jp_prongs (jp_prongs) wrote in _diagonalley,

Surprise Owl.

Mum sent me a note this morning.
Rather strange one, at that.

She said that she'd sent me a pet. Via-Owls...

I've decided to take it upon myself to get you a pet, as I've just now remembered that you left for school without one. Owls are incredibly messy, so I found your new one at an exotic store that your father found. He's just a doll, and you shouldn't have any problems with him. He is slightly larger than normal, so don't be surprised.

All the best dear,

I read the note out loud and Here comes a group of four barn owls carrying a crate in between them.
A bloody crate!!!
And it wasn't growling or shaking or anything. Nothing evil. Completely docile..
What a shame. No fun whatsoever.

I pulled the lid off of the crate, with the Aid of Sirius and it's like.. "Holy Bloody Bugger, what IS THIS THING??"

I had a LARGE, Orange furball for a pet.

Oh great. A cat. Remus won't be too happy with this one. Hide your kitty Remus, I dunno what this guy'll do to it.. *grimace*

The cat stood up out of the crate and casually stepped over the edge. He had a tag around his neck that said "Crookshanks" and I was very confused.
I didn't like drawing attention unless I MADE the attention. And this was..

Several others around us started backing away. The cats PAW was about as big as my head. Wowww...

And it gets stranger still.

You know how cats eyes are's? These weren't. They looked almost..human. Very human, in fact. Crookshanks casually looked at my mouth-agape face and started eating the bacon I'd ordered.
MY BLOODY BACON!!! Ugh. Felines.

I went to grab a piece of bacon and he sniffed my hand. A very audible "snuff snuff" sound. He then started purring and nudged my hand, rubbing the top of his head against it. Sirius pulled out one of my sweaters from the crate and gave me a look that blatantly said "huh?".

I about needed a new pair of underoos right there. This cat had a mouth that could engulf my head easily and he was purring. Purring, I tell you!
This'll never be a lap cat, as my lap may be broken as a result. As well as the rest of me.

I remembered Mum's note. "Slightly larger than normal?" I said aloud. "What the bloody is NORMAL??"
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