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  meltingdoll
 
06:56am 12/12/2004
 
mood: blank
dear kerry,

you suck.

love,
me.

*
dear nader,

double-u tee eff.

sincerely,
her.

*
dear bush,

you suck major rectal areas. die.

-anonymous.
 
     


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To whom it may concern (or today's 8th graders): 
  xedd_inc
 
09:44pm 27/04/2004
  I fucking hate all* you goddamned motherfuckers.

That is all for now.
Thank you.

With much love,
Xedd Inc.

PS. You all* need a good swift kick in the head.




*A couple of you are okay. Kick the shit out of the fucktards for me.
 
     

The venting has started.There are 2 points of interest regarding this malice.
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  bustedcherry
 
08:03pm 26/02/2004
  Dear Mr. D.J.

My name is Kimberly, and I am a frequent club goer. A frequent club goer who enjoys dancing, particularly to songs and sets that, well, are good and don't inspire me to seek out fairy wings and twirl my way to a ceiling fan to jaggedly disassemble all parts of my body exposed to the music. Last night I was granted the delightful opportunity of witnessing you and your work first hand, and I would like to send you a sincere Thank You. Thank You for sucking the textured shit out of my crusty anus.

With love and a stinky fist,
Kimberly
 
     


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  fiercepixie
 
05:21pm 24/02/2004
  dear *** *********** shoe company:

i recently purchased a pair of boots from you, and indicated that they should be shipped to a location distinct from my billing address. because i am an attentive patron, i tracked the package and saw that it was being shipped to my billing address. i e-mailed you, and you promptly responded with apologies, and the promise that a second pair would be shipped to the correct address via 3-day priority service. apparently some 'new' person had been confused and thus the mistake was made.

i accepted your apology, and fortunately was able to arrange for the first package to be 'bounced' from my billing address.

imagine my delight when at last my boots arrived at the proper location, and i received them last thursday. words cannot describe the feeling i had being united with them at long last. the ferocity of the grip-treads, the little screws in the soles, the security and style of the buckles, the ease of the side-zipper. if i could have danced in them right there, i would have. in a word, those boots were 'home.'

i will never forget the weekend we shared together. we went to the store together. took a nap together. i even thought we were comfortable enough with eachother to go to a party on saturday night. sure enough, everyone was as impressed by them as i was. i was cinderella, and they were my glass slippers. truly they could be expressed in the lyrics: 'heaven in a place on earth.'

but all good things must come to an end.

sunday. the day of rest. of giving up. of dying.

as i sat in the wozq radio station, doing my first show of the year with my newfound companions, two friends came by and began to admire them, as expected. but something was not right. one asked me, 'are your boots supposed to do that?' i looked down.

and my world shattered.

how could such master craftsmanship...such solid form and practical functionality...be so ruined, so fast?

shock does not begin to describe how i felt. it was a betrayal. my boots, my HOME, in which i felt so invincible and safe at last, had betrayed me. after all we had done together, how fast we bonded in such short time. i was devastated.

dejected, i e-mailed you again. i knew i could exchange them, but dare i hope that my dearest loves were simply defective? how could i trust that the next pair would not just break my heart again?

but, life must go on. i have recovered, and agreed to put my heart on the line yet again. today i solemnly boxed up my former loves, now dead to me. the post office had no c.o.d. option, so i had to pay $12.30 for them to be shipped back to you as fast as possible, so that i may receive the next pair accordingly.

tonight, i begin my vigil. i have no reason left to hope...and yet, i do. call me foolish, but once such passion has been tasted i have no choice but to persevere.

i mean, if, after all of this heartache, the THIRD pair were to be problematic...i just don't know what i would do.

i mean really. what could i do?

i'm not the kind of person who hurts people out of vengence.

i mean, i don't want to fly out to san diego, look up everyone in your corporation and break into their apartments at night, smashing all of their kneecaps with a crowbar...

nor would i take particular interest in locating the sales associate i've been corresponding with and inserting needles into her eyelids and under her fingernails...

and i certainly wouldn't want to travel to china, where the shoes are manufactured, and release hoards of rabid baboons into the factory where the white overseers would be torn limb from limb and eaten alive...

never!

i'm just a girl who has been disenfranchised by her boots, and is seeking proportionate retributions.

i appreciate your assistance in this matter, and hope to receive my new pair soon.

sincerely,
rachel.

ps--are you religious folk? because right about now is when you should start praying.
 
     

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  xcobwebx
 
04:40am 24/02/2004
  to marlboro college:

im sure youre aware that this school has let me down several times thus far, both in terms of administration (such as the denial of my recent application for senior grant funds) and the student body (most are third millennium hippies with no sense of humor. and theyre all ugly.). but tonight, the biggest letdown concerning your school occurred, as you are inconsiderate bastards.

over the course of the evening, i sat down to watch por...i mean, sat down to do homework. and to prevent being disturbed by the odd passerby and being scared shitless, i locked my room door, and proceeded to.....'work.' i managed to forget that my door was locked, and went to bed after 'working' so hard. i woke up at 4:00 am to urinate, as i drank much gatorade before bedtime. it was the new green flavor, if that matters to you at all, you inconsiderate bastards.

when i returned to my door and attempted to re-enter my dorm room, the door was locked. i was forced to seek out others that would have a key at 4:00 am. i ran down the road to the science building, barefoot and with a stolen grey long sleeve shirt. i ran across sharp ice, jagged dirt, and unpleasant rocks. my feet hurt now. my future career as a track star is over thanks to you. youre lucky i dont sue you for every dime you are worth you inconsiderate bastards.

had i been reminded in some manner that my door was locked, perhaps using a speaker that repeatedly says "your door is locked!" at a loud volume, or even a midget trained and coerced into staring at the lock all day, i would not have been locked out of my room.

it is reprehensible and irresponsible for you to put locks on the doors to the dorm rooms when people cannot tell if they are locked aside from looking at them. you have yet to make them "fool-proof," because any fool can and will lock themselves out at all hours of the morning. this is absolutely unacceptable you inconsierate bastards. when i am 'working' i expect to be able to return to my room late at night and enter my room. what would happen if i wanted to 'work' out in the hallway? do you know how many would bother me, be upset, etc? and are YOU willing to pick up that tab? or will you simply pass the buck again, as you did with the holocaust? lets be honest with ourselves and the community: hitler funded this whole school. why else would there be so many volkswagens on campus?

also, why am i still forced to actually touch the toilet flusher by hand? why have you not provided up with a flushing wand? or, better yet, telepathy?

in short i am cancelling my subscription due to change of address and the fact that you are all inconsiderate bastards.

Pat Murdough
65 Pissed-off-at-Marlboro-College Road
Marlboro-college-sucks-ville, FU
 
     


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Maybe this'll give you an idea... 
  pyramus
 
09:41pm 17/02/2004
  Middling Sir,

Given your past record, you obviously have no problems with personal attacks. Therefore I thought I'd take a moment to let you know that most people think you are a no talent, mindless, hack. I felt it would be best for you to be informed of the fact that you continue to be one of the most negative forces in the known universe, churning out rancid venom, childish condescension, and unmitigated disgust toward everyone who doesn't offer you sex or money--or whatever else it is that you might like. Given the paramount situation, you and yours would achieve your long awaited encounter with Lucifer himself, limiting any further necessities for contact with the filth that is you.

Considerable loathing and animosity,

Dave X. Phelps
 
     


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Shit: it's new. 
  pyramus
 
07:23pm 17/02/2004
 
mood: optimistic
My hope for this community space is that you fine upstanding people will fill it with humorous accounts of your fictional(ized) hatred of something or someone. This space is here as not only a release but also an entertainment. Be sure to keep that air to it. Have fun and let your angst fly.
 
     


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