You are my godson and I love you. I tried my best to help you by giving you some medicine that
I thought would help you. For awhile, you seemed to be doing better. I completely forgave you for ruining my birthday, and for all of your long-term constant verbal abuse. Even though I don't actually recall you ever apologizing for any of that ever.
Then you decided to wake up my 1 year old grandson after 2 1/2 hours. You did this deliberately, by stomping up and down the stairs for over an hour and talking LOUDLY, even though I pleaded with you to be quiet because the baby was sleeping--and God knows no one on this Earth wants to hear your ego-maniacal drivel. My grandson is an extremely active, very sensitive, very particular little boy who is very difficult to put to sleep, very easy to wake up and who then took over 4 hours to get back to sleep. He was then fussy and hysterical for at least 24 hours after returning to his mother's care. He did not get enough sleep and was extremely cranky, exhausted and difficult for J. to take care of the next day. J.-your cousin who you pretend to care about-was in constant pain when you woke up her baby on purpose just to be an asshole. Your incredibly selfish, venomous and malicious acts caused J. a whole lot of trouble, and could have made the baby sick--not that you would care.
Everyone makes excuses for you because you are a raging alcoholic and "need help". Well boo-fucking-hoo to you. I don't see you making any effort whatsoever to get help. I have offered to help you get help, not to mention me giving you my own medicine (until your last stunt).
I remember when you were a little boy and I used to tell Grandma to stop pitying you for not having decent parents. "Pobrecito". I knew that this attitude was toxic and would ruin your ability to live a good life or even to be a good person, if you were infected with it. Now look at you. Self pity and egotism ooze from every pore of your body. You are a legend in your own mind. I wish you had to watch videos of your drunken antics for however long it took you until you were ready to go to rehab. I am talking 'Clockwork Orange' style eye openers and restraints. But whatever. There is nothing I can do to help you when your cousin and your grandmother and your "friends" are all "looking out for you". You will never face the reality of your life while you have these buffers to prevent you from suffering the consequences of your behavior. BTW-Bukowski would barf if he met you. Seriously Dude. Grow the fuck up.
If you ever paid any attention to reality, you might notice that your friends will get you drunk, but they dump you back at Grandma's house after a few hours of "enjoying" your drunken company. Without fail-even your best friends have NO INTEREST in hearing your drunken ramblings. That should give you a clue. Honestly, I do not even think that alcoholism is your main issue. IMO-Narcissism is problem #1. Alcoholism is issue #2. But I do not claim to be perfect nor do I claim to not have my own serious issues. My only claim to superiority over you is that I am not an asshole to people for no reason. I do not keep my 74 year old grandmother who is having multiple strokes repeatedly up all night because I am drunk and crave attention,nor do I wake up infants out of pure spite, nor do I believe rapist/woman-beaters words over my own cousin's word, nor do I refuse to take responsibility for my own actions nor do I FAIL to apologize for my wrongdoings that hurt other people.
You have so much potential. You are a constant source of disappointment to me and to anyone who truly cares about you.
You don't have to be like this. Please consider getting some help. Please apologize for being such a huge dickhead. I would help you to the best of my ability.
I remember when you were born. What high hopes we all had for you. You don't have to wallow in shit. It IS NOT romantic at all. How exciting your life could be if you would get off your ass and stop being a "pobrecito". Love, Nina.