When I saw this earlier i thought OMG this'll be great for the post-match spam on _fcbarcelona_... But OH WAIT.
So Barcelona just won against MILAN AC and there's not even a little wee bit of a match-spam? SMH guise. S.M.H. So I'm just gonna leave this here ok XD Just a quick note: it's equally hilarious and creepy, so enter at your own risk XDDD

XAVI HERNÁNDEZ IS
"THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS WHO KEPT SAYING NO"










In the Milan AC - FC Barcelona post-match interview Nando The Reporter was conducting with Adriano Galliani (MIlan AC's vice-president and CEO)...suddenly Xavi popped up.

Translation of the vid below:

Annoying Studio Journalist: The clubs who have been confirmed as top of their groups are Real Madrid, Inter – which, of course, Milan will not face in the round of 16 – Bayern München, Barcelona – which, again, Milan will not be facing in the round of 16 – and Arsenal…
Galliani: Wait, wait, I have something to propose first… since right here with me there’s the Barcelona player who was better than anybody else tonight – and it’s not Messi – it’s Xavi. I’ll just leave you guys with him, who’s way more interesting than me.
Studio Journalist: No, no! Wait, wait wait!!!
Nando (the reporter standing between Xavi and Galliani): No, I think Galliani should conduct the interview himself… [turns to Xavi] So, Xavi…
Annoying studio journalist (keeps yelling shrilly like an idiot): Nando! Nando wait! Nandooooo!
Nando: We wanted our president here to..
Annoying studio journalist: Nando! NANDO!
Nando: Yes, what?
Annoying studio journalist: Before you move on to Xavi…
Nando: I’m not moving on to him, I’m trying to interview both at the same—
Annoying studio journalist: Ask Galliani if it’s true that he made Xavi sign a contract for Milan but then [Xavi’s] mum changed her mind?
Galliani: No, I’ve never met his mom. I did meet his dad though. I already knew he was a great player back then [O RLY], he was 19 at the time. I was always a bit into him [ughhh] You know, like those women you’re really into but you can never quite seduce [ok STOP IT. #ew]
Annoying studio journalist: Well, you can kiss him now!
Galliani: Nah, it’s too late now to kiss him, the moment’s passed. [=_=]
Nando [in broken Spanish tries to explain the conversation to Xavi]: They were proposing that you two kiss because…. He once talked to your father….but then nothing came of it.
Xavi: No, no, well, I wanted to succeed at Barcelona, I’ve been culé since I was a little kid… Obviously, I was incredibly flattered that Mr. Galliani came to speak with my father to try and sign me for Milan. I will always thank him for that, truly, a club like Milan, historically among the best clubs in the world, that they’d want [me], that they’d…
Galliani [laughs, puts his hand up].
Nando [in Italian to the audience]: He just said he’s really grateful that Milan had a thing for him [he did not say that you idiot #awkward phrasing] [turns back to Xavi] But didn’t the same happen with Puyol, too? Milan was interested in him but then he said no. [Back to Galliani] They keep resisting you. They’re like a girlfriend who doesn’t want to…
[Xavi just fucking run awayyyy]
Galliani: Yeah but the one we came closest to getting was Xavi.
Nando [to Xavi]: So you were closest to signing a contract than Puyol, right?
Xavi: We were just about to accept though. It was a very little step that we didn’t take.
Nando: Can you give us a quick comment about the game, now that Galliano is listening?
Xavi: Sure. I think people saw a very nice, very exciting game. Milan put in a lot of effort, they played a really good game, and so did Barcelona. We were lucky enough to have better finishing, but I think that for any football fan what they saw tonight was an incredible show.
Nando: He said it was a great show and they were more lucky for scoring more.
Annoying studio journalist: Perfect summary!
Galliani: Exactly, yes. They are an awesome club. They are awesome awesome awesome club. They’re fantastic.
Nando [In Italian]: So this is the end of the courtship between Barcelona and Milan, yes? [In Spanish to Xavi] There will be no more…[doesn’t know how to say courtship in Spanish >_>]
Xavi bursts into [awkward] laughter.
Galliani: It’s too late now… he’s the novia [girlfriend in Spanish], the bride… everything to Barcelona.
Nando: Maybe there will be others though—
Galliani: No, no. No one else.
Annoying studio journalist: Beautiful. Beautiful one-on-one interview. Now—Awww, and such a beautiful, beautiful handshake… we were waiting to see another kind of handshake but whatever [he’s referring to Ibra-Pep]. Anyway, thanks to Xavi and Galliani.

Watching this was pure torture, and translating it was even worse LOL. I hope you appreciate the effort XD