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TMI TUESDAY: JAVIER MASCHERANO
#14
 
CHILDHOOD
Javier Alejandro Mascherano was born on 8 June 1984 in San Lorenzo, Argentina. He started his footie career as a forward at age 10 on account of his father Oscar's wishes, but later started playing midfield. Masche grew up listening to his dad's favorite rock bands, playing on the streets with his friends before he managed to make his way into River Plate's youth system. 
This is his childhood home:
JK, I made that up. I couldn't find any pics of him as a baby, so instead you can have a picture of two homes and graffiti on the mean streets of Argentina.
MOVING ON,






R
IVER PLATE
At 19 years of age, Masche was invited to train with River Plate's senior team following a successful spell during the 2003 FIFA World Youth Championships.
He rocked it pretty hard. Masche only stayed for two seasons, but made 43 appearances and scored one goal (the first in his career). In his first year, River won the Clausura Championship in Argentina's Primera Division (there's two trophies, and that's one of them). Unfortunately, the next year didn't go so well, with River finishing 3rd in Clausura and 10th in Apertura (the other trophy), leading Masche to a change in sunny Brazil.


CORINTHIANS
Masche was sold to Corinthians for a hefty $15 million USD. After playing only 9 games with the team, he suffered a stress fracture on his left foot, which needed to be operated on. While he was out with injury, the club won Brazil's Serie A trophy in 2005. When Masche managed to return in 2006, Corinthians was going through a bit of a crisis, trying to fight of getting into the relegation zone. While there was plenty of interest from other clubs on Masche from the World Cup (the brazilian league goes into June, where it was put on hiatus until after the world tournament), he wanted to remain in Brazil and help his club fight and stay in Serie A. However, some shady stuff went down and instead of staying, Masche was sold to some lads in England for an undisclosed fee hours before the transfer window closed in Brazil.

W
ESHAM UNITED
Masche's stay at West Ham was pretty shit. While he was there in 2006/7, the club was spiralling downwards, winning only one game in eleven matches, and Masche was rarely on the pitch. The Argentina NT coach at the time (Basile, aka coco, aka flawless) had said that he hoped Masche would leave West Ham "as soon as possible" and that he hoped "for God's sake that Mascherano can go to Juventus" glad you didn't masche that's gross. There was a bunch of speculation about financial troubles in West Ham, and eventually Liverpool had enough of it and appealed to FIFA to allow Masche to play for them, due to a rule about only being able to play for two clubs in a year time period (he had played for both West Ham and Corinthians). FIFA approved it, and the English Premier League look another month to do the same, before Masche became a red.


LIVERPOOL
Masche moved to Liverpool in February 2007. He signed an official contract with the club in 2008, for a fee of £18.6 million. He played spectacularly for the club (what else is new), although with a bit of a temper. During his first season, Masche received a second yellow after protesting a yellow for a fellow red (he's got everyone's back) but refused to leave the pitch. It took the combined efforts of Xabi Alonso, Stevie G and Rafa Benitez to get him off the pitch. Masche later apologized for the incident, but appealed the three match ban because he's fierce and doesn't feel the need to be punished for it (the ban was upheld). He was also fined a ridiculous amount of money, but refused to pay unless it went to a charity. What a beautiful man, am I right or am I right?
 
Anyway, Masche had the worst disciplinary record in the EPL for the 2009-10 season because he just don't give a fuck. Seven yellow cards and two red cards, can't be tamed. Masche was offered a deal to Barcelona in summer 2007, but liverpool refused to sell him, and Masche's playing suffered. Masche was also having problems with the Argentina NT as they were in danger of not qualifying for the World Cup, as well as having to deal with long visits to Tevez who refused to leave his house, and his wife who couldn't speak english and depended on him to translate everything around the same time, so the deal with Barcelona not going through wasn't the only thing that deterred him from football. It did, however, lead to him spiraling into depression for all of a month and forlornly staring at Emiliano Insua through his window (they lived in towers close to each other idek) before he came back to being his awesome self. But eventually, after leading the club and supporters on for a good two-three years (cocktease smh) Masche told Roy (newly appointed manager) that he wished to leave the club. Following a training session where he trained all by his lonesome, (this is allegedly what all liverpool players do the day before they leave) (according to my dad) it was announced he was sold to the greatest club in the history of history.


B
ARCELONA
Masche transferred to Barcelona in summer 2010 for £22 million. He even cut his wages down 20% for the transfer to be possible, and was generally very accommodating to the club. He's slowly paying back what he's worth in a string of successful games following his disappointing debut in a 2-0 loss against Hercules. The progression of his passing and following the Barcelona system is something that can be seen in each game he plays, just getting better and better as the season goes on. Masche has played multiple positions witch Barça, most recently as left back against Osasuna. Although he gets a lot of shit for joining the club knowing he wasn't getting a starting position, Masche has defended his move multiple times, stating that playing for a club as amazing as Barça was enough for him. 
 
The fans love him,
 
 
The players love him,
 
Pep loves him,
 
 
everyone loves the man, he is flawless.

And now that we've understood how much of a club slut Masche is, it's time to move on to his flawless international career.


 
 
ARGENTINA


Masche actually played for Argentina (BEST NT IN THE WORLD, BETTER THAN YOUR FAVS, FLAWLESS, PERFECT, ETC) before he even began his professional football career (back then he used to play with River's youth teams). At the ripe age of 17, Masche began his international career with the most flawless, perfect, amayseen, beautiful, etc. etc. national team of the world in FIFA's u-17 tournament. His debut with the senior team came two years later in a friendly with Uruguay. Masche has taken part in the 2004 and 2008 Olympics, winning gold medals during both games. unfortunately the argies can't do the same next year because some dumb ass decided it would be GREAT to appoint Perazzo as coach for the u-23s and he's a little shit but WHATEVER. I'M NOT MAD, I SWEAR. He also took part in Copa America 2004, and although Argentina lost to Brazil in penalties for the final, Masche was voted best Argentine player by his teammates. He was again voted best player during the next Copa, which was obviously deserved since the man is a beast on the field. Shortly after el dio Maradona was appointed coach for the national team, Masche was given the captain's armband (which used to belong to another flawless Argentinian, Javier Zanetti). Masche was captain during the 2010 World Cup, where Argentina went out in the quarter finals. I cried so much that day I'm a bit embarrassed by it. Under Batista as coach, Masche retained the armband and will likely be captaining the squad to victory during Copa America this summer. Overall, Masche has had 64 call ups for the team, scoring 2 goals, both during Copa 2007 (a sign for this summer obvs) Here he is being absolutely adorable singing a Newell's chant with the rest of the Argentina NT after they qualified for the 2010 WC:
:33


DA HOME LYFE
Masche is married to beautiful, gorgeous, better-than-your-fav-WAG Fernanda Mascherano. They're pretty low key, but here is a pic of him and her and one of their daughters:


She got blamed for his move to Barça, allegedly moving to South America without him to give birth to their second daughter, refusing to come back, threatening divorce, etc. etc. Pretty much Liverpool fans don't like her that much. Again, they have two daughters. Unfortunately I couldn't find the name of the second one, but the older on is named Lola and she's adorable.  
Have a family picture:
dat ass DAT ASS I wanna hit it too tbh


 

MESSIRANO
 
As we all know, a football is only as great as his bromancing counterpart. Which explains why Masche is so amazing, wonderful, beautiful, etc., as none other than Lionel Messi is his brother from another mother.
Masche on Leo: During our time together with the Argentina national team. Our friendship has grown much stronger over the last few years. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had some tough moments in the national team. That’s the best way to grow closer. When a group of colleagues has a difficult time and gets criticised, the best way to counteract that is to close ranks. We’ve become close friends and I hope that lasts a long time in Barcelona


Pictoral evidence, you say?
"Hey Javier, what do you think Pique's doing with Shaki over there?" 'Dunno Leo, let's keep watching'
 
 


mes que un abrazo  

 
TEVERANO
He also has a bromance with Carlitos Tevez, but whatever.

 
 
 
 
Even when they play for different clubs, the bromance continues~ can't believe I just spammed Tevez ughhhhhgaoidjs. ok moving on to some fun stuff...


DID YOU KNOW?
1. Most Argentinian players are given a nickname (because the fans are da best obvs). Masche usually goes by el jefecito, aka the little boss. And Masche is the other one. Apparently they also call him pulpo, which I don't understand but whatever. He's also been given nicknames Monster Masche and sMasche by fans. He prefers to be called Javier, in case you were wondering.

2. Mascherano has played with the numbers 5, 8, 14, 15, 16, 18, and 20 between his club and international career.

3. He has an Italian passport. I wish I could tell you why, but I have no idea.

4. Since playing with Barcelona, Masche has played his regular defensive midfield position, as well as both centre-back positions. Multi-purpose. He's also the only barça player who has yet to score a goal ): sooon

5. One time, someone wrote a song about him while he dribbled a ball on his head. That's hot.
6. Masche's favorite band is The Beatles. I made that up. Let's pretend it is since he grew up listening to them. They happen to be my favorite band too. In case you care. 7. If given praise from a well known football figure, Masche blushes (how cute).
 
8. He likes going shopping with his wife.
 
9. Every time he scores a goal (which, as you know, isn't very often), he dedicates it to his daughter(s).
 
10. His boots also have (had?) his first daughter's name on them.

 
11. Masche tries to model himself after Claude Makélélé (currently plays for PSG, used to play for Chelsea where Masche admired him most).


12. Usually, footballers are in adidas ads and the like. But Masche brings it to a whole new level and instead advertises fiats. With his body. And freaky 5 part youtube videos
 
13. Masche takes moving into new cities and learning about culture and clubs very seriously. When he was being interviewed after moving to West Ham, he arrived at the interview with a DVD on the club's history he planned to watch while his new-born daughter was sleeping. Being the cutie pie he is he was very excited for the 'derby' between WH and Aston Villa the upcoming weekend. There is no derby between the clubs. Someone'd told them there was and he believed them. Too cute for words, I tell you.

14. Although he played for River Plate, Masche is a fan of San Lorenzo in Argentina's Primera Division, where he's from.


QUE GRANDE, MASCHE
                                                                               nice things said by nice people.
"He moves and dominates the ball perfectly and has other virtues, such as reading the game."
-Tito co-HBIC
"He's a monster of a player."
-Rafa Benitez
"He has a cool mind on the pitch. He is analysing and thinking about the game in each moment."
-Chabby Alfonso
"Mascherano has the biggest talent of all the young players I have seen in the last years. He is a monster of a player and destined for great things."
-Diego Maradona, better than your favs
 
"Mascherano is a fast and a very intelligent player, he can adapt to any position."
-Ooooh moc moc
 
"He is a jewel in midfield."
-Manel's #1 fan
"He's everywhere, no matter where the ball is. It's extraordinary, he helps behind and in front of the ball."
-Victor Sexo Valdes
"It's a priviledge playing with him, it's perfect playing when you do so with such professionalism and dedication."
-Dani 'quieres bailar?' Alves
 
"He's very intelligent, he has a lot of extraordinary qualities and has a high caliber of play."
-Sergi Buckets
 
FOR SOME REASON IT'S NOT LETTING ME LIST THE SOURCES. >:| But I have them all bookmarked so I'll add them in later. And I leave you with a Masche quote to demonstrate how much he lurves us mostly me tho:
 
 
"No matter the opponent, Barça always plays the same. The style isn't up for discussion. If we have to die, we'll die our way. Change the style would be betraying Barcelona's history. We defend a club, a history, a way of interpreting football."




shirtless Masche thanks you for your time
and it's back to studying forever now ;__;
masche needs a better tag btw...js.

Comments

naked_raccoon
Apr. 25th, 2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
I keep looking at this post but just scroll and stare at this picture EVERY TIME alkjdfakljdf o m g


has a device been invented yet that would allow my brain to be in her body? plz
tobleronebb
Apr. 26th, 2011 05:52 am (UTC)
I seriously WANT to leave my finger prints on that bum
kitcountssouls
Apr. 26th, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
being John Malkovich :D

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