Tags: quarterlife crisis


Feeling my age

I'm really feeling my age this year. I'll be 26 in March and I am NOT happy about it. It's depressing *single tear* That's 4 years from 30, 14 from 40! In 2 years it'll be my high school reunion! It's all too much for me right now. Especially since I have nothing to show for it but sweat and tears.

Yet, I still feel very young, around 16 or my late teens at best. I think I'll probably always be this way. I just can't "act adult." My brain doesn't pick up on that. How long do you think I can hold off having to wear those ugly, frilly granny clothes? With the sequinned vests and odd-colored pants?

Going To Be 25

My birthday is coming up. November 10th.

I don't know if I'm young or old. It's a scary feeling. My big sister just got married (Oct 22). She is 22 months older than I am. Guess what that makes me think a little too hard about?

The mikveh lady actually asked me when it would be my turn. Ugh.

I have serious misgivings about being 25. I'm not sure I want it. Can I refuse when it's offered?

I'm sure some of you will understand.

I'm not quite sure I enjoy being in my mid-twenties.  It's such an akward phase.  I'm no longer in the comfort of my parents home.  I am on my own.  The bills are in my hands.  If something needs done, it's my responsibility.  I fend for myself.  I'm also not in a stable, well-paying career at this point in my life.  I don't have a college education.  I'm not settled.  I'm in the middle.  It makes thing really hard being in school, finding time to work enough, paying bills, and studying.  I know it will pass, but for the time being it sucks.  I've always been finacially stable up until this point.  And now I'm broke-ass.  You should see fridge.  It's a joke.  All I have is beer and apple sauce.  I guess it's all part of living and learning though.  I know things will work out eventually.  

That's all. 


Does anyone feel like an adult yet?

Hi, fellow Roosters! (We're all  Year of the Rooster, right?  I know I am, but the Chinese calendar is lunar, not solar).

I was born Sept. 21 in Manila in the Philippines.  I'm not looking forward to later this year, when I'm finally a quarter of a century old.  If I live to the average life span of 80 years, then that means almost one-third of my life is already over.  How did that happen?  I still haven't done anything spectacular yet!!  No deeds of derring-do, no duels over beautiful women, no forging of my soul in the crucible of war, no miserable depths and no dizzying heights -- in short, none of the things I thought would happen to me when I was a kid have actually happened yet.  Ok, I didn't really think they would happen to me, more like fantasized.  Instead, I've racked up a bunch of respectable but ordinary accomplishments: graduated undergrad, got into grad school, found a place for myself, stayed ahead of my bills, did my taxes on my own, cooked and cleaned for myself, and so on.  In short, I'm living as an independent adult.

But I certainly don't feel like I'm grownup.  Instead, I could swear I'd just gotten out of high school.  Which isn't entirely true, I know I'm a completely different person than I was in high school.  And when I look at the undergrads I TA for, I sometimes ask myself, "Wow, was I ever so naive?"  But being the TA that the undergrads look to for help, I've finally realized that my TAs were probably making it up as they went along, just like I am now.  And that goes double for everything else in my life.  But where's the self-assurance I always thought adults had?  Where's the confidence and wisdom all of the grownups I'd looked up to always seemed to have?  When is it that I'll finally know everything I need to know to get by in life?

Sorry to be so rambling and existential, but it just kind of bugs me that being grownup isn't as cool as I'd thought it would be when I was little.  Sure, I can stay up as late as I want and eat whatever I want, but I know I have to get up tomorrow morning and that transfats are bad for me, so I end up going to bed early and avoiding junk food anyway.  Not that I really mind, I just wish I'd had the freedom to do these things before I knew better.  Now that I do know better, I'm not really interested in them anymore.

So, back to the point of my musings.  Who here can say with little reservation that they feel like an adult?  I'd really like to know.  And additionally, what is it about being grownup that strikes you as really different?  In my case, it's the fact that I'm constantly thinking of how much food I have in the pantry and what I'll need to prepare dinner.  What about you others?

Quarter Life Crisis

Is anyone else going through a quarter life crisis? I graduated from college a year ago with a BA in english. Now I'm working full time at a bookstore and even though I like my job I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. Other people have more prestigious jobs that pay WAY better. I still live at home, partially because I can't afford to move out and partially because I'm terrified of being out on my own. I'm thinking about grad school but I'm terrified about that. I'm not in a relationship and haven't been for some time. I don;t feel like I need to be in a relationship to be complete but I do feel like I'm missing out on something. When I think about the future I just can't see anything. Most of my friends are coupled up so no one is available to get an apartment together or really do anything with, so now I feel like I should be partnered up too so that I have someone to be with. I just feel like I'm doing all the wrong things and to compound those feelings are my mothers friends kids who are all around my age and doing spectacular things like writing for tv or starting their own businesses or getting mariied or having kids. And then theres me, doing basically the same thing I was doing when I was sixteen except now I have a degree. Am I all alone here or are there other people who feel like there should be more but don't know how to get from where they are to where they want to be?