x__i_heart_bert (x__i_heart_bert) wrote in _fineb_,
x__i_heart_bert
x__i_heart_bert
_fineb_

A Few Things

Alright.

First. We have a new layout.
Just thought that I would let you all know.

Second. Heather and I have decided that we NEED to get this community going. We worked hard to get it started. We don't want it to die like this.
Sooooo
We want you guys to promote.
Please.
Post in promoting communities or communities you are already in.
Or have some of your friends join.
We have 5 auto accepts left.
Kay?

Third. We also decided that we will have a banner making contest. So, make all the banners you want and post them. The contest will last til the 25th of this month. Just have fun with it. :)

Fourth. Heather and I will be in California from April 1st to (I believe) April 8th. Just to let you all know. I think Heather has who will run this under control.

So everyone.
PLEASE!
Let's try to make this community come back to life.
okay?
Just post whatever.
Something funny.
Doesn't really matter.
Thank you


Heckle Me Harder

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It's because of you that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."

"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"


The Eve of Creation

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?" God asks her.

"Lord," she says, "I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples," she says.

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you," the good Lord tells her.

"What's a 'man', Lord?" she inquires.

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressivetendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" she asks.

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

Alright, those weren't THAT funny, but I can't find a whole lot of good ones at the moment


Sharayah
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