chikenmcnuggets (chikenmcnuggets) wrote in _feel_infinite_,
chikenmcnuggets
chikenmcnuggets
_feel_infinite_

She is my best friend.  And she makes me feel infinite because she is one of the only people in the world that can make me smile without having to do a single thing.

But at the same time...she makes me seethe with jealousy.  She is everything I've ever wanted to be.  She has the looks, the wit, the singing voice.  Guys fall at her feet hoping she would notice them.  She is the subject of many poems and songs written at my school.  Guys constantly get at me to get at her.  I'm always the one they ask for advice for because I'm her best friend.  I'm the one who reads their poems and songs and has to listen to the reasons why she's so incredible. I see the way they look at her and I see the way other girls envy her.  Yet she is one of the most fickle, insecure girls I have ever met.  She turns away guys like one would turn away a leper, yet complains that no guy would ever date her or like her.  She laments that she's ugly and will never be beautiful enough.  She excels in the things I hold dear without even trying.  She's always been able to take the things that define me and do them better.  She's always been able to write better poetry, write better stories, make better music, get all the acting roles I want.  All without trying.  Just today, she didn't even have to audition and she got the role that I wanted.  She was seen and picked and that was that.  She's always been picked for the better roles and I'm never given a chance.  They see her before they even notice me.

She is my best friend.  And I love her more than anyone because she's always been there for me.  She's never done a thing to hurt me; not on purpose, at least.  And she makes me feel infinite...but takes it away all at the same time...
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