should give it to him.
Brittany stared blankly. “You mean... we weren’t already?”
Rolling her eyes, Santana helped the ditzy blonde sit up so she was on the edge of the bed, legs spread for Puck to see every inch of her, right down to the smooth, hairless folds between her legs. Santana glanced over, hoping to catch his reaction just as he groaned, fisting himself tighter, the motion of his stroking clearly visible under the blanket. “Yeah, but he couldn’t see the best part,” she smirked, kneeling between her legs, kissing up and down her thighs.
Puck and Brittany moaned at the same time, breath quickening in time as Santana leaned in, teasing her tongue along Brittany’s slit, teasing over her clit before she took it into her mouth, sucking eagerly, slipping two fingers into her. Brittany leaned back on her arms, bracing herself as she arched up involuntarily, pressing hard against her lover’s mouth, grinding against her hand. Puck slipped his other hand under the blanket, pinching the base of his shaft lightly, trying to hold off the inevitable that just got that much closer at the sight of Santana going down on Brittany. “Fuck, this is fucking hot as hell, guys.”
Groaning, head rolled back, Brittany giggled. “We know. That’s....nnh... that’s why we do it.” She gasped as Santana did something that he couldn’t see, probably curling her fingers up or scissoring her fingers inside of her. “Fuck! Santana... right there... I’m close.”
Puck closed his eyes a moment, trying to bury the image of Santana pumping and twisting two fingers in and out of a writhing, moaning Brittany deep into his memory banks for safe keeping, opening his eyes only as Brittany cried out, arching up hard against Santana, visibly shaking, before collapsing back, gasping. Santana sat back, licking her fingers, looking up at Puck, sucking on them devilishly. That was all it took for him to come hard under the sheet, leaning back against the headboard, panting. “Fuck.” He looked up at Santana as she walked over, sitting beside him on the bed, leaning forward, kissing him slowly. Puck groaned into her mouth, tasting the sweet, tangy taste of pineapple on Santana’s tongue as they kissed. He whined when Santana pulled away.
“Don’t get greedy.” She pushed him back, standing up. “Damn you are still fucking hot, Puck... but you’re not getting any of this tonight. Keep spanking, Britt still hasn’t fucked me yet.”
Brittany sat up, looking a bit dazed and nodded. “I like making her scream.” She smiled, sitting back against the headboard. “But I have to stop being dizzy first. Santi makes me dizzy when she fucks me.”
Puck grinned, watching as Santana sat with Brittany, cradling her close, cupping her face, kissing her softly. “So what exactly are you guys? Are you just fooling around or...”
Brittany smiled, kissing Santana sweetly. “I love Santana. She’s like... my best friend in the world and... she makes me have so many orgasms! I’d do anything for my Santi.”
Smiling, Santana tucked a lock of hair behind Brittany’s ear. “You’re my sunshine.” She kissed her nose sweetly, smiling in a way Puck had never seen before.
“Damn, so you’re lovers huh?”
“Tell anyone and I will have your balls removed in your sleep.”
Puck swallowed, nodding. “I won’t tell anyone... but damn I’d love to see this more often.”
“We’ll think about it. Okay?”
Nodding again, Puck sat up, covering himself as he walked to the bathroom to clean himself up. When he came back out, the girls were making out, hands wandering over skin. He stood for a moment, unable to do anything but stare as he watched the girls touch and caress and kiss, tongues moving over lips and tongue. “God damn. How did i not know you two were fucking sooner? This is so hot.”
Santana gave him the finger and kept kissing Brittany sweetly before breaking the kiss. “Still dizzy, baby?” She cupped the other girl’s cheek, looking at her, concerned.
“Nope!” Brittany smiled, kissing her playfully. “Now it’s your turn!” The blonde pounced, pinning Santana back against the pillow, kissing her slowly, kissing down her body, taking deliberate time at her hip bones, teasing her tongue over the sensitive skin before continuing down between her legs, pushing them apart a bit.
Santana whimpered, gasping and arching up into Brittany’s touches, moaning loudly as Britt spread her lips, swirling her tongue over her hole slowly before pressing it in, fingertips teasing over her clit. Puck didn’t even bother with the blanket this time, knowing both girls were so lost in each other that they wouldn’t notice him stroking himself slowly. He could see Britt’s tongue working fast in and out of Santana’s hole, watching her fingers work quickly over her clit, pinching and rolling it, flicking it playfully before suddenly pulling off and switching, sliding three fingers into her, her mouth moving to her clit, sucking and nipping at it with her teeth.
Writhing on the bed, Santana wrapped a leg around Brittany’s shoulders, pulling her closer, her ministrations no longer visible to Puck’s eyes, though the effects were not only visible as Santana began to shake and quiver, but audible as her moans turned to yelps and then screams as Brittany’s hand moved even faster. Soon filthy pleas and curses were mingled in with her screams as her body went rigid, pressed tight against Brittany’s mouth and the blonde sat back, her quick, rough gestures turning into slow, deliberate strokes as she milked every last moan out of Santana’s quickly quieting orgasm. She sat back, licking her fingers clean before leaning back down to clean up the juices slicking Santana’s lips and thighs. Puck groaned again, coming hard all over his chest. “Fuck... that was... hot.”
Brittany blushed and smiled. “Thanks?” She laughed again. “You got yourself all messy, Puck.”
“No, you got me all messy. Watching you fuck Santana.”
Britt shrugged and slipped over to the other bed, licking his chest slowly, eyes locked with his as she licked every drop off of his chest. She sat back, licking her lips. “If I made the mess, I guess I have to clean it up, too.”
Puck groaned, runnin his hands through her hair. “FUCK you two are hot as HELL.” He cupped her chin, lifting her head. “Santana... can I..?”
“Don’t ask me,” Santana groaned, sitting up a bit. “Ask her.”
Before giving him a chance to answer, Brittany leaned up, kissing him slowly, fingers grasping at his nipple ring, teasing it gently as they kissed before sitting back. “Sorry, Puck... not tonight.” She smirked, slipping back into the bed with Santana. “Let’s take a nap... then maybe we can play some more?”
Santana purred and pulled Brittany close. “I like the way you think.” She kissed her softly and curled against her, closing her eyes.
Sighing softly, Puck tugged the sheets back up over himself, watching them, shaking his head. Worth every penny.