Poem: Ghost

If today marked how the rest of my life would be
I wouldn’t survive on just the time alone
All the strength within my heart
is fading quietly 

Burning, raging, words carved in stone
It dulls to embers
barely concealing hurts

Cut, scars, bones
My soul feels like a ghost frozen in December
long lost to time
wanting to remember
a beautiful night, gazing into a princes eyes
with dark passion playing on the lips 
of angels made of marble 

their eyes were like amber
their touch so cold
I can feel myself fading 
even as the ghosts find their homes

in the arms of lovers who haven’t quite died
I struggle to breathe, to live
to survive

it feels like darkness is closing over my head
haunting my dreams, sleeping under my bed

I feel like screaming, like begging to be woken up 
I just cant live like this
in this place where only sadness remains

the fallen spirit of an angel in chains
I feel nothing but anger
I have nothing but rage

I cant even sleep 
without being haunted of promises
they’ve yet to keep 
Screams that have woken 
me in the middle of the night

Feeling powerless,
slowly losing this fight

How could I have fallen 
so far from my grace
If my words went spoken
Just to save me some face

I could try 
to pry into my innermost reserves 
living for silence 
hungry for words
beatnik betty

[prose] what is love?

What is love?
A question, asked rhetorically.

We cannot look it up in the encyclopedia,
and we cannot Google-search the meaning.

In moments of despair,
it is not so easy as an instruction manual,
or a to-do list, or a spreadsheet.

It is not a formula, nor a calculation.
Not a code to program, nor a simple script.

No, love is undeniable and identifiable,
but not solidly defined.

I know it when I see it.
I can recognize the sound.
And as I try to deny it,
the interpretation is found.


(C) Bethany Moore

a girl named paradise (june 18, 2007)

he said, “come here let’s play”
let’s make ourselves fall
and she said, “yes, let’s do that”
let’s give it our all

and then he said, “i quit”
there’s this overwhelming guilt
she said, “oh great, how about me”
i can’t seem to quit you anymore …

and her name was paradise
the world around her leaves her in disguise
she can’t seem to be herself anymore
now nothing will be like before

ok, he said, “come on let’s play”
i love you but i can’t get away
i need you but i just can’t stay
i can’t be here with you …

and her name was paradise
the songs he play serves her alibi
to keep him inside when he had let go
but she can’t let him ever know
he can never know …

her name was paradise
i love you but good bye

  • Current Music
    not falling apart – maroon 5

breathe (please comment)

breathing
in
out
and again
stay alive
lungs move
up
down
and again
chewing
swollowing
digesting
these words of hate
that are thrown at me
rejected
to the point of no return
lovely
non-existent
or is it?
breathe
in
out
and again
reminders to
stay alive
in
out
and again
 
  • Current Music
    Disciple

in peace (march 17, 2007)

 

ah ... the familiar pain
when love is finally gone
stingy ...
unpleasant ...
this burning feeling inside
of extreme loss
of unbearable gravity
of everything gone in an instant

tasty ...
still palpable
in all your senses
with his hasty presence
this feeling still remains
as familiar as everyday

ah ... the familiar hope
floating freely in the air
from the last woes made
to everything falling in place again
will it ever last this time?
will everything be alright for good?

uncertain ...
a nauseating shadow of doubt
cast instantly
as fast as reality
this familiar feeling of being at ease
may it finally rest in peace

 

  • Current Music
    everything - lifehouse
daria

a call for creative patriotism

I want to share some "insider information".

The First Freedom First campaign:
[Official Website]

... is about to launch some creative contests through MySpace and Facebook...

During the month of April we will be accepting poetry and prose submissions on topics relating to religious freedom, church-state separation, and/or any of the issues covered in the First Freedom First campaign.

There's plenty of you creative types out there... I hope some of you can participate.

I know I'll be using it as an excuse to pop more poetry out of my system...

~B

DEFECTIVE OF THEIR MISSION (November 21st, 2006)

Soothed by the whisper of a cool wind
My soul longed for our reunion
The past compiled my wordy thoughts
Your gaze made me feel jumbled, confused.
I can't remember just what was eating you
When we are together, it is anochronistic
My mind is swimming in a sea of old thoughts
Nostalgic reasons to question my choices.
What am I supposed to do with our situation?
No one wants a girl they can't understand
I guess
That's why
I feel I must remove myself, try again.
When I see the robot girls in their
Pink party dresses, looking at the floor
I am thankful that the same conditioning
Left me blissfully
Defective of their mission.
The same cake they have and eat
I would surely choke on and die.
I raise my fists in anger
At the life I have rejected.
I extend my arms in comfort
Towards the memory of what we were.

the coming of age (february 20, 2007)

 

exercising
the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

calculating
the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

leaving
the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy

 

  • Current Music
    love thy will be done - martika

back then (fucking son of a gun) (october 13, 2001)

 

back then
back then
when the world was fine
you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and my world crumbled, dissolved, and rumbled
with this feeling of love, lore and misinformation

back then
back then
i was alone and i was fine
the sky was all mine
and there was never any shades of blue
but then you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and the sky faltered, stammered, and trembled
with this feeling so remarkable, so cruel, and so beautiful
you are so beautiful

back then
back then
i never thought of this till then
i never felt like this till then
back then
back then
like im falling in love with you again
back then

 

  • Current Music
    why cant i – liz phair