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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in break in, break out's LiveJournal:

Saturday, April 21st, 2012
7:49 pm
Friday, April 20th, 2012
1:31 am
hi!no delete please
Originally posted by nikitagretzky at что вы вы видите на этой картинке?
Originally posted by diak_kuraev at Как делаются сенсации
... Получилось, будто митрополит согласен с нацистской символикой...
Получилось что "митрополит согласен с нацистами" ?
На самом деле получилось что
1)нацисты согласны с митрополитами
2)Митрополитам похуй кого они ведут за собой
Friday, March 18th, 2005
5:33 pm
my new poem lol
it's not very good.. and it's kinda long..
but you should totally read it anyway! :)

The Unseen

Once, you told me I was beautiful. 1
I held your hand in mine,
It felt like gold.
I held your words in me head, forever repeating,
Those words were gold in me 5

I sat in front of a mirror,
I saw my reflection, then.
I didn’t believe those words you spoke,
I didn’t believe you anymore.
I felt played, those words were untrue. 10

I asked why you lied
You told me, I didn’t look deep enough,
I was beautiful on the inside.
You wouldn’t lie to me.

Now I know, Now I know, 15
What you told was true.
The love I had for you grew;
But not for the compliment you threw.
Because of what you made me see

You made me see, so much more 20
Than I could believe.
I never thought so differently.
But that was in the past.
Looks don’t last, beauty is what succeeds.

It means a lot to me; 25
What I’ve come to be.
You did this to me,
I’m so much more than was before.
It’s funny, how you can bring someone up,
But they would still be low. 30
You just don’t know.

You think you know me,
But I’m just not what you see.
I’m something you never knew.

You think I’m beautiful, I’m not 35
Inside or outside.
You still say those words to me.
But you don’t know the inside of me,
You still see the outside.

I could be a con-man 40
With the person I pretend to be.
It’s dark on the inside
Hateful, criticizing, unclean, mean

I wish I could show you
Just so you know 45
Just how I’m not what I seem.
I’m afraid you’ll go
You want my “beautiful soul”
It’s not there, and soon you’ll know.

I tried to change, I really did 50
But don’t you see?
I’m just me.
Don’t let your love go to waste
On a loser like me.
You don’t want just anyone 55
To hold.
You’re too bold.

But I am “just anyone”
There’s nothing special here
Soon you’ll know, 60
The Beast inside me.
It won’t leave, I’m contaminated.

I’m not like you,
You’ve got the beautiful soul.
You’ve got the control. 65
Where did I go right?

You found me
The real me, the inside me
You stuck by me.
How come I’ve got you? 70

You still think I’m great,
You’re perfect.
You broke through,
All of my confusion.
Now I can feel Beautiful, 75
Standing next to you.
I’ll stand by you. 77

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
8:59 pm
"A man or woman sunk in dreams that cannot be spoken, about a life they do not possess, comes suddenly to a door in the wall. They open it. Beyond the door is that life and a man or woman to whom it is already natural. It may not be possesions they want, it may very well be the lack of them, but the secret life is suddenly revealed. This is thier true home and this is their beloved.
" I may be cynical when i say that very rarely is the beloved more than a shaping spirit for the lover's dreams. And perhaps such a thing is enough. To be a muse may be enough. The pain is when the dreams change, as they do, as they must. Suddenly the enchanted city fades and you are left alone again in the windy desert. As for your beloved, she didn't understand you. The truth is, you never understood yourself."
"Lies 1: There is only the present and nothing to remember.
Lies 2: Time is a straight line.
Lies 3: The difference between the past and the future is that one has happened while the other has not.
Lies 4: We can only be in one place at a time.
Lies 5: Any proposition that contains the word 'finite'(the world, the universe, experience, ourselves...)
Lies 6: Reality as something that can be agreed upon.
Lies 7: Reality as truth."

Excepts from "Sexing the cherry". In total aggreement with both.
Monday, November 8th, 2004
9:43 pm
Your majesty...
if i was queen of this night, would you become a king?

Current Mood: confused
Monday, September 27th, 2004
10:29 am
Ok a few things....
a.) I hope joe pretty cuts his manhood off one night when he's playing around with that knife of his.
b.) Hse is an effin bitch and i do not need her.She can start all the shit she wants because i'm better than that. if she wantys to lie and write fake notes then let her but i won't resort to that. I know how to show that little thing called respect.
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
9:18 am
im sorry im posting this cuz i feel like im bitching but i need to let some stuff out....

i dont want the guys i can have.

i cant have the guys i want.

i havent had a boy friend in almost a year. i got pretty close to this one guy and he led me on and blah blah blah and would always tell me how much he liked me but he wouldnt ask me out. so i ask his friend who im really cool with, and as a friend he told me carlos wouldnt ask me out cuz of my hair and that he would be ashamed to be seen with me in public and introduce me to family and whatnot.

ok. im done. ill shut up....

Current Mood: blank
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
9:40 pm
teh newbie
some infoCollapse )

Letter to you.
Hello darling; I miss you. I've heard that you're hurting a lot lately. I've heard that you want to die; end your life. I've heard that you're willing to do whatever it takes to stop the pain; to stop feeling.

Knowing this makes me sad; and cry. I want you to be happy; more then anything. You deserve it so much. You're one of the best people out there; there's no body like you.

To hear that you're talking about doing drugs; talking about drinking; talking about leaving. Scares me so much; because I know that eventually you will give in and do these things.

I wish I could make you see how wonderful of a person you are; but no matter how hard I try; you find the negative.

I love you so much; I want you to get better; and unfortunately distance is keeping us apart; and not being able to hold you hurts so much.

All I really want is for you to be happy; but even if you cant be; please do me one favour.

Take the time to remember me.

I love you.

xo [teh ashies]
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
6:06 pm
Dear Some Boy,
I'm too shy to go up to you and say hi. I watch your life pass by like the blood in my veins, wondering how you've been, are you ok?I'd tell you that I pray every day just hoping everything is ok. For this is a letter that will not be read by the reader that it was ment to send. But you wouldn't care to read it beacuse I'm jsut a girl living a reality world, where everyone is cruel and everything is full of hate, this is no victory in heartbreak.

xoxo</3~Some Girl (this letter sucked, comments please, thankyou)

Current Mood: melancholy
Saturday, May 29th, 2004
1:31 pm
i wrote a new peom

i've got a poem for yall. tell me if it's good.
i wrote it like a while ago... when i kinda hated poetry lol. it's not really about anyone. there's someone in mind.. that i could use it for... but this is way to like stalker for that person. lol. i didn't even realize i was writing a peom. it was weird. and i know you're thinking. how do you not know you're writing a poem faggot. but i was just in lala land. :)
read and review :)
I can't keep it hidden forever,
someone's bound to find out.
every moment it creeps closer to the surface,
a secret that shall soon be out.
You are my love,
ther is no escape.
i can't live without you.
why don't i tell you,
you mean everything to me
you are perfect
in so many ways
why do i taunt myself
and never say a word
why don't i tell you
that you are my world

OK .. that's it. :) comment please ;)

Ps: guess who is gettign their grass cut!!!:):):)
lol "i've waited so long for this moment:) haha"
now i dont have to be embarressed to go into my driveway


Current Mood: lonely
Friday, May 14th, 2004
11:54 am
Ok, i am the mod...
I am the mod of this community, this is my main journal. The other one was just made in one my obbsessive ranting change times.
...Ok, I just wish that he would reply or comment or email or something. He knows where i live, where i work, my aim, my email, and my lj. It's not that hard to reply. and i don't know how i feel about him. b/c i fell for him so hard. And i wanted him so bad, and he was the opposite of me. We have the opposite attitudes, morals, feelings, everything. Maybe thats why we clicked so well or so it seems. I just wish that i could have trusted him. Maybe that was the think but i do not think that just because my brother threatened him means that he has to ignore my exisitence. Seriously. And i know atleast on my half, things maybe were getting too serious but he did not feel for me the way that i had started to feel for him. and he knew the whole time so i do not think that he should have ended our friendship like that. Like, i lived for those late night phone calls. When i would dil his number at 11 and he would laugh and ask why i was still awake when he knew that going to bed any earlier than that for me would be a sin.And like i loved talking to him, we were so honest with each other. i could talk to him and he would not judge me, and he knew the rap i was taking for being his friend. Everyone in my life that i really loved hated him and i took it. I didn't care, he meant that much to me. I swore i would never fall for him, i swore up and down and then i just did. I just fell right off that cliff. Maybe all of this is for the best but i cannot stand to think that. I mean ok, he left an anon in my journal. The answer to a question, i im'ed his away message and said that even if he ignored my existence to tell me the name of the book that he read for his senior research paper. and here it was. Simply "paradise lost--milton". That killed me. That tore me apart, it tore me apart that he could read my honest feelings for him and yet only said something so minute. Or meaningful. Ok, sure he was answering my question but there was irony in this. Could have been. maybe he was telling me something r maybe as usual, i am simply reading into things too much. He thinks that he is amazing and i am thinking that maybe he thinks that life with him in it is paradise or something. Paradise lost. Maybe it was his way of saying that i have lost him in my life. Maybe he is saying that that time in my life is gone, over. although, more irony. after paradise lost, milton wrote paradise revisited. hmm?
Wishful thinking. I just wish that i knew how he was feeling. i don't even care what it is, good or bad as long as i know because i cannot live like this. I want to move on, i want that so badly but i can't. I can't move on if i am still wondering if what was there was anything. If it was even a friendship or if he was just trying to get somehing else. Maybe i'll never know.
Monday, April 26th, 2004
8:43 pm
pecachu~~my sister should realyl stop watching that lol

heyyy... uhm... yeah. i duno what to write... because that's just how things go. and i wrote veeything in steph's communtiy. lol.

uhm... well... school was okay. besides the fact that i got detention along with the rest fio the class since a couple pf people were talking. my english teacher is insane.

yeah... and.. i duno.        now my dad's mad at some dude who gives him hot instead of sweet/ lol. i'm not exactly paying attention. so lataz~~love Jo

Current Mood: happy
Monday, March 22nd, 2004
1:06 pm
This community as stated in the bio is for rants, spilling, basiccly whatever needs to be said about what you are feeling. Put lyrics, poems, jumbles of words, whatever. This community is yours.
♥ ♥

Here we go.....

Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone’s when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime

Is it really true
Did you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who

You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me

Cuz I want to learn
How you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name

Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name

Cherish your name

Current Mood: calm
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