Mel (joanisme08) wrote in _getoffmychest,

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I shouldn't have got my hopes up. -__-

Yesterday, one of my friends (W) invited me to go roller blading with her and some friends at 7pm today.  She was supposed to get back to me today about whether or not we were still going.  She said she'd call me.

So about 8:00pm today she and one of my other friends (H) call my cell from the skating place and ask where I am and if I'm coming.  I told them I was still at home because W never got back to me about whether or not they were still going.  I didn't want to show up and then find out it'd been canceled.  I pointed out that there was no use in going now because it's a half hour drive and they're only there until 9:00.

I'm sitting here failing at trying to fight back tears.  It may seem like I'm over reacting but all day today I've felt lonely, depressed, and bored.  I was looking forward to seeing my friends.  When I didn't hear from W by 7 I figured it'd been canceled and I was a bit disappointed but I got over it.  Then they had to f*ing call me like they did! They know it takes me 30min to drive there.  W lives by me!  Why the heck would they call me at 8!  So now I know that a bunch of my friends are having fun skating without me and I could've gone but they forgot to tell me.

I keep going back and forth between being mad at them and being mad at myself.  I could've gone at 7!  I should've gone at 7!  I'm mad at myself for not going.  On the other hand, W was supposed to call me back about it and she didn't.  Both W and H had the nerve to call me when they know (or should know) that I can't come now.  I'm so tempted to call them back and scream at them.  That's a bad idea though and I know it.  It would just cause drama and I don't want drama.  I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose.  I'm just disappointed and sad.  I felt like I had to do something to get my aggravation out though so I ended up beating myself up.  What did that accomplish?  Well, not much but it stopped me from taking it out on my friends and it somewhat wore me out.

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