Today is the day....
A bad habit, i once possessed
Picked up along the way,
Misunderstood tears and stares
But finally here lies the day.
To those that said "it's impossible"
You must find the strength inside
And what was once just a "bad habit"
Becomes a habit that died.
A bad habit, once held so tight
Giving it up seemed just words to say
Scars and disappointments once showed pain
But yet, finally, here lies the day.
I'm not pretending that it's easy
It sucks and life's not fair
But there's so many other ways
to cope.. i know, cause i've been there.
A bad habit, I once possessed
And picked back up along the way,
Now one hundred and thirty-six days later
Finally...the proof lies in today.
The proof that i can overcome that urge
Proves that you can too
You're not alone in your fight
There's so many alongside you.
A bad habit once may have shamed you
But you can throw it away
Make that choice, take back your life
It's time... here lies the day. Today marks 136 days of being SI free. This is a huge deal for me. It is one day past any record i've ever beaten since first starting to SI three years ago. It has been a HUGE battle. Actually, that doesn't even begin to describe it. Its almost, at times, seemed insurrmountable. So, when i say that i know what they mean when they say "you just don't how hard it is"... believe me, i do. I know because there's been nights where i've literally held that blade in my hand and prayed that god would just take my life, just so i wouldn't feel i had to cut again. Today, he shows me that not only can i do this; but i *will* *have* and *will continue* to succeed. Today i smile as i look back on all those nights of countless urges and had the will in me to say "no, not today. I can and WILL beat this." Most of all, today, i pray that so many others will find it within themselves.