Log in

No account? Create an account
Spike and Buffy action's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Spike and Buffy action

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Thursday, May 26th, 2005 @ 6:13pm]

I guess I fell asleep, because I woke up to look over and see Spike lying next to me. I tried to sit up. I wasn't exactly sure when I had fallen asleep. I smiled, looking over at him. He was sleeping soundly next to me. I ran my finger up and down his arm, part of me hoping he would wake up, but the rest of me not wanting him to;wanting to just watch him sleep.

I layed myself back down and snuggled up next to him again. I closed my eyes, and the whole night so far replayed in my head. It all felt so weird. Like here I was, a total wreck, then Spike comes along, just at the right time, and boom. Here we are, together. Some part of me still can't believe this is actually happening.

I sighed, still running my fingertip up and down his arm.

(( open to spike :D ))
6 held mees | Hold me

[Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005 @ 4:53am]

“Sorry to hear that luv. Must get pretty lonely being all by yourself, you were always the type to be surrounded by others. Well, inside you cut yourself off but from appearance you had them around. That’s why I could never get to you when I was bad. Couldn’t kill a bloody slayer with friends and family the way you had it.” I grinned as I thought of the old days. Who would’ve thought the things would’ve came out the way they did. So much has changed since them. Even the little bit was gone now.

Then she mentioned the idea of me and her being here together. “Sure I wouldn’t make your life that much harder” I said in a joking tone. It was nice hearing her say stuff like that. Still couldn’t believe what was happening. And now she wanted me to follow her up to her room.

“If you insist” I said in a sigh, but quickly flashed a smile. Couldn’t help but be in this strange mood that I was. I was doing that thing humans do, jumping for joy inside. Couldn’t bloody help it the things that slayer did to me. Made me feel alive again, almost made it feel as if my heart was skipping. Wished it was, couldn’t bare the thought now that I would be around for eternity and she would someday be gone. Not that I should think of such at a time like this. Now was a time to be glad for what I had. Me be glad for what I had, almost sounded strange thinking that way. Never had anything I wanted before, yet now here I was with her, the only one I ever fully loved.

I knew everything bout that slayer, or most. Saw the best and worst of her and still I loved her. That had to say something didn’t it. Even allowed her to toss me around like a rag doll and still I loved her. She was my world my everything. Yea, sure it sounds strange a vampire in love with a slayer. The slayer being his world. Well, now I was a vampire with a soul, guess that made more sense. Yet I loved her before then. I loved her when I was still bad, when I still wanted to kill for blood. Guess the William inside of me never fully died.

He was always still part of me, especially now. But even without the soul love was the thing I craved more then anything. And to think, they say vampires aren’t suppose to have emotions or feelings that they have no soul. We’re just suppose to be some big bad evil guy walking around in the middle of the night. But I was different, I craved for what I couldn’t have, for what I wasn’t suppose to have. Even the judge noticed it, said Dru and I wrecked of humanity. The shy, loving poet inside of me never fully died that night. Part of him always remained inside of me.

I followed her up to her room. On the way I checked out the rest of the house, place wasn’t too bad. Nothing like the old place but it was still good. Still can’t believe Sunnydale went down with me. Never would’ve thought that, can still remember that first day there. I crashed into the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign and stumbled out of my car. Ah those where the days. Somehow I knew, I had this feeling more would come to me from this town then sought out. And that it did.

“Nice place you got here Summers. Miss the old place at all” I’m sure part of her would for all the memories that she once had there, yet I could think of many bad memories she wouldn’t want to have anymore. But that place was part of us, part of her still. I could see it still inside of her, that place called Sunnydale was what made us who we are. Changed our lives forever.
21 held mees | Hold me

[Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005 @ 4:16am]

Crazy the way life can change. One minute I’m saving the world making a grand entrance. And the next well I’m in front of Angel in a office. Once again I fought the good fright right down to the grand finally. Yet this time I lived. Didn’t go out like before. I was beaten up. In blood stained cloths but I was still around. And now I was standing in front of the place Buffy was. I got a tip from a slayer back in LA about the whereabouts of Buffy. Figured I’d check it out. I wondered what happened to Angel. The last I saw he was fighting off a demon. Ugly sucker he was.

I take a deep breath as I begin to walk forward. Even if the slayer was in there she wouldn’t talk to me. She didn’t even know I was around. Unless Angel her and told her.

I glanced down at what I was wearing. I couldn’t show up looking like this. Especially since the last she was of me was me going out a hero. Quickly I turn around and start to walk away. What was I doing. Why did I come here? Was I looking for some sort of comfort. I guess this was the only place I knew to go. Never liked Angel much. Plus didn’t know where the bloody ‘ell he was. If he wasn’t dusted.

Once again I stop and face the place. Maybe I should just hide out a couple of nights. Watch the slayer and her friends. See what she’s up to. See if she has anyone. I knew it would be hard to see Buffy again. Especially after she said “I love you” to me. She only said it cause she knew I was about to be dusted, if only she wouldn’t have, then this wouldn’t be so bloody hard. At least right now I still had that, I had that “I love you” from her. If I saw her now she would take it away. Tell me that she didn’t mean it.

Could bare the thought of that. She was all I bloody thought about while in LA, I just couldn’t, couldn’t go to her. Not yet. Still can’t. Can’t face her, can’t let her turn me away again. Just can’t bloody do it. What I have now is good, the memory of her choosing me to be her champion. The memory of her telling me that she loved me. That’s the way it should stay. I turned around and started to walk away.
25 held mees | Hold me

[ viewing | most recent entries ]