KELLYCAKES! (miss_atom) wrote in _iconate_,

[Caprica] You never should have taken my hand. (Amanda/Clarice)

Title: You never should have taken my hand.
Fandom: Caprica
Ship: Amanda Graystone/Clarice Willow
Rating: PG
Word Count: 516.
Summary: Eventually, when time has past, when the dust has settled, they will reflect. On a trust so easily given and so easily betrayed.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. :(
Notes: Written for the fandomverse big bang theme Trust. I am normally not a big fanfic writer, firstly because I have an inability to write an ending to anything I begin and secondly because it's daunting to try and capture a character that people already know so well. Saying that you have to do three different things for the challenge and I thought 'Why not?'

Clarice watched over Amanda. God had sent her to that bridge to save her - she was the guardian of this fragile, broken woman.

She had been here for four days now. Waiting, watching, praying. The room was bright, white and oppressive. She feared for Amanda; trapped forever, lost in the sharp edges of her mind. Daniel was there too, sometimes, when the early morning sun touched her hair. He would sit, pace, stand, Clarice knew he was troubled; the weight of his conscience heavy, his work obsessive, he had lost so much. All Clarice saw was the rotten core of the Graystone family.

She was there when Amanda opened her eyes, blinking with confusion.

“Clarice?” Was the first word through her dry lips.

“I’m here. You’re all right. She squeezed Amanda’s limp hand tightly.

Later, when Amanda was discharged with her few belongings in hand, she smiled cautiously into the sunlight. Clarice stepped reassuringly beside her.

“Thank you.” She slipped her hand into Clarice’s. “For being my friend.” She squeezed tightly.

Clarice only smiled. Regret and betrayal burned in her throat.


“Sometimes I think you’re the only person I can talk to.”

“Tell me everything.”

Clarice faltered, the truth pushed against her chest. It wasn’t Amanda’s time to know.

“Things can be so complicated.” Was all she offered. She could have confessed, she could have lied, she could have told Amanda how beautiful she was, damp and unkempt. A relation, a deflection, a desire.

Amanda said nothing.

“Sometimes things are different than they seem.” She tried. One day she would tell Amanda that God tests us and we should not be afraid to succeed. “Some people aren’t who they seem.” Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. She felt herself falling, her resolve breaking. “I just don’t know why.”

“Shhh…” Amanda slipped to her knees in front of Clarice. “I’m here. It’s all right.” She lied taking Clarice’s hands into her own.

“Thank you, for being my friend.”

Amanda only smiled. Things could never be the same for either of them.


One’s life had crumbled to the foundation, while the other’s had been reborn from silicone and wires.

Eventually, when time has past, when the dust has settled, they will reflect. On a trust so easily given and so easily betrayed.

They will think of each other. Clarice as she preaches to humanity’s children, as she stoops to her knees for the Holy Mother. Amanda as she stokes her daughters virtual hair, as she strokes her daughter’s synthetic hair.

The hate and anger will never be forgiveness, the world will burn before either could grant that to the other. Amanda dreams of her brother and Clarice dreams of ash. They will never see each other again but the marks left on there skin will remain.

They changed each other. They changed the humanity. No chorus of angels rejoiced.

Previous Big Bang things:

Tags: amanda/clairce, big bang, caprica, challenge, fandomverse, fanfic

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