Rain

(no subject)

I hate myself, and I hate what i've become. I hate you dear ex boyfriend. I wish you never existed. My world is so cold. I wish someone loved me. I wish someone needed me as much as I would need them. I wish someone went above and beyond for me the way I did for you.. Why doesn't anyone care? I wish someone cared...I wish someone was here with me. I wish I wasn't lonely. I'm tired of being depressed..someone please love me.
Rain

(no subject)

I wish I had never met you. I wish I could go back to the days before you ever called my phone and we became friends...then lovers. I wish you would apologize for everything that you've done wrong to me in the past 5 years of our relationship. Please stop calling me wifey, telling me you love me when you don't mean it. I wish you weren't trying to be my hero. I wish someone else was. I can't believe I wasted so much time on you. You make me sick to my stomache. You make me want to die whenever I step into our(my) home and realize you'll be there. I want so much to hate you and push you out of my life, but I can't. I've become engulfed by your lies. I am powerless under your hugs, and kisses. I hate you so much! Being with you has brought more tears than sunshine in my life. If I could go back and erase time I would wipe you clearly out of my canvas board. God please help me get rid of this man..he emotionally uses and abuses me and I let him do it.
ps my dear fiance: you make me feel down right disgusting..
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Lies

R-

You make me feel worthless every time you lie.
It's as if I'm not worth having you tell me what I deserve to know.
You break my heart every time you tell me a fabricated story.
How can I trust you when you say you love me?

MORE! MORE! MORE!

MORE! MORE! MORE!

Hey guys, Thanks for your help so far, but now that we've got the ball rollin, we gotsta keep it goin! We want your letters, good or bad, old or new to publish on our site (pswhatiforgottosay.blogspot.com check it!) If you wanna send us some cool hard-copies or art or a dirty sock (with a ps of course) you can send it to our P.O. box...those are our favorite!

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K.DULL
po box 266
new york, ny 10113

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new york, ny 10113
70's Kat

Open Letter to a Former Friend--X-posted

Dear Boy,

I haven't broken up with a friend in a very long time. In fact, I can't remember the last time I broke up with a friend. Sure, there have been friends that have drifted away and/or with whom I have purposely lost contact, but the hang up/ignore/stomp your feet/it's over kind of break up doesn't happen for me. Not with friends.

And the funny (funny tragic more than funny ha ha) thing about it is that you are the first person that I fell head-over-heels in friendship-like with since I was a teenager. I always say that it is so much harder to find that connection with people when you are an adult. Something about unconsciously protecting yourself from what turned out to be a cruel, cruel world filled with cruel, cruel people. I let down my guard with you. I think you did the same. And it resulted in a intimacy rarely paralleled in my life.

For a time, I was consumed by you. Texted till my fingers ached. Talked till my lids were weighted and my ear sore. Intertwined our thoughts until I couldn't figure out whose was whose.

But it's over. I realize you are young. Know that you probably don't fully realize how to treat (women? friends? I'm not sure). But I cannot let myself be this vulnerable to another person who will make me cry. Who will stomp away and ignore me like a petulant child. I can't remember how to deal with that anymore, and I don't want to.

Imagine that. I sound so strong. And yet, my days suddenly hold an emptiness. A space that was once you and thoughts of you. I have to constantly hold back the urge to text you or call you to tell you...anything. Any little thing that happens to me in my day. I'm trying so hard to find peace in your absence, but it's a struggle.

To have the threads that once held me so close to you snap has left me breathless.

Love,

Kat
Sophia

How Sad I Am

 My, Oh My how I'm still reeling from you. It is a year later and in many ways I'm at a complete stop. The motivation that I once had for myself is just a whisper in a fleeting wind. The happiness I once had is a mere trickle from what was a great waterfall. *sigh* I miss you more than I am still willing to admit to myself. I still have problems believing that you are gone and this isn't some elaborate trick designed to fill some inconsiderate whim. 

I feel so bad. I think about you so often that I feel guilty about it.I just feel so bad. I've kept it so close to my heart that it hurts. It's hurting my life, but I just can't let it go. Even though I thought I was ready to move on to something new and hopefully better, I was wrong. I see this now. 

I can't get over being mad that you are gone. I can't get over being sad that you are gone. I can't get over the disbelief that you are gone. I can't get over the questions surrounding why you are gone. So many people are still devastated by your leaving. How could you? 

And I know that it had to be meant in the Grand Design. I know that for whatever reason you had to go and that it wasn't up to me and no matter how it looks, it wasn't really up to you. I want so badly just to talk to you one more time and know what made this happen. 

It's been so long, but not so long at all. I miss you so much it still hurts at times. I think about you and I hope that you know I think of you. I hope that you realize that you had a power over me that I hated that you had. I hope that you know that power was love. I never said I wasn't complicated. 

Missing you still.....-A-

Andy.

Andy,
I swore to God I was done with you.
Swore I'd never talk to you again.
Promised myself I'd never listen to one more bullshit lie.
But here I am. You're single, I'm single..
This isn't going to be good.
But one thing about you..
Is you can get me to jump without thinking.
You say just what you know I need to hear.
I can play hard to get, but you know you have me.
Might as well accept it. Right?

(no subject)

Dear My Loser Ex Boyfriend,
 
   If I tell one more person that I'm completely over you.. I'm officially a pathalogical liar. That's probably an understatement. I hate your girlfriend, it feels like she's kissing MY boyfriend, but I know I'm just being stupid. Writing a letter you'll never read is probably rock bottom but does it matter? Eventually I'll find someone else and move on and hopefully forget you ever exsisted. But love doesn't work like that, does it? Not after two and a half years of inside jokes, random date nights, vacations, parties, me kicking your ass in the batting cages, pictures, letters, poems, me teaching you to ride a dirt bike, your Napolean Dynomite faze, you cutting out of school to bring me McDonalds at work, the presents, the everything. None of it's going to go away. It's been four months and I'm fine. I had plenty of boyfriends, in four months. They don't last long because they're not you. But now I'm falling for Danny, and it's scaring me because I don't want to let you go. I don't want to think that twenty seven months is gone forever. But I can't hold on by myself, I have to say goodbye. But you stopped listening a long time ago.

Stacey.

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