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misty rain

I'm only a mess of a girl

My eyelids are closing, my breathing is weak
I can't find the strength or the whisper to speak
Maybe I'm just dreaming, but light comes in peeks -
I'm only a mess of a girl.

My fingers are tapping, my toes won't stay still
I can't seem to stop dancing, I've lost all my will
Maybe I'm just dreaming, or maybe I'm ill -
I'm only a mess of a girl.

My lips won't stop laughing, my voice makes no sound
I can't find my balance, I can't touch the ground
Maybe I'm just dreaming, and maybe I've drowned -
I'm only a mess of a girl.

My heart won't stop shaking, my mind isn't clear
I can't find my thoughts and I can't seem to hear
Maybe I'm just dreaming, or maybe you're near -
I'm only a mess of a girl.
  • Current Music
    sleep spent - death cab for cutie
snow scene

Sanity.

This silence is pulling my soul from its bed,
Forcing to memory the hate that was dead
The pressure keeps building to pound in my head -
I wish that I knew I was sane.

This heartache is falling in streams from my eyes,
Smudging the blur that I call my disguise
And leaving small puddles for drowning my lies -
I wish that you thought I was sane.

This laughter is keeping me trapped in despair,
Bitterly trying to show that I care
But lacking all life in the smile I wear -
I wish I could prove I'm insane.
  • Current Music
    falling inside the black - skillet
misty rain

ladies and flowers

“You see, really and truly, apart from the things anyone can pick up (the dressing and proper way of speaking, and so on), the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.” - From Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion

I'm not a lady, to you,
Anymore than a rose could be a weed
or a swan a common fowl.
My beginnings were the dirt
And that same dirt you so despise
has given me the strength to stand,
Draped in rose -
with swans to revel in my beauty.
  • Current Music
    bring me flowers - hope
misty rain

Have you, darling?

Have you poisoned me, darling?
It seems that your heart is tainted,
wounded, perhaps.
Maybe a tad brittle,
As if it were left too long in
the unforgiving sun.

Have you shattered me, darling?
It seems that your mind is glowing,
rotting, perhaps.
Maybe a tad stale,
As if it were left too long in
your fermenting head.

Have you buried me, darling?
It seems that your words are strangled,
crippled, perhaps.
Maybe a tad bitter,
As if they were left too long in
your crumpling life.
  • Current Music
    headlights on dark roads - snow patrol
snow scene

I never thought

poemness. rather sad, and not at all what I wanted to write about...but that's what came out.


I wish I could do more than whisper your name
I wish I could breathe without feeling the shame
I wish I could lie and give up the blame -
I never thought that you'd take it this way.

I wish I could rip up that tedious letter
I wish I could throw out your comfyest sweater
I wish I could scream and that things would get better -
I never thought that it sounded this way.

I wish I could laugh at the memories I've found
I wish I could scatter this heartache around
I wish I could rewind and tear up old ground -
I never thought; so it ended this way.
  • Current Music
    never there - hoobastank