Last thing I remember was B slammin' that knife into my gut and me droppin' off the rooftop, everything after that is pretty much a giant blur. Feels like I've been doin' nothing but dreaming and really I can't say I'm complainin' but I am getting a little bored here. I feel my eyes start to flutter open and then something... something cold and burning rushes through my veins, like I'm bein' drugged or something. Sometimes late at night I see myself but it's not really me yano? It's me layin' in a hospital bed all hooked up to beeping machines and IV tubes, bruised and broken. I laugh because it can't be me, I am not one to just lay down and fuckin' take what's given to me. I'm not broken anymore because I'm the Slayer and I do the breakin'. Part of me though, every once in a while will sit beside the broken me and coax her to wake up. Scream for her to wake up. Beg and cry for her to just open her god damned fuckin' eyes. Never, she never listens and that burning in my veins is all I feel before she becomes a fuzzy memory. I know I have done bad shit but I don't regret a single ounce of it because it was what I was pushed into, I didn't go willingly. Oh no, I blame B for all this. She was the one who kept pushin' and shoving me away from her and her little super pals. Drove me to the Mayor who I dream about most. Drove me to shoot that arrow deep in Angel's chest because I was sick of bein' second best. I'd been that my whole life and I wasn't gonna take it once I was called. Slayers are never second best. These were my thoughts most of the time, my dreams I guess because that girl layin' in the bed was really me. B'd messed me up wicked bad and this was my apparent fuckin' destiny.
"Think it's gonna rain?" I looked over at the Mayor as we did our usual hang out in the park and have a picnic dream, had it so many times I could tell you it over and over. Always ended the same though no matter how many times I tried to make it different. B always came for me. Knife always shinin' as she chased me down until I lay dead in the bottom of that hole, six feet under. Guess I'm meant to stay that way too.
"Nonsense. It's a beautiful day. Now eat your sandwich." The Mayor laughs at me and takes a bite of his sandwich and glances at the sky before lookin' back at me with one of his cheesy grins.
"I dunno. It just always seems like it starts raining about now." I say with doubt, sittin' up a bit just waitin' on B to make her grand appearance and for me to start runnin' for my life. I can feel my heart start to race, my breath hitchin' in my throat. It's like sex but no yummy happy after taste ending. Just me dying in the mud while B pulls herself outta the grave.
"You're too young and too pretty a girl to start wearing worry lines on your face." He smiles at me like he loves me and in some sick demented way he does, I'm his firecracker and no one can make that different. Not even B, no matter how jealous she is. I watch as he picks up a little snack from the corner of the blanket and smile, keepin' my eyes locked on that space where she always appears. "Hey there, little fella. I dunno where you belong, but it's not here with us. There you go.Y'see, there's nothing gonna spoil our time together. Who wants cheesecake?"
I let out a laugh and look up at him as I stuff the last bit of my sandwich in my mouth knowin' soon I'd be running away from this pretty little scene, happy little picnic. I know he visits me so I'm not so lonely because sometimes I get wicked lonely starin' and screamin' at myself to get my ass up. I sit up fully now and pull myself up to my knees gettin' ready for her, feels like she's runnin' late as the Mayor looks at me confused. He sets the piece of cheesecake in front of me and I screw up my face and look down at it confused.
"This isn't right, Boss." I glance at the pattern on the plate and look at the chocolate sauce drippin' down the edge of the cheesecake for a second, not too long because she must be trickin' me. She's not gonna trick me. I bring my eyes back up to that all to familiar spot and I don't see anything. I mean nothing. No B, no knife comin' toward me to wreck my ass all over again and make sure I stay wherever it is I am. I stop for a second and realize this has happened before but it usually ended in me screamin' at myself in that bed, I never found out what was different. I stood up and glanced across the grass when I saw something in the distance move, almost like a fuzzy television kinda blink but there was something there. Someone.
"Faith your cheesecake's getting cold." The Mayor's voice sounded so fuzzy and distant and when I looked back down at the blanket spread out there was nothing but rotten food and the knife B stabbed me with stickin' out from the center of a pig's head. I cover my mouth and stumble backward fallin' into that grave I know well. Rain is hittin' me so hard and heavy as my fingers dig desperately at the mud slick walls. I can do this, I can get out of here. I let out a frustrated scream and throw my arms up to the sky crying, askin' why. Why won't she just let me be!?
"Faith... your cheesecake's getting warm." Says a woman's voice from beside me but I'm back on the picnic blanket, mud still clingin' to my flesh and I jump to my feet pullin' the knife out of the pig's head. I point it down at the blonde woman comfortably loungin' on the blanket, everything rotten and gross gone leavin' just the blanket and her. "You really shouldn't let it get warm, it'd be such a waste. Do you know about waste, Faith? I do. I've been watching you from the woods." She points out in the distance to where B normally appears and I look at her confused, backin' up slightly.
"You're not supposed to be here, she is. She's supposed to kill me. I deserve that." I said quietly and gripped the knife tighter not knowin' what was going on.. Part of me was thankful B wasn't here chasin' me down but the woman on the blanket was seriously wiggin' me out, who the fuck was she? "What the hell are you doin' here? Don't you know? Know that she comes from there- always, she never forgets." I look at the woods and I feel the knife shakin' in my grasp and I feel the blonde woman carefully pull the knife from my fingers with a smile that is either comforting or wicked freaky.
"She didn't forget. She just remembered, remembered you don't belong here." She smiled warmly and stood staring out into the woods almost like she was darin' B to show her face. "You belong elsewhere Faith and I'm here to help you get back, here to help you realize that nothing she says or does can keep you here. You're a Slayer, Faith. You're strong and powerful just like her, she doesn't get to judge you. Who is she to pass judgement when she shares the same sins?" I watch her as she steps closer to me and I look down at her, she's about B's height. Maybe this is a trick, maybe it's B just under that skin and she's gonna fool me and that knife will wind up in my gut again.
"Stay... stay away from me." I back up protectively and never take my eyes off of her. "You're just lying to me to get me to think you're not B. Nobody ever comes for me but her! You can't trick me I won't let you." I feel my legs aching as I run faster, harder, faster... anything to get me the hell away from her. I can already feel the blade of the knife run through me, warm blood colorin' my shirt and my fingers glide slick through it as I yell in confusion twisting and turnin' to see where she is. I knew it! I back up against a tree and press against the wound even though I know it's no fuckin' use. I'm gonna die, this is it. I cry out and press hard against the warm blood pumpin' from between my fingers, layin' my head back against the tree which is much softer.
"Let me save you, Faith." The woman's voice says from behind me and arms move to my hands pullin' them away from the cut and blood. I scream and struggle against her but I can barely move. I'm dying. I can feel it. Everything's startin' to get fuzzy and fading out, I can barely hear the woman talkin' softly in my ear. Stronger. Better. Revenge. I feel myself gasp and feel the scratchy bark of the tree diggin' into my shoulders as I hold my hands up to see the blood I deserve to spill except there is no blood. I'm not dying. I stand up fast and look around for the woman but I can't see her but then I do. She's flickerin' in and out of focus, appearing and disappearin' faster than I can keep up with, her body moving so fast across the field and out of the woods. I pull myself to my feet and I start runnin' after her stopping only to wait for her to reappear to me so I can follow her, smile on her face and her hand coaxin' me to follow. Everything gets wicked bright and I fall to my knees on the edge of the field and a loud beeping fills my head...
My eyes flutter open and I gaze up at a small fluorescent light above me. I'm confused. Moving is so hard I almost don't even try it but I know if I dont' I'm gonna lose sight of that blonde woman, the one who wanted to save me. I sit up and begin jerkin' tubes from my arms and wires from under my gown, lookin' around carefully as my feet swing from the edge of the bed and my toes connect with the cold tile. I am breathin' hard already and I'm so tired, wicked tired. I have to get out of here and find her, ask her how she got B to go away. My eyes focus and I start takin' in my surroundings when I hear a small noise from a dark corner of the room, my body stiffens and I swallow hard. Is it her? B? I feel tears sting at my eyes. I'd made it this far and I'd be damned if I was gonna just let it be her and fuckin' die. My fingers dug into the sheets and I watched carefully as the small blonde woman stepped out from the darkness.
"Wh-who are you?" My voice didn't even sound like mine as it croaked out of my throat.