ireadthenews (ireadthenews) wrote in _hsww_,

Daily Prophet News Update

The Ministry of Magic has issued a new set of Hogwarts student laws. With rumours spreading about the Dark Lord's return and the students in a panic, Headmistress Dolores Umbridge has taken it upon herself to help reduce stress among the students. As for the Dark Lord's return, Dolores Umbridge assures that no such thing will occur, and that these are merely rumours. "The new laws put into effect immediately will assure students that they are safe", Umbridge is quoted saying. She is the co-writer, along with Cornelius Fudge himself. They read as follows: 

« I. The Ministry of Magic henceforth declares no Hogwarts student shall be allowed to practise any sort of Magic unsupervised unless given specific permission to do so by Headmistress Dolores Umbridge.
« II. The Ministry of Magic henceforth declares that the following classes shall be terminated as of today: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Divination and Care of Magical Creatures.
« III. The Ministry of Magic henceforth declares that no spell, charm, potion or otherwise, that may be used in defense against the dark arts shall be taught, practised or otherwise.
« IV. The Ministry of Magic henceforth declares NEWT level exams will no longer include Defense Against the Dark Arts.
« V. The Ministry of Magic henceforth declares the House Cup competition to be cancelled, and Quidditch matches to be cancelled until moderations of teams are made.
Signed, Dolores Umbridge, Headmistress
Cornelius O. Fudge, Minister of Magic

When asked about the new laws, one student replied "I think theyre wonderful, taking off those classes really takes a lot of unecessary stress off, especially having to worry about working with those vicious animals in Care of Magical Creatures..." So it seems another success at improving life for Hogwarts students is awarded to Headmistress Umbridge, bravo!
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