Eva (purpleandsilver) wrote in _getoffmychest,
Eva
purpleandsilver
_getoffmychest

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I'm finally going to post what is making me so angry. Usually I have time to cool off and then I make my problems seem stupid to myself and then I do not rant, cry, yell or anything to really resolve the issue inside of me.
My father angers me.
It started out when I got home. I spent the night over a friends house and when I got home my mom informed that dad was in a rare form. He often turns into a woman and takes on the symptoms of PMS. He is irritable, snappy, and just cruel. She said that since I couldn't babysit my brother last night that dad said I should start paying room and board since I don't do any chores around the house. This is a completely unfair statement. He was only angry because he wanted to go out with my mom but I made plans first. They could have gotten a baby sitter. In the past three years of high school I have never really gone out with friends I stayed home. So the one night when he cant get his way he pouts like a little girl. And I do chores. Who makes the coffee for you every night? Who puts away all the dishes? Who feeds the cats outside? Me! I do my own laundry and I do all my school homework, which is a lot since I am in three AP classes this year. He cant understand why I'm always doing homework. Maybe it is because I have hard classes with ridiculous amounts of homework.
So I came home to that.
Later I was working in the kitchen nook on my ceramics piece. My mom and brother had gone across the street and my dad was painting the basement. (He's only painting it because he is starting his own band and it would have never been done if he wasn't. Also he is stresses out because he has to tell one of his friends that he cant be in the band. But dad doesnt have the balls to say this so he takes out his anger on anyone around him!) I had to make slip for my project so that was a really messy project. There was clay everywhere, but I was going to clean it up. I finished my piece and called dad up to look at it. He took a while and when he say it he was like, "What's it suppose to be?" Not every ceramic piece has to "be" something. So he's like it just abstract then. Then he sits down on the booth and starts yelling at me about having the clay on the table. "You should be working on newspaper!" How in the hell do you roll out clay on newspaper? Then I got angry and told him that the majority on the table was from when my piece fell on its side and I had to redo a whole side! He huffs and chastises me some more. Now I know I'm filled with pride and I cant take it when someone is yelling at me. I get snappy and talk back. He storms off downstairs and I slammed the kitchen door. My mom comes home, she comments on the mess. I ask her to look at my piece and she does but then all she says is, "I'm going over to Kathy's house. Be home later." What the hell? I tell her that her wheel thrown bowls are nice! I comment on them! She didnt even say anything. I worked hard but whatever.
This is what is making me upset and causing me to cry. I hate crying.

Ian gets away with anything because he is daddy's little boy. I want to go far away for college.
I do not plan on talking to my father for the rest of the night and tomorrow.
Unfortunately that is not how it works. The anger dissolves and none of us ever tell each other how we feel never resolving the problem and setting me up for emotional problems in the future.

I'm still upset.
But this helped a little.
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