[.hate.your.way.] (cherryasian) wrote in _deeply_in_love,

Quick update:

I've been really stressed out lately.

how stressed out?

So stressed out that i'm getting sick and i can't wake up in the mornings anymore. Im not a morning person at all, but waking up 3 in the afternoon is ridiculous.

Dec. 28 me and richie are going to Tenessee ( i dont know why tenessee )for new years. It was a random place his friends picked and they invited us.

i've been on BITCH mode lately. (mostly due to stress)
not sure if you guys remember my last post, but i mentioned how extremely nice Richie has suddenly been to me and how he's been super affectionate and etc...

but regaurdless of all his love...i've been so mean to him. I honestly am not trying to drive him away, but i snap and snap and snap at him constantly and i can't stop myself. I sat him down and talked to him and he told me that he knew that i dont mean it.

its not extreme things. but i say "whatever..." and brush him off, i'll command things instead of asking him...things like that.

and the worst part is when im doing it and i catch myself, i dont stop myself and i dont know why.

What is wrong with me?!

he mentioned to me the other night that he wanted his christine back. That im not the same person anymore.
and whats worse is that he blames my bitterness on himself because during the summer, he was very very VERY nasty to me. so he thinks that i'm this way because i picked it up from him.

Maybe i did, but i dont know.

i dont know if im trying to get back at him for making me feel so aweful during the summer or i'm going through some HORRIFIC estrogen streak....

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