Conversations with a Plant

I recently planted a sunflower seed. The plant is about five or six inches high now, so I figure I can start talking to it.


Me: Ya know what I like about you? You're not gonna bother me. You'll be the type of friend that'll just let me unload about the day I had or the problems I'm facing. Yeah... I like that about you.


Plant: ...

Me: Yep! And you don't even ask much of me! Well, you don't really ask anything of me. I just water you every now and then.


Plant: ...

Me: About that! How often am I supposed to do that anyway? I mean, I water you and you complain (well, I assume that drooping down is "complaining"). I don't water you, and you complain! Why don't you just let me handle it? I'll tell YOU how much water you need. I'm the human here...

Plant: ...

Me: I went to school! I took biology! I know how to raise a flower! What do YOU know about botany!?

Plant: A WHOLE HELLUVA LOT MORE THAN YOU!!!

Me: ...
van batsignal

(no subject)

How do cars get into the inside of a mall?
Ever wonder when you can win a Ford Explorer or a Toyota Hybrid when you walk through the malls?
How do they get there?? Who drives them in?
  • Current Mood
    confused confused

Bizzaro World?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like everyone hates you for no reason?
You can start off a conversation asking someone how they've been and in no time they're calling you a "stupid son of a bitch"??

I did.