My friend and her beautiful son need a home. They are in Santa Cruz, California. Please help them find an affordable place to call their own. His name is Orion, just look for the shiny spark with a heart that glows like a diamond in the sun. His mom is an amazing person too, she was one of the Tribemates who helped save my life three years ago.
Everyone has them... I only share mine on here because no one really listens. I am in a home with laughter, schreeks, smiles, tears, running, everything. But yet I feel so alone most of the time. I am a stay at home mom to people who act like I am a maid. I do all that needs to be done, but by days end, its back to normal. If I don't do it, it looks like a tornado came in, no dishes left, clothes scattered, awful. I wish for a full day off. A day for me and only me. I want a day of no worries, no yelling, no tears. A day where if I want to spend that $5 in my wallet, I can and not feel guilty. A day where I don't worry if the power will stay on or how I will feed the family that night. A day of just me and a book.
I have so many worries and so little trust. I watch Corey go to work and come home and do nothing. When I say noting, I mean nothing. I know he works, but I never got that luxury when I worked full time. I just want him to send me off for the day and me come home and all is done. I can come home and soak and go to bed.
I want to know all the bills are paid and still can buy presents for the kids
I want a Christmas with no worries of how it will happen.....
Lord please hear my prayer and help me understand
I am trying to hold it together. You took my rock...my father. I could call him and he would give it to me straight... I had help. I had support. I lean on mom, but she is trying to make it without dad. I look at my kids and want more for them. Just when we get ahead, you throw us another curve.. the kind that take us back to the start of it all. After 15 years, we are due to just get ahead. I watch all these around me go forward and have it all... well, no love. My family has love. I love my family with my soul and leave us in your hands. I leave it to you and all you are. I am just praying for a break. I am praying you will bless my family and help up to your ability. I pray for stability in myself. I pray for a day where I don't feel in the shadows. I pray for a day where I am me again...
I finally remembered this journal and took a shot to see if it was still active... it was. I went back and read my old entries and was amazed on what we went thru during that time. things mellowed out, but much has changed! We ended up we moving because of Smokes parents. His father hated my youngest because he laughed too loud! He was 2! Anyhow, we found a great house in Ephesus built in 1930! Its haunted, but we have learned to live together! lol Things got great, but have recently gotten worse. I lost my job in July and have not found anything. I had to give my car back with 4 payments left. I am a stay at home mom and love it. Lexy is 12 now and the boys have birthdays this month. Daviel will be 9 and Blayne will be 6! Time flies when you are not looking! money is tight and Christmas is only 10 days away! I am scared because I am not sure if there will be a Christmas. God will allow...
Yesterday was a horrible day. A 20 year old went into an elementary school and shot 20 children and 6 adults before turning the gun on him.... the kids were ages 5 to 10. One of the deceased was his mother. I did not know what to think. Its devastating and unnecessary violence.... I don't know how God could let this happen, but I and others will never know.
I look at the world from a different view now. My kids have made me. I still have wants and dreams, but they have ben put on hold. I will go back to school. I start back in January. I am changing my major to medicine. I have been in the restaurant world long enough and now I want to do what matters. I cry daily.
This year has been horrible. Lost Brittney McCormick to a horrible ATV accident on May 2, Coreys Uncle Wayne on the 10th and Mawmaw Dockery on the 14th. Dad lost his battle with illness on Sept 2nd. I was able to spend the last 13 days with him. I watched him drift away. I was able to talk to him before he fell into his coma state. he said he love me and was proud to have me as he daughter. He was my step dad, but never anything less than a father to me! I still cry about him. Aunt Joyce lost her battle on Oct 6th and my brother Timmy lost his battle with cancer (by heart attack) on Nov 14th. Me and Timmy made amends while I was in Florida with dad. WE continued to talk on the phone and computer weekly after I got home. I was devastated from all this. my life, this year, has been surrounded by death. Its a struggle everyday.
Found out I have heart issues and need to lose weight. not much, but I had to change everything in my life. Its life changing, but at 35 with a strong family history of heart disease, I need to be careful!
Thank you for the blessings of the past year. I am grateful to see progress on all fronts in my life. I am not in want for anything. May the Universe be filled with your gifts always.
Mahalo Nui Loa,
My dear Mr. C.,
Just under the wire this year. Been busy. Know you must be too! Will keep this brief.
1. A way out of this marriage by this time next year.
2. The focus and drive I need to finish this degree.
3. A way up to Alaska with my sister to scatter Mom's ashes.
Wolf A. Woman (Slytherin)
I don't want much for christmas this year, I have everything I could ever want. I'm in love with a wonderful man who I know I will marry one day, who actually wants to marry me as well. All I want is for my dad to be healthy again and not have to worry about his cancer ever again. Another thing would be for my stepmom to be healthy as well. I want this Christmas to be extra special to erase the immense amount of pain she was in a year ago when she had to lose her leg. All I want is for my family to be happy.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas,
Hi! How are you and Mrs. Clause and all the reindeer doing? I just wanted to drop you a line this year to thank you for the terrible time at the family Christmas party last year! Now, Santa, before you think this is an insult it is not! I am seriously thanking you! For the first time ever someone was so rude to me that the rest of the family was stunned speechless! It made them open there eyes and see how some of them honestly treated me. One of my cousins even went out and bought me the very present that an aunt of mine ripped from my hands and gave to someone else. I thank you because even though I was the example, it still made people think a little bit more about other peoples feelings, and that makes me happy, I felt joy for the first time over the holidays last year. Even though my mom said I wasn’t getting presents by anyone in the family this year I still bought my cousin and her family nice gifts because I was so happy about last year. I wish for more then anything this year that some of them can see me for who I am, and stop holding the fact that they hate my daddy so much against me. It wasn’t my fault to be born. Every year I hold my breath and try to make them like me Santa. Please! Please le it be this year!
Thank you Santa!
I want a few things for Christmas. For starters, I know that Christmas usually needs snow, and I'm totally okay with that - but can you discuss this with the powers that be, and prevent too much snow from happening up until Christmas? I really like being able to get around without getting stuck.
My second thing for Christmas: It's weird Santa, but I think I'm growing up. I really do want to get out of school finally and have a job. But the problem is that finding a job isn't easy and as a newbie to this whole thing I'm feeling really overwhelmed. Help? I really do need a job sooner or later. Failing that, I guess getting lots of money by winning the lottery. But I think a job is more feasible, yes?
Third thing for Christmas: My rat, James. He's old and I'm scared he won't make it 'til Christmas and that makes me very sad. If it's okay, I'd like to keep him around until then. I do love him so and I don't want him to suffer... but I do love him a lot. :(
Fourth: Good will towards man, ending of wars/famine/suffering/etc for the entire world. A big Christmas miracle I know, but a girl can hope.
<3 Love you! Thank you for having all my family actually planning to be in the same city this year for Christmas, that's a lovely surprise. <3