So about 8:00pm today she and one of my other friends (H) call my cell from the skating place and ask where I am and if I'm coming. I told them I was still at home because W never got back to me about whether or not they were still going. I didn't want to show up and then find out it'd been canceled. I pointed out that there was no use in going now because it's a half hour drive and they're only there until 9:00.
I'm sitting here failing at trying to fight back tears. It may seem like I'm over reacting but all day today I've felt lonely, depressed, and bored. I was looking forward to seeing my friends. When I didn't hear from W by 7 I figured it'd been canceled and I was a bit disappointed but I got over it. Then they had to f*ing call me like they did! They know it takes me 30min to drive there. W lives by me! Why the heck would they call me at 8! So now I know that a bunch of my friends are having fun skating without me and I could've gone but they forgot to tell me.
I keep going back and forth between being mad at them and being mad at myself. I could've gone at 7! I should've gone at 7! I'm mad at myself for not going. On the other hand, W was supposed to call me back about it and she didn't. Both W and H had the nerve to call me when they know (or should know) that I can't come now. I'm so tempted to call them back and scream at them. That's a bad idea though and I know it. It would just cause drama and I don't want drama. I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose. I'm just disappointed and sad. I felt like I had to do something to get my aggravation out though so I ended up beating myself up. What did that accomplish? Well, not much but it stopped me from taking it out on my friends and it somewhat wore me out.