Lee (salviblood) wrote in _from_within_,

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Name: Lee
Age: 19
Sex: Female
Location: W.Orange, NJ
Status(single,dating,married....): Permanent incarceration, er... um engaged

Are you in school? (High School, College...) Yes, College. Gibbs College, for graphic design.

Do you have an occupation? Graphic Design Intern

If you could have chosen your own first name, other than your current one, what would it be? Why? Sascha. I know it's a male's name, but here in the states it's used for either gender and I've always been quite fond of the name. The name itself means 'defender' and varies from language to language.

What are your hobbies? Playing/Watching soccer, drawing, reading, attempting to write poetry, making an ass of myself with friends on the weekend, traveling, photography, rcge research, etc

What makes you happy? My fiance, drawing, playing soccer all day long, wandering around in the reservation by my house, a good political debate, sour skittles, slinkies, driving around aimlessly

What is your biggest pet peeve? Why? PEepL WhO TYpe LYk DiS. There are plenty of other things in life that annoy me but most cross over the line of 'pet peeve'. This however, just annoys me on a lower level. I can understand occasional typos and errors in grammar, because we aren't all perfect and don't always see every error. But the people who intentionally type like that, are just insipid. Honestly, what's the point of typing in manner in which it's hard to read and understand what you've written?

What do you believe is your place in life? Why? I think my place in life is to cause unsettlement in the lives of others. And I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm not going around setting off firecrackers or cursing out random people. I do however, constantly challenge people's views on issues and ideals. If I disagree with someone's opinion on an issue or topic I enjoy starting a debate over it with them. I like to see where people come from, and I like them to see where others come from. A lot of times debates do get rather aggressive and sometimes people leaved steamed, but I think in the end it's good. I've been exposed to other opinions, and so have they. Even on minor scales, I've done this kind of thing since I was little and it definitely seems weird when I try to stop myself from doing. I guess it's just my thing.

What do you like the most about yourself? Why? My artistic ability. It's been one of the few constants in my life and probably always will be. I can screw up all I want, I can dress nicely or like a bum, I can twist and contort myself inside and out. But the way I draw and work with my programs will never change, evolve into something better with time but never really change.

What do you dislike the most about yourself? Why? My aggression. Part of it's the way I was raised, but a lot more of it is the mania from being bipolar. I'm overly aggressive when I get irritated and the way I act because of it isn't something I'm usually particularly proud of.

Where do you hope to be in 10 years? Out of school with my BA (at least), and settled in with some company I enjoy working for, at least to some degree. I'll be 29 then, so I hope to have the beginnings of a family and home (large apartment, but hopefully a house). I'd also like to think that at that time I'd would have begun having saved some money from working to start putting aside for later in life too.

Do you have a role model? If so, who is it? Why? My friend Sabio. I don't know how he does it but he just takes everything life hands to him in stride. He brushes everything off his shoulders and smiles everyday despite the things he's gone through. He defends himself from those who would cause him harm, and when it's all over and done with he holds no animosity towards them for what they have or would have done. It seems to me he excels at everything he tries, or at least pushes himself to a point where he does. In every little aspect he is someone I want to be like, he's a very strong man and I admire him greatly.

What has been your single greatest accomplishment? Explain. I think that would have to be getting engaged. I know it's not something extraordinary, anyone can do it but at the same time it's a lot more complicated than that. Of the billions of people in this world I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person who makes me the happiest and loves me more than anyone else. I believe that actually finding that one person out of all the people that are out there is a pretty good accomplishment.

What has been your biggest disappointment in life? Why? I'd like to say not being accepted to the college I wanted to go to, or not trying harder to help keep my folks together when they divorced. Something like that, but I think it's really all going to circulate around me ex. I tolerated his abuse, physical and emotional, for far longer than I ever should have. He made me a hypocrite to anything I ever said to anyone else and I let him treat in a manner less than what I deserved. Even worse, because of him I thought less of myself too. I've gotten over him, and I've got over that time in my life but the fact that I allowed it to ever happen makes it one of the biggest disappointments in my life.

What do you hope to accomplish in your life? Explain. I want to end my family's inane ideals with my parent's generation. Interracial dating isn't taboo, Christianity doesn't have to be the right path, there's nothing with being gay because it's normal, light skin does not mean you're better nor does dark skin mean someone is a criminal. Things like that have been present in my family (the Slavic side at least) to some degree for as long as any of us can remember. I can't change the world, I can however stop pointless family ideals and that's a start.

If you were to be guaranteed one thing in life besides money, what would you ask for? Why? To die before my fiance, and well then husband. I guess it's an odd thing to ask for but in the end, I don't think I'd want to go through life after he was gone. Personally, I just don't think I'd ever be strong enough to deal with it, and I know I'd die happy knowing that the last thing I probably would see would be him.

If you could have been told one thing that you weren't told while you were younger, what would you like to have heard? Explain. Don't ever stop fighting. Too many points in my life I've been tempted to or have walked away from things. It's something we all do or have done at some point in our lives, and we just don't think about them until later on. If something was ever worth fighting for to begin with, fight for it until the bitter end.

If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you have wanted to see? Why? Seeing the pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock. My great (x13) grandfather was Governor Bradford of the Mayflower, and I'd love to see what he and the rest of my family that were there actually looked like. No where on this side of the family do we have any accurate depictions, truthfully there may not have been any but still.

If you could spend one year looking for one thing in the world, what would you search for? Why? A big blue butterfly. I know it's weird, but when I was little there were these huge blue butterflies in Okinawa and I always tried so hard to catch them, but never could. They insisted on always flying just out of reach, as if to torment me. Anyway, they're only in the elevated mountain areas and they aren't particularly common to come across. Even if it took me a whole year, I just want to find and catch one of those butterflies for once. They're so beautiful, and evil... always flying out of reach.

What is your stance on religion? Explain. Ultimately, each to their own. All religions in the world have good and bad aspects, and things that fit with the culture and people they pertain to. I think that it's good that everyone believe in something in their life, but what it is should be up to them to decide. I don't think a religion should completely dictate one's life or be allowed to influence others around them, then it just becomes an infraction against the will of others.

If you could ask (INSERT NAME OF HIGHER POWER YOU BELIEVE IN) any single question, what would it be? Explain. Hmm, I have combined views of several religions/spiritualities. I suppose I should just select the most prominent then? If I could ask Buddha any single question it would most likely be "With some of the people present in this world, how did you ever uphold your beliefs?" There are just times in life where I'd love to just deck someone rather than take the higher road and ignore them. I wonder if Buddha ever just got so irritated, tempted, disheartened, or anything that he went against his own teachings and beliefs.

How do you feel about war? Explain. Sometimes its an necessary evil. I don't like war in general, just because there's so much loss of life and destruction. But sometimes it's just necessary, people need to be able to defend themselves for attacks or invasion. Sometimes debates and negotiations just don't work, and differences need to be settled. Whatever the reason, it's a horrible thing but sometimes it is justifiable.

If you learned tomorrow that you were being permanently exiled from your country and could only take 3 things, what would they be? Why? My portfolio, my best friend's hoodie, and photo album. I don't ever leave my portfolio anywhere, it's a collection of the things I think I do best in life. My photo album I'd bring just because I'd like to be able to see my friends and family, and the memories that are captured in them. And my friend's hoodie, because it's always been a source of comfort. I wear it, or curl up and sleep with it when I'm not feeling at the top of my game.

Can money buy happiness? Why or why not? I don't think so, I think all the things one needs in life to be truly happy aren't obtainable with money. You can't by love, you can't by a family, you can't by real friends, you can't buy a status in life, only fake things and possessions.

If you had to name the book from your childhood that had the biggest influence on you, what book would it be? Why? Aww... I don't remember the title but it was a Dr. Seuss book, and it was about these people that weren't getting along because half of them put butter on the top of their toast, and the others on the bottom of their toast. They had a huge wall that separated themselves from one another, and they fought with each other. It was a really silly book, but it shows you that petty differences aren't bad things that should separate us.

If you had to define the word beauty by giving an example, how would you do it? Explain. A flower. It starts off as merely a seed, it growns into a plain green plant, eventually it produces buds that aren't always the most aesthetically pleasing things. And eventually, it blooms. It produces beautiful things from simplicity. Something that wasn't so different from everything around it is perfectly capable of producing something wonderful. I think that's beauty.

How would you define the word love in a few simple words? A force in life that's both beautiful and destructive.

If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would you change? Why? There's more important things out there, but personally I'd have the whole immigration process changed/modified. There's so many problems surrounding it and it seems that everyone's answer is to always just strengthen or close our borders. People should take a look at the actual process, papers, restrictions, and what not and they might understand why there's so many problems with it. The whole process, from beginning to start. People are trying to get better lives for themselves and their families and they should be allowed to do so. And we do keep tabs on the people who come here so it's not like we can't warn or eventually kick out the people who end up just sitting in our welfare lines.

If you could have permanent possession of any single object in the world, what would you want it to be? Why? An F-16. I dunno, I just think it would be awesome to own a craft capable of breaking Mach 2, even though I'd probably never be able to fly it. It sure would be great to say it was mine, though where I would put it is the problem.

If you could teach your children only one lesson in life, what would it be? That what people say isn't always what they mean. Hypocrisy is dangerous thing sometimes, people in society seem to have a real knack at saying they believe in or are for something, but when the time arises they never back it up, or end up doing the opposite of it. People get hurt from it, on minor and major levels.

Do you have any special talents? If so, what are they? I can dislocate my jaw! Okay, well that's more like a freaky abnormality than a talent. Eh, I think I draw pretty damn well and I great with photo manipulations in photoshop. Among other programs and traits that run with those two things.

If you could switch places with anyone, who would it be? Why? Hmm, I think Oliver Kahn. He's the goalie for Germany's national soccer team. I don't really enjoy the position he plays but I'd love to be able to play a game with that team, I think it would just be so exhilarating. And at the same time I could be one of the best goalies to have ever played, along side with one of strongest teams out there.

What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you? Call me a liar. I know that sounds really insignificant, but that's just one moment that I think I'll carry with me for a long time. Backround around it so that it doesn't seem so insignificant (or at least I hope not): Came out of an abusive relationship a year and change ago, but in the tail end of it my boyfriend had become publicly abusive. He hit me once in school in front of my friends, and I went running off to seek comfort in close friend. At which point she looked me in the eyes and told me to stop making up lies, because my boy would never have done that. Yea, that was wonderful and entire world of witnesses but I was the liar. Eh, past is past but it still hurts sometimes.

What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? Explain. Meeting my best friends, Xavier and Javier. They're are the constant factors in my life, always have been and always will be. I know that no matter what I do in life, they will never think any less of me or treat me differently (and vice versa of course). There always the best answer to anything I need in life, and they've proven this time and time again. At this point in time, I can't really think of anything being better than having encountered them.

What is the best piece of advice anyone ever told you? "Just because you're a girl, doesn't mean you can't hit someone." My step-father told me that a loooooong time ago, when I was much younger. I've always been taught its best to try and solve things verbally, and I truly believe that, but sometimes people just need to have some common sense knocked into them. And that I don't need a man to be there to defend me, that I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. But mainly that knowing how to fight, and actually fighting never made me any less of a woman for it, I don't need to be stereotypical image to prove anything.

What was the last good book you read? Why? Cirque du Freak, book 9. It's the latest in the series at the moment. I really enjoy the series, it gives a different twist on creatures of the night than hollywood and other fiction does. It's very well written, and overall it's just a good series.

What was the last good movie you watched? Constantine. A lot of people didn't seem to enjoy this movie but I really loved it. Aside from the graphics used, which were awesome at some points, I loved the twisted story behind it. In my freetime I study various religions, and the movie twisted quite a few stories and ideals into it's plot, and I was fascinated by them.

Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it? Algo siempre me entristece, cuando todo va bien. Roughly in English it means "something always saddens me, when everything goes well." Depressing aspect aside I've related to this for a long time, I can be in the best spirits and suddenly be brought down into an abysmal depression for no reason (or an unconscious reason). A lot of it would be my manic depression, but that aside I've liked the quote and it always fit.

What makes you "you"? Hmm... spikes and chains, a constant sugar high, wander lust, the dance one does after walking into a spider web, a cell phone that's surgically attached, a love for shiny/sparkly objects, a love of horror and thriller flicks, headphones that never leave my ears, a bag full of sketch books and pencils, baggy pants, a permanent lack of tan, sarcastic humor, strange aggression, and a military brat backround. Yea, that's the stuff that makes me "me."

How did you find us? Someone who applied to one of the communities I'm in had you all listed under this same question.

Why did you take the time to fill out this survey? Aside from finding the community interesting, this survey was definitely different than most others I've encountered. I found it really fun to fill out, so I did.

  • (no subject)

    I'm leaving too. I guess it should be self explanitiry. No reason to stay when nothing is happening. Later Days, AnGeL

  • Bye!

    Well gang I am going....It was nice while it lasted, but it is time for me to leave.

  • MIA for a bit

    Hurricane Dennis is coming to demolish the panhandle of Florida. Unfortunatly, that is where I live. Plus, I live in this small town called shalimar…

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