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Poem: Ghost [01 Mar 2012|04:47pm]

If today marked how the rest of my life would be
I wouldn’t survive on just the time alone
All the strength within my heart
is fading quietly 

Burning, raging, words carved in stone
It dulls to embers
barely concealing hurts

Cut, scars, bones
My soul feels like a ghost frozen in December
long lost to time
wanting to remember
a beautiful night, gazing into a princes eyes
with dark passion playing on the lips 
of angels made of marble 

their eyes were like amber
their touch so cold
I can feel myself fading 
even as the ghosts find their homes

in the arms of lovers who haven’t quite died
I struggle to breathe, to live
to survive

it feels like darkness is closing over my head
haunting my dreams, sleeping under my bed

I feel like screaming, like begging to be woken up 
I just cant live like this
in this place where only sadness remains

the fallen spirit of an angel in chains
I feel nothing but anger
I have nothing but rage

I cant even sleep 
without being haunted of promises
they’ve yet to keep 
Screams that have woken 
me in the middle of the night

Feeling powerless,
slowly losing this fight

How could I have fallen 
so far from my grace
If my words went spoken
Just to save me some face

I could try 
to pry into my innermost reserves 
living for silence 
hungry for words
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[prose] what is love? [02 Apr 2010|11:11pm]

What is love?
A question, asked rhetorically.

We cannot look it up in the encyclopedia,
and we cannot Google-search the meaning.

In moments of despair,
it is not so easy as an instruction manual,
or a to-do list, or a spreadsheet.

It is not a formula, nor a calculation.
Not a code to program, nor a simple script.

No, love is undeniable and identifiable,
but not solidly defined.

I know it when I see it.
I can recognize the sound.
And as I try to deny it,
the interpretation is found.

(C) Bethany Moore
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a girl named paradise (june 18, 2007) [26 Jun 2007|11:26am]


he said, “come here let’s play”
let’s make ourselves fall
and she said, “yes, let’s do that”
let’s give it our all

and then he said, “i quit”
there’s this overwhelming guilt
she said, “oh great, how about me”
i can’t seem to quit you anymore …

and her name was paradise
the world around her leaves her in disguise
she can’t seem to be herself anymore
now nothing will be like before

ok, he said, “come on let’s play”
i love you but i can’t get away
i need you but i just can’t stay
i can’t be here with you …

and her name was paradise
the songs he play serves her alibi
to keep him inside when he had let go
but she can’t let him ever know
he can never know …

her name was paradise
i love you but good bye

4 comments|post comment

breathe (please comment) [22 Jun 2007|11:36pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

and again
stay alive
lungs move
and again
these words of hate
that are thrown at me
to the point of no return
or is it?
and again
reminders to
stay alive
and again
1 comment|post comment

in peace (march 17, 2007) [29 Mar 2007|03:22pm]



ah ... the familiar pain
when love is finally gone
stingy ...
unpleasant ...
this burning feeling inside
of extreme loss
of unbearable gravity
of everything gone in an instant

tasty ...
still palpable
in all your senses
with his hasty presence
this feeling still remains
as familiar as everyday

ah ... the familiar hope
floating freely in the air
from the last woes made
to everything falling in place again
will it ever last this time?
will everything be alright for good?

uncertain ...
a nauseating shadow of doubt
cast instantly
as fast as reality
this familiar feeling of being at ease
may it finally rest in peace


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a call for creative patriotism [28 Mar 2007|04:00pm]

I want to share some "insider information".

The First Freedom First campaign:
[Official Website]

... is about to launch some creative contests through MySpace and Facebook...

During the month of April we will be accepting poetry and prose submissions on topics relating to religious freedom, church-state separation, and/or any of the issues covered in the First Freedom First campaign.

There's plenty of you creative types out there... I hope some of you can participate.

I know I'll be using it as an excuse to pop more poetry out of my system...

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DEFECTIVE OF THEIR MISSION (November 21st, 2006) [02 Mar 2007|02:22pm]
Soothed by the whisper of a cool wind
My soul longed for our reunion
The past compiled my wordy thoughts
Your gaze made me feel jumbled, confused.
I can't remember just what was eating you
When we are together, it is anochronistic
My mind is swimming in a sea of old thoughts
Nostalgic reasons to question my choices.
What am I supposed to do with our situation?
No one wants a girl they can't understand
I guess
That's why
I feel I must remove myself, try again.
When I see the robot girls in their
Pink party dresses, looking at the floor
I am thankful that the same conditioning
Left me blissfully
Defective of their mission.
The same cake they have and eat
I would surely choke on and die.
I raise my fists in anger
At the life I have rejected.
I extend my arms in comfort
Towards the memory of what we were.
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the coming of age (february 20, 2007) [21 Feb 2007|10:06am]



the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy


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back then (fucking son of a gun) (october 13, 2001) [19 Feb 2007|02:32pm]



back then
back then
when the world was fine
you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and my world crumbled, dissolved, and rumbled
with this feeling of love, lore and misinformation

back then
back then
i was alone and i was fine
the sky was all mine
and there was never any shades of blue
but then you came, you conquered
you fucking son of a gun
and the sky faltered, stammered, and trembled
with this feeling so remarkable, so cruel, and so beautiful
you are so beautiful

back then
back then
i never thought of this till then
i never felt like this till then
back then
back then
like im falling in love with you again
back then


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I stand alone [18 Feb 2007|09:25pm]
I told myself that life
With all its misgivings
Had much to offer, I struggled
I wept into my hands,
Feeling the cold winds
Of change and transition blow
I equivocated, whispering
Sweet nothings to myself
To carry on.
To believe in myself.
To embrace independence.
Mayhaps it was never enough.
No matter who told me that
It would be alright,
That I was smart and kind
That I was special
I never believed a word.
Whispering those same words
I tremble violently with
Uncertainty and fear.
I stood alone and felt helpless
I braced against my desire
To renounce the courage I had felt
Remembering how I felt alive again
Knowing that I was worth it
Enough to believe in
Enough to hold on to
Having faith in what I will become.
I cannot stand behind the safety
Of what is familiar and comfortable.
I feel empty and torn, standing alone
But I will fill that void
With my hopes and dreams
And know that I am strong.
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for everything (January 21, 2002) [16 Feb 2007|01:38pm]



oh thank you so much
for being so uninspiring
for bridging life and ending
so close to my threshold
like your heart is my falling scaffold

oh thank you so much
for being so uninviting
like you never did anything
but an endless time of luring…
to bait me
so slowly
to need you
when im not supposed to

oh thank you so much
for love and its wonders
for life and its marvels
to long for you
when im not meant to
and to be meant for you
when im not supposed to

thank you so much
for love above anything
for time in the end of endings
for life in the moment of everything
for everything, for everything, for everything…


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i know a place (october 14, 2001) [15 Feb 2007|02:18pm]



i know a place
where the sun is a mess
and the skies are delightfully gray
and sirens paint the day
i know this place
where the world is fine
where the seas are impossibly blue
where ive always belonged to you…

but you don’t, but you don’t

i know a scene
from a long forgotten dream
when you smiled so enchantingly
and i laughed non-cynically
i know this scene
long before ive stopped to dream
long before ive stopped to believe
that youll never ever leave…

and you did, and you did

i know that place long before today
when your memory starts to fade
and the tears started to dissipate
for i have entirely forgotten you…

but i don’t, but i don’t
and you did, and you did

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arms of a stranger (february 10, 2002) [14 Feb 2007|08:22am]



here in the arms of a stranger
in the heart of common ground
were hate is never love
and love never hates
nothing of that sort exists
but only this moment in times absence

here in the absence of time
theres a lingering sight of perfection
pleading for this feeling to eventually fall
like raindrops falling from the sky
waiting to hit the ground finally

here in the realms of the present
were yesterday steps in
and tomorrow walks away
i feel home like coldness around
i feel love like hate in a distant sound

its all here in the arms of tonight
its all here in the arms of a stranger
were eternity exists between his eyes and mine
and it pleads to cease the existence of time
here in the arms of a stranger
here in the arms of tonight


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spark of lunacy (january 28, 2002) [13 Feb 2007|10:03am]



breath with me
the air of recklessness
when you sat beside me
when you brushed by my heart accidentally

laugh hard with me
the smile of such healthy treachery
of you pertaining to be intimate to me
of love being sprung so effortlessly

breath and laugh
you and me
breath and laugh with this sudden opportunity
breath and laugh
this spark of lunacy
just breath and laugh
with this flicker of spontaneity

sleep tight with me
watch me close my eyes fervently
and pray with me hard enough o let this be

drown constantly with me
in this engagement between constant adversaries
of enemies being politely so meant to be
of fate so perfectly orchestrating this story

sleep and drown
you and me
sleep and drown in this sea of frenzy
sleep and drown
in the abyss of infinite fancy
sleep and drown
in this spark of lunacy
all for you
and all for me


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of love and not love (january 21, 2002) [12 Feb 2007|10:35am]



swooning under the carpet
of love and not love
of emotions and none emotions
crashing under the rug of desire
or faltering under the feet of denial

fumbling all over
your heart so full of carelessness
of stepping out or being stepped at
of being conscious or being ridiculous
of love and the so-called love
of you yesterday and of you now
i wonder whom did i loved the most somehow

between love and hatred
of being impassioned or angered
i wonder how did i ever made it
in times and in places
between right and wrong
i swoon underneath the mat
of love and not love
of being in love and being in love with you


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interlude IX [09 Feb 2007|11:34am]



wondering ... wondering
if you are
as sincere as cheating
as gallant as whining
as kind as lying
as valiant as hiding

wondering ... wondering
if love is
as furious as hatred
as scarlet as death
as fervent as bluntness
as plain as everyday



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i said goodbye [02 Feb 2007|12:17pm]



moving forth
secretly hurting
deep inside
youve let me down
"have the ships been long gone?"

no looking back
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore

i am lost
this world is too big without you
ill drown
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye

facing ahead
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?


1 comment|post comment

[poem] religious freedom [01 Feb 2007|12:24pm]

I wrote this poem about my feelings about my religious freedom as a person who walks a non-mainstream spiritual path. I originally started writing this poem last August for the First Freedom First campaign, and then I let it sit for awhile because it needed to be reworked. It was mostly conceptual before, and now its a little more poetic. I was inspired last night to finish it.

Enjoy! Feedback welcome.
And click the link above to sign a very important petition to safeguard separation of church and state, and protect religious liberty.


My First Freedom

to worship
to dance, to meditate,
Sometimes silence to think
or a song to sing.

People and choices,
lives and spirituality can
change and evolve--
It could change and sway
grow and bloom.

But always revered is my
freedom to decide these sacred needs
for me.

to light a candle,
to burn some herbs,
to find inspiration in
the element of fire and
the scent of the earth,
this, my freedom to choose my methods,
to find my inspiration
as it comes

According only to me.

to dare to find meaning
in the placement of the planets and stars;
to think there's higher thinking that is
to respect that we each
are on our own unique paths;
our own journeys around the same sun--
little planets giving light and
giving life, each
in our own way.

Everyone is
making choices everyday.

But have we asked ourselves lately
if we are making choices
to make ourselves
more free?
Or are we blinded in the clouds
That rain down
Are we doing
to set ourselves free?
Or are you going to tell me
That I cannot choose and practice
my spirituality?


(c) Bethany Moore 2007
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jadie [29 Jan 2007|03:34pm]



jadie i called your name
you were the light and you were sane
you were courageous yet so naive
and so i left you as you leave

jadie who told you not to say good-bye
i know i was there but at least i tried
and i know back then you used to try
but now jadie please try to justify

jadie you were the witness
you were cursed but so damn blessed
i'm insane, i'm numb and deceitful
oh why did you ever find me so beautiful

jadie save yourself cause i will miss you
as heaven and earth feeds upon the truth
i'll be here waiting till you change your mind
jadie, if you ever change your mind


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