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Title: Laundry Day is A Very Dangerous Day
Author: elekanahmen aka Jax
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Disclaimer- I don't own them, as they're clearly NOT chained up in my closet
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Fluff 'n' Smutter. If you can't handle either (you angsty things, you) don't read it.
Summary: JJ discovers that Emily doesn't know how to do her own laundry.
Note: Inspired by actual events (a girl learning how to do laundry despite being twenty-something) while at the laundromat with my roommate. The smut was her idea, I was just going to write fluff. To gilligankane because if she hadn't kept pestering me for this, I probably wouldn't have finished it.
Reposted for Archiving, i really tried to backdate i'm so sorry >.<;;



Emily looked over her shoulder covertly, making sure she wasn’t being watched as she slowly pulled open the door, pressing herself against the wall as she slipped into the dark room, closing the door quietly behind her. She groped along the wall silently searching for the light switch. Click. The room lit up before her and she carefully scanned the walls of the walk-in closet for what she needed, running her fingers over hangers and garment bags. It has to be in here somewhere. “Ah ha!” Emily grasped the hanger between her fingers, holding up the red cardigan, inspecting it carefully. This discovery would make or break her day.

Emily jumped as the hinges on the door squeaked, swinging open, the red cardigan’s owner standing with well-polished nails tapping on curving hips. “Emily… really? We need to talk about this you not knowing how to do your own laundry thing. You can’t keep stealing my shirts. Someone is going to notice, we do work with profilers.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, the brunette blushed guiltily. “Jayj… honestly, Conchita usually—“

“Emily Prentiss! That woman deserved a serious vacation and her being gone for a month doesn’t mean you can’t… baby, please tell me you’ve washed something.

“About that, can we go to Victoria’s Secret later?”

“EMILY! Okay, that’s it. We’re going to the Laundromat after work today. You are learning how to do your own laundry. No more pampering for you.” JJ gave Emily a look.

“It’s not my fault that mother never let me do my own laundry.”

“You went to college, didn’t you?”

The guilty blush deepened, “There’s this great place in New Haven that you can get your laundry done for seven dollars a pound.”

JJ’s eyes narrowed. “Oh you have got to be kidding me. You’re one of the most self-sufficient people I know, barring this. You seriously can’t do your own laundry?”

Emily held her hands up. “I tried it once and ended up with a pink blouse the day before I was supposed to go into the BAU for my first day. It was a bad omen. Do you know how hard it is to go into a meeting with Erin Strauss with a pink blouse on? A streaky pink blouse?”

JJ picked up a pink, three-quarter length sleeve blouse off the floor, sleeves cuffed in evidence that Emily had last worn it. “You mean like this one? My blouse that you wore… two, three days ago?”
Emily blushed. “Jayj… sweetie… just this one more. We’ll swing by the mall after work and I can grab some more.”

“No. You wear that one more today and we go to the Bubbles and Beans and you will learn how to do your laundry and get over this little phobia of yours.” JJ shook her head. “Honestly, Emily… I was doing my own laundry when I was seven.”

“I was in Belgium when I was seven.”

JJ threw her hands up in the air and growled, frustrated, walking out of the closet. Emily sighed, shaking her head with a smile. JJ had no idea how adorable she was when she did that. Slipping the shirt on, tugging her last clean pair of black slacks on, Emily emerged into the bedroom where JJ was brushing her hair back into a ponytail. “I love you…” Emily trailed off hopefully.

JJ’s eyes flitted up to the older woman, watching her. “Oh don’t you give me that look.”

Emily slipped her arms around JJ’s waist. “But I do…” she softly kissed her neck, taking the horseshoe necklace from JJ’s hands, clasping it around her neck for her.

Shooing her lover away, JJ stood and slipped on a pair of pumps. “Get your laundry together and put it in the car, baby, I’ll get our coffee.”

Emily groaned, making a face as she filled two mesh laundry bags with a combination of her clothes and JJ’s, clearing the floor of the closet. With a sigh, she carried them down the stairs to JJ, who was waiting with their travel mugs. JJ nodded at the door. “All the way to the car, this is your mess, not mine.” Emily stuck out her tongue and JJ laughed, “I’m so not falling for that, Em. Go.”




Emily leaned against the frame of JJ’s office door. “I don’t see why we can’t just drop it off at a fluff and fold.”

“You’re not paying an arm and a leg for someone else to do your laundry poorly when you can learn how to do it yourself. You’re how old, Em, and you don’t know how to do a simple load of laundry?”

Morgan, who was walking by, slowed, “Wait a minute, Prentiss, you don’t know how to do laundry?”

“Gee, thanks, Jayj.”

Morgan laughed, slapping his hand on Emily’s shoulder. “Which one will you live down faster, this or Goth Girl?” He grinned wickedly, sauntering off to Garcia’s office.

JJ was stifling laughter, her eyes sparkling. “Bet you’re gonna learn how to do laundry real fast tonight, hmm?” She smiled smugly, resting her chin on her open palm, her fingers playing at her lips in that way that frustrated Emily in the sweetest way possible.

“You brat.” Emily stuck her tongue out again and strutted away from JJ’s office with what little dignity she had left.

Emily walked into the bullpen, trying to hold her head high despite Morgan sitting on the edge of Reid’s desk, whispering something excitedly, hands animated, to Reid and Garcia who were on either side of him. Reid looked up and smiled. “If it’s any consolation, I didn’t start doing my own laundry until I was in college, Emily.”

Morgan snorted, “Reid, dude, you were twelve.”

Rolling her eyes, Emily picked a paper clip up off her desk, hurling it at the three, watching it land pathetically in Reid’s tousled hair. “So that would be a no on the consolation?” Reid smiled, picking the clip out of his hair gingerly.

“Oh ho, Prentiss,” Morgan chuckled his words, “I have not even begun…”

Emily collapsed in her chair, defeated, eyeing the clock that sped on to the end of the day and the inevitable Laundromat. The word had never seemed so ominous.




JJ tapped her keys on Emily’s desk, snapping the brunette out of the half-asleep daze she usually associated with paperwork. “Come on, sleeping beauty, it’s laundry time.”

Emily opened her mouth, half wanting to whine, half knowing that it would only further shed away any of her remaining dignity. She closed her mouth, hanging her head in defeat, standing up from her desk, jamming files and her Blackberry into her bag, hoisting it over her shoulder.

Morgan laughed as she walked by. “Don’t you girls have too much fun with your laundry, now.” Growling lightly at the man, she scratched her cheek gently with her middle finger, trying to covertly flip him off, causing him to laugh even harder. “Aw man, Reid, maybe she really is twelve!”

JJ grabbed Emily’s arm, pulling her gently. “Come on, Laundry waits for no woman. It’s already waited long enough.”

Morgan couldn’t help but get one last jab in, shouting, “Yeah, you’ve been wearing JJ’s shirts for a couple of weeks now!”

The blush that spread across her cheeks was unavoidable, JJ, Morgan and Reid were all laughing and JJ elbowed her gently in the ribs whispering, “Busted.”




Emily hoisted the two mesh bags up onto the long counter at the Laundromat. She’d changed into a tee shirt and sweats in the bathroom in the building so that she could wash the clothes she wore to work that day, JJ had done the same, tossing her work clothes into one of the bags. “Alright, first lesson, separating the darks from the lights. I always break down further than that, doing darks, lights, reds and whites. That way no colors bleed into the whites and the reds, which have a nasty habit of bleeding the worst, can just bleed into each other.” JJ looked up to Emily’s blank stare. “Little piles, baby. Just make little piles.” She hoisted herself up onto the counter, her legs dangling over the sides.

“Aren’t you going to help me?”

“Nope. This is all you, baby.” JJ leaned against the wall, her blue and gold East Allegheny Wildcats shirt riding up just a little bit over her well-muscled abdomen giving her a peek at the little V of muscle and bone that teased down into her low-slung sweatpants. This was going to be harder than she thought.

Grudgingly, Emily sorted through the clothes, JJ making a little noise every now and then when Emily would put what she thought was a light shirt in the light pile, but JJ shook her head. “Okay, sorted. Now what?”

JJ hopped down, her ponytail bobbing with the motion. “Alright, put one of those loads into this cart,” she gestured toward one of the awkward laundry carts, “and bring it over to a washer. The front loaders are more energy efficient but they’re also a little more expensive, so… whichever.”

“Saving Energy for 200, Alex…” Emily pushed the cart with her darks, her largest load by a landslide, toward the seemingly tiny front-load washers, detergent in hand. She stared blankly at the machine, as if hoping that the laundry would spring to life, whistling, and chuck itself into the open door of the washing machine.

The open palm of JJ’s left hand rested exasperatedly against her forehead. “Em… put the clothes in the machine. Put a scoop of detergent into the trap door on top.” Emily followed JJ’s instructions, marveling that her entire load fit in the small machine, turning to her when she was done. “Now you choose if you want hot, warm or cold water; cold saves energy, hot kills germs, warm… is a happy medium. I usually use cold unless I’ve been sick, then I use hot. Don’t…” She saw Emily’s eyes flash mischievously at the mention of hot water. “That wasn’t an invitation for you to make some sly remark about something or someone being hot. Choose your temperature, then put in the number of quarters it says you need.” JJ placed a bag of quarters on top of the machine, watching Emily push the buttons.

After a few minutes, the first load was successfully underway and JJ had resumed her perch on the counter, admiring her lover while she watched carefully measure out detergent, decide whether she wanted hot or cold water, and at the last minute save a red shirt from the load of whites, a triumphant grin on her face as she tossed the red sock into the red load and closed the door. The older agent rarely let her armor down and JJ considered herself lucky that she got to see the softer, playful side of her as she was now. Emily sauntered back over to JJ, standing between the blonde’s parted knees. “Now what?”

“Now we wait 40 minutes.”

“We have 40 minutes?”

JJ watched Emily’s expressive face as she pondered first boredom, curiosity and then, ultimately, mischief. Arching an eyebrow, she watched Emily’s fingers trace slow patterns up and down her lover’s arms, shivering slightly as goose bumps rose up in their wake. “Emily…” she started, warningly.

“Hmm?” Her voice sounded bored, but her eyes were glinting something else entirely.

“We’re in the middle of a Laundromat with surveillance cameras and a family with about six kids using the machines twenty feet away…” She grimaced slightly, the tone of her own voice reminding her of when her mother used to threaten to turn the car around when her family took their yearly pilgrimage to Niagara Falls. Emily drew her bottom lip between her teeth, biting it thoughtfully.

She held up her index finger and turned, walking over to the front desk for the fluff and fold service. She spoke quickly to the attendant in Spanish, JJ’s scant knowledge of the language picking up one of the most important words she knew, baño.

Emily walked back with a smile curling her lips, swinging a key around her finger. She turned the corner, disappearing behind a row of dryers. JJ shook her head in disbelief when the brunette head popped back around the tall dryer stacks, nodding down the hallway she’d disappeared into. She wasn’t. She wouldn’t.

Glancing at the washers, she noted that they still had 35 minutes and with a reluctant sigh, she slid from the counter, looking to be sure no one was watching, and padded quietly to the hallway, slipping behind the dryers to where Emily was waiting, the key still twirling around her finger. “What do you think you’re doing, Miss Prentiss?”

Emily slid the key into a lock and opened the door of the bathroom, grabbing JJ’s hand as she tugged her in after her, closing the door behind them. Startled, JJ looked up into Emily’s eyes, a smile growing across her face as she recognized the wicked mischief in them. “This,” she replied with a smile, pinning JJ against the door, pressing her lips against her lover’s mouth, kissing her slowly.

Moaning in delight as she felt JJ’s tongue press against her lips, the older agent parted them, darting her tongue out to meet the other as hands began exploring cotton covered territory that they knew so well. Emily’s fingers, seeking her lover’s soft warm flesh, slipped under the hem of JJ’s tee shirt, exploring the soft skin and pushing her shirt higher and higher over her stomach. Breaking the kiss, JJ lifted her arms, letting Emily tug her shirt off before she grabbed the sides of Emily’s threadbare grey Yale Bulldogs shirt, tugging it over her head. Their eyes met and what was playful flirting in Emily’s eyes moments before was now a contagious hunger and lust that JJ couldn’t help but feel growing in herself.

Emily pressed her lips gently against JJ’s neck, kissing slowly down it, flicking her tongue out at steady intervals, smiling against her lover’s skin as she felt her tremble lightly with each lick. JJ’s hands moved up Emily’s body from her hips, one cupping her left breast, thumb tracing lazy circles around her nipple; the other tangling in Emily’s long, dark hair. The blonde moaned softly as lips kissed and licked over her collarbone and hands found her hips, lifting her gently against the door. Instinctively, she locked her legs around Emily’s waist, bracing herself, as lips closed around her right nipple, sucking and licking gently.

Emily wrapped her arms around JJ’s back, her mouth never leaving her skin as she slowly kissed and licked to her other nipple. Gently bracing her, Emily slowly moved them to the sink counter, sitting JJ down on the cold marble. As JJ’s legs loosened around her waist, Emily’s lips continued kissing lower, her hand slipping down the younger woman’s running shorts. JJ’s body tensed as she gasped, Emily’s warm fingers seeking her hot center, running slowly along her slit. Lifting her hips, JJ hooked her fingers into the shorts and her panties, slipping them down. Emily kissed down her lover’s stomach, tracing the gentle rise and fall of her muscles with her lips. Continuing her journey down JJ’s body, Emily kissed slowly along the top of her left thigh, down to her knee as her fingers slowly found their way into her heat. Kissing back up the inside of her right thigh, Emily ran her tongue slowly along the length of the sticky folds of skin, placing gentle kisses on the matted hone blonde curls of hair before darting her tongue between her lips, swirling it around JJ’s hard and swollen clit.

JJ cried out, arching her back, both hands now tangled in Emily’s dark hair, pressing her mouth closer as Emily slipped a second finger in, twisting and bending the fingers while pumping steadily. She sucked gently on JJ’s clit, nibbling gently, listening to the younger woman whimper and whine, choking back loud moans for fear of being caught. Emily hummed gently, pressing her teeth against the hard nub between her lips as she crooked her finger, pressing it tightly against the rough patch of flesh and nerves that drove JJ over the edge, one hand grasping at the counter, holding it tightly, white-knuckled, as she rocked against Emily’s mouth, gasping and moaning softly. Emily stood slowly after lapping up the last of JJ’s sweet juices, her eyes trained on her lover. JJ looked up at her through heavy lids, collapsed back against the mirror, licking her lips. “That… was…”

“Thank you.”

“Thank me? Shouldn’t I be…”

“Nah,” Emily shrugged with a smile. “Thanks for teaching me how to do my laundry. And for letting me borrow your sweater.”

“Don’t worry… When we get home, I’ll show you how welcome you are.” JJ grinned, now suddenly eager to get home to return the favor to Emily.

Emily bent over, scooping up JJ’s discarded shorts and panties. “I believe these are yours?”

“Thanks, baby.”

Emily emerged first after washing her hands and face. JJ snuck out a few minutes later after smoothing her hair and redressing. She walked back to the front desk with the key. “Thank you for the key!” She said with a smile.

The employee took it from her with a slightly confused look, her eyes darting shiftily between the blonde and the brunette who had originally taken the key from her. When JJ got back to Emily, she was staring at the washers, which were still counting down another twenty minutes. “You know, I really thought that we would have killed more time doing that.”

JJ raised an eyebrow, hopping back up onto the counter, watching Emily. “Well we can always watch whatever bad telenovela is on…” JJ trailed off, gesturing at the muted television. Emily grinned and hopped up next to JJ as they began to invent their own dialogue for the arguing Spanish lovers on the screen.

In what felt like mere minutes, the first washer buzzed and Emily, who was now resting against JJ, their hands entwined, sat up, sliding off of the counter. JJ followed soon after, grabbing one of the carts. Emily unloaded the washer and JJ led her over to the wall of dryers. “Okay now, just like with the washer, this has four settings… High, Medium, Low and Delicate. High will dry things faster while low and delicate are good for, well, delicates. Just remember that if you have things that could shrink, they will shrink on high and possibly on medium.”

Emily took in everything JJ was saying and loaded up the dryer with the wet clothes, setting it to medium. JJ put four quarters in and pressed start. She handed the bag of quarters to Emily and walked back over to the counter to watch Emily.

Once again finding herself abandoned by her teacher, Emily filled the remaining dryers with clothes, setting them all to medium and putting four quarters into each of them. She watched as the family with the zoo of children filed past, the mother pulling a wagon loaded down with more laundry bags than Emily could fathom.

Emily hopped up onto the counter next to JJ and looked at her, eyebrow raised. “It looks like it’s just you and me, baby…” She wiggled her eyebrows.

JJ lowered her voice to a husky alto and replied in mock sexiness, “Oh yeah… you, me and the Fluff & Fold lady… kinky.”

Emily rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around JJ’s waist pulling her close. “We’ve got 40 minutes until we have to take the stuff out of the dryer…”

Resting her forehead against Emily’s JJ laughed softly. “You, Miss Prentiss, are incorrigible.” She kissed Emily’s lips softly, resting her head on her shoulder. “I love you.”

Emily laughed and kissed the top of JJ’s head. “I love you too, Jayj. And thank you for teaching me how to do my own laundry. Just don’t count on it meaning I’ll never wear your shirts again.”


Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
steppenwolf_20
Oct. 16th, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
I have a sudden urge to do laundry now....

Nicely done!
elekanahmen
Oct. 16th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
laundry day is a very, very sexual....i mean dangerous...day
darklashes03
Apr. 12th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
God I wish the time I've spent at the laundromat was spent like THAT!!!
Totally loved this...not knowing how to do laundry seems like SUCH an Emily *thing* and JJ (seriously I'm just totally in love with her...so gorgeous)
Anyways I know I'm a little late to the Emily/JJ game but I'm so glad I'm here now:)And I'm sure the next few hours will be spent reading your other stories:)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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