realitygrl88 (realitygrl88) wrote in _brokenxlies_,

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Cause I hate the way I feel tonight...

Hey, all. How's everyone doing? Hope ya'll are hangin in there. Anyways, down to the purpose of this post:

Lately I've been really bouncing back and forth between being very high/alright/happy to being very low/depressed/sad. Its like my mind can't seem to make a decision. My moods have been changing within like hours and sometimes within like minutes, and it just really bugs me out. I hope I'm not regressing again. Its like that whole 6-month-ish cycle will never end. Every six months at most for the past couple years I've landed myself in the hospital for suicidal stuff, and I can't seem to break free of that. Six months is coming just around the corner, and depression & suicidality are knockin at my door again.

I guess I'm just kinda hoping someone out there could tell me exactly what to do to prevent this from happening, but I have this feeling that no one but me will really be able to answer that. And I have no idea what the answer is. *Sigh* Any suggestions? You'd think that 3 years or so in therapy would give me the answers, but its only given me a few keys to a door that has many key holes. Heh. But I guess I can work with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Therapy stuffs and see how that works out. If anyone wants to know about DBT, you can look at this entry. And, as for Cog. Therapy, I dont really know too much about it yet, but I can refer you to a book called
Feeling Good by Dr. David (I *think* that's his first name) Burns.

Anyways, I hope all of you are well. *Hugs to all*

<3, Emilyanne

Ps. On second thought, maybe I'll just try to sleep it off and work on DBT/Cog. Therapy tomorrow. I'm wayyy too tired at this point. *Shrug*

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