The discussion topic in question today will be this: the recent discoveries of our Masia boys' preferences, fueled by their recent adorable moc mocs on twitter.
The culita world was sent into shock when wee little Gerard Deulofeu (otherwise known as Catalan Crispi, Mirror Mirror on the Wall, I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt, Spring Onion Head, and others) tweeted this:
cue the entire culita world GOBSMACKED at this revelation, that this little bundle of
Wee Cherub Teddybear Sergi Roberto: You're delusional!
Gerard: Hahaha...You have the bad/wrong image of me. In a while I will be silencing mouths, silly! (rough translation thanks to tumblr)
(cue culitas wailing and flailing and crying and dying and sapping and fapping over the fact that our Gerard is just a misunderstood little boy who has feelings and ambitions too..he could be the subject of a Morrissey song tbh)
And then, freshly-baked tweeter Marc Bartra jumps into his defender position by bully the wee suffering striker even more:
Marc: jajajajja @SergiRoberto10 I’m with you. jajjaja puto Gerard. Don’t be delusional. How good! (?)@gerardeulofeu
As the events unfold before our eyes, we see wee Gerard getting reclusive and defensive (you have no idea how much i'm falling in love with him now)
Gerard: jjajajaj yes, laugh...laugh. Little by little everything comes (I'm guessing this is a form of what goes around comes around?)
Marc: I’m still laughing… But well, ask me any doubt. I did very well at selectivity. See you tomorrow Socrates!
There are two excellent things about this tweet: 1) Marc clearly has Barca Troll DNA, 2) he knows Socrates.
is girlbaroque still alive?
Gerard, or the Joey Barton of La Segunda as I have branded him, respoonds with even more defensiveness
Gerard : Ask Rafinha if I enjoyed the class or not. But I think he enjoyed even moreAnd are the Rafa #notapedo fangirls still alive after THIS tweet??
Rafinha: Gerard, Sergi and Marc, you can call me Darwin! jajajajjaWell if they were alive then...
And Marc ends it with yet another bullying troll tweet:
Marc : Rafinha, you better stick to football… Jaja a hug.
Truly astonishing stuff, ladies. Who knew our Brazilian samba dancer and Catalan Crispi were fans of PHILOSOPHY? And that Bartra knew Socrates (not the footballer!!) existed?
1) What were your favourite subjects at school, culitas?
2) What do you think the favourite subjects of the rest of the team are?
3) Any other hidden talent you think the boys are hiding? Mino has a secret knack for hairdressing? Sergi Roberto is actually a world class, Barney style pimp? Carmona is a qualified plastic surgeon? Suggestions here!
4) And last but not least, since we know that Gerard and Rafinha are the future Socrates and Darwin (though Darwin wasn't much of a philosopher himself...), what quotes do you think they'll soon be "silencing mouths" with? Your selection of Depardieuisms and Rafinhisms?
This post was brought to you by this photo of the bully Marc Bartra, who is driving what looks like to be Maxwell to the training ground with him. I love that there is no youth/senior awkwardness in the team!