what is wrong with me?
heres my story:
two years ago, my friend started going out with this guy. He was soo nice and sweet and everyone was jealous of her.
They broke up, and the next year we liked each other for a while, but someone who i THOUGHT was my friend convinced him that I didn't like him, even though i did. So instead, he asked my best friend out. They dated for a few months and it really pissed me off because I still liked him. Then they broke up and we started going out. We were only together for a few weeks before he dumped me. I still liked him and he liked me, but when he asked me out again I said no because it was bothering me. Then school let out and I didn't see him until late July, when we hooked up. He said he really liked me but he didn't ask me out. He didn't tell me why. Then I had this huge party and he still liked me, but he met my best friend there and started to like her, even though they'd just met. His friend asked her out before he did, and i think he still liked me.
About a week later he called me and said he was moving, completely spontaneously. He would be gone, basically forever, in two weeks. I felt so horrible that I refused to think about it until the day before he left. He came to my house and we talked for a while, but it was really akward. I was still basically obsessed with him then, and I stayed that way, even after he moved.
Then he started calling me and saying the reason he didnt ask me out before is because he knew he was going to move and all this other stuff. He said he still liked me and he missed me a lot. He visited in October but I didn't get to see him. He's not visiting again until March.
I thought he liked me until about a week before he came to visit, when he started calling my best friend - his ex - and asking her if she would go out with him while he visited. She never answered him, and I was insanely jealous.
She didn't get to see him when he came, either.
For like a month and a half after he went back, he called me every day. He hasn't called me in about three weeks, and i'm not going to call him. I used to think I would never get over him, and then I did.
I'm just so mad that I let myself get that attached to one person. When he left, it felt like my world fell apart, and I was no one without him.
There were just so many things I never had the chance to say. I confessed everything right before he stopped calling me and He didn't seem surprised.
I HATE HIM now because I heard from one of my guy friends that he was saying really mean shit about me. I can't believe I was so obsessed. I hate him.
he really broke my heart.
The thing is, I've tried to tell my best friend, and she won't hear it.
Everyone I go to doesn't understand/tells me to get over him.
And I was.
I was actually relieved he stopped calling, because I was near the point of telling him to.
I've been thinking about him like crazy and I dont know why. Other guys have liked me this year but I don't care at all, because none of them are like him, there's no one the same, no one I could ever want as much.
I wish this could stop hurting.
every day I feel stupid for buying into all of his shit after everyone told me the truth about him.
I've been thinking about this one guy who everyone says likes me, and I might like.
But the thing is, I don't know. I mean, i want to find someone who can make me feel the way he did, but I can't.
Theres no one else like him in the world.
and dealing with that is so much more difficult than it is to lie and tell people no, I don't think about him, and yes, i regret everything.
its so much harder than it is to tell people i dont care.