I'm so sick of people showing me their 'poetry.' They get all bashful and assure me that it isn't very good and I start to get anxious about reading it, not because I suspect it's going to 'touch' me on some spiritual or emotional level but because I know they are actually correct in their false protestation that it isn't very good but also that they are secretly proud of the drivel they are about to show me. But like a jackass I always read it-- whining about pain and broken hearts and the supposedly uplifting contrived advice set to rhyming ditcionary-induced lyrical catatonia-- and I smile stiffly and lie to their face like they want me to.
"Wow! I didn't know you could write stuff like this!"
You all suck. And if you think you're a good poet, you probably suck worse than most. If you write poetry, you should be genuinely embarrassed by it. I'm not saying I've never felt downtrodden and written a few lines of shitty poetry here and there but I am actually sincerely embarrassed by it and do not wish anyone to read my shame. However, I can recognize real poetry. Trust me, there are no Emily Dickinsons or Yeateses in your town, not even any Maya Angelous or Leonard Cohens, not in your town, and certainly not in your house, living your life!
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