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[30 Jul 2005|12:41am]

Hello, everyone. For some odd reason, I'm in a talkative mood today - tonight - this morning - whatever.

My brother's been put in a group home, and I keep having to go to the dentist for fillings and such in the same city that my brother currently resides in. That's the short of it.

It's been taking a toll on my mom, causing her indigestion and sleeping problems. So, you can all guess what it's doing to me.

I am slipping once again, leaving that realm of happiness, back towards the darkness of depression. I'm back at the point where all I do is think about crying and I start getting choked up.

As well, I think that I might have schizotypy. It would explain alot if I did have it - but until I can get an official assessment from a therapist, I'm stuck thinking about it day in and day out. So, I think that if I could get in to see my old therapist about my depression, I could slip in a gentle (or maybe not so gentle) suggestion as to getting me an assessment.

But I have to wait until the week after next at least, since my mom's going to a family reunion, I have another dental appointment, and my mom has to work. All that and I'm finally going to take my learner's test, even though I'm already 16 and should have my driver's by now. But I don't really care. I'm just busy with other things.

That's about all I feel like talking about for the moment. . .I don't expect anyone to respond. I'm somewhat invisible to every community I'm in nowadays, anyway.
take this and break it....

long time, no talk [26 Jun 2005|07:35pm]

[ mood | calm ]

i went from major depression, to manic depression. improvement, i guess ?
 im sure it had to do with getting away from the preps.
but it may also do with surfng almost everyday, which is making me happy.

its a miracle.

take this and break it....

Tell me wut u think please! [21 Apr 2005|09:09pm]

[ mood | creative ]

Failure of DecemberCollapse )

take this and break it....

[09 Apr 2005|08:54am]

alright well i'm posting this to all my cutting journals as sort of an update...
some of them will just delete this i know but hey, whatever..
i'm leaving the pro-cutting ones, only staying on RYL.
because i'm done.. i havnt cut in over a month, and i no longer want to..
♥ and hope to all...
1 broken heart take this and break it....

dont have to read. [07 Feb 2005|08:39pm]

[ mood | fading to nothing ]

KewlKarateKid143: im just saying dont try and seduce the lil boy im not trying to, cuz he wont fucking talk to me, alright??????????? i dont know what the hell i did to him, and honestly at this point, i could fucking care less. im tired of losing sleep over peoples opinions, and to the people that just dont wanna talk to me for whatever reason it is, fine then dont talk, im not gonna fucking worry abpout it. for those people, i say 2 words. FUCK YOU nothings ever wrong, but nothings ever right. the more the light shine throught me i pretend to close my eyes. the more the dark consumes me i pretend that im burning bright.

take this and break it....

Help? [14 Jan 2005|06:41pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Does anybody here know if I put myself into a mental Institute if i can check myself out when i am ready? or do i have to wait till they let me out?

Factors - 16 , Autralia, Cutter....

1 broken heart take this and break it....

[06 Jan 2005|12:16am]

yesterday afternoon i had a bit of a breakdown.it's not that big but i'm lj cutting it to save your friends pageCollapse )

i'm just worried, that what with not sleeping for the past few weeks, my self harm is going to go up. i hadn't since i accidentally missed my meds and dissociated. but then two nights ago, i did. i did the worst i have so far. and i'm worried that i'll do much worse, before my doctor comes back.

it's silly. i'm not angry at myself for self harming. i don't really see it as a problem. i know everyone else does. i'm just worried that it will get worse and it will be physically dangerous. like, i could actually hurt myself and a) be discovered and admitted to hospital, or b) pass out from loss of blood. it's not like going to happen tomorrow. but i'm still worried!

i just wanted to know if anyone has any help for getting through like, 12 days, without losing it. i'm not suicidal or anything, but i don't want to get any more depressed, because i'm really scared of going back into hospital again.

now my cat pooped on my bed so i know she's mad at me, so i better go sleepin. wish me luck.

(x-posted like a bitch)
take this and break it....

[05 Jan 2005|04:44pm]

Join Join JOIN!!!Collapse )
1 broken heart take this and break it....

[05 Jan 2005|01:42pm]

[ mood | amused ]

to hilarious to keep to myself, we could all use alittle fun.Collapse )

2 broken hearts take this and break it....

so much for my happy ending [29 Dec 2004|06:52am]

[ mood | apathetic ]

California Sun has sunkCollapse )

take this and break it....

this shit hurts. [28 Dec 2004|05:45pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

Cut me apartCollapse )

take this and break it....

I loved you back... [27 Dec 2004|01:43pm]

[ mood | amused ]

So, i recently erased a almost finished star on my leg. mmhm. and its really effing cool now. like, for every line on the almost star is for every mistake i have made with love. sounds a little corny i know. but yeah. it felt really good. im not done though. mmhm. And theres pictures in the cut of my Self-mudilating Desk, my Arm and the almost finished star on my leg. yeah. about the Desk. haha. a little comic Relief. i needed some. cause im really REALLY sad right now.

Beauty is in the RazorCollapse )

1 broken heart take this and break it....

[26 Dec 2004|01:34pm]

First off Merry to Christmas to all i hope you all had a good day.

my christmas sucked arse really, i spent the day getting over an OD that i had done the night before and trying to hide cuts from afew days ago.
2 broken hearts take this and break it....

[23 Dec 2004|11:12am]

i said i'd post pictures, here they are..

sorry bout the shitty quality

shower time...Collapse )

2 broken hearts take this and break it....

[22 Dec 2004|05:12pm]

[ mood | crappy ]

severe depression and anger

towards everyone and everything

dont mix to well

i wish for once

i could have no emoitions and was


take this and break it....

[21 Dec 2004|06:44am]

hacked up my arm sunday night
last night i sliced up my lower stomach.. i might be pregnant so i went all.. "gotta get the baby out" on myself.. sigh..
also, carved WHY? into my leg..

i'll have pictures eventually if anyone wants to see..
5 broken hearts take this and break it....

blah [20 Dec 2004|06:15pm]
How will you know that I am hurting, if you cannot see my pain? To wear it on my body, tells what words cannot explain!
6 broken hearts take this and break it....

[19 Dec 2004|11:32am]

hey I'm in in the cut can i be added here too??? i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder last fall and wow it's been a whirlwind...
8 broken hearts take this and break it....

[20 Dec 2004|02:57am]

[ mood | sad ]

i have this friend and i cant help her, and its making me so damn sad. i love her she is great, and i know she is going to kill herself and soon, i dont know how to help ... i would do anything to take this pain away from her.... why cant i fix it?

Im going to loose her too and i cant take lossing another.

1 broken heart take this and break it....

question... [19 Dec 2004|10:29am]

[ mood | curious ]

how can a person take 50 pills, cut her thighs, and still be alive???
ps. i need members for my community:supernaturalist

3 broken hearts take this and break it....

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