Tags: is this normal?

princess

Feeling my age

I'm really feeling my age this year. I'll be 26 in March and I am NOT happy about it. It's depressing *single tear* That's 4 years from 30, 14 from 40! In 2 years it'll be my high school reunion! It's all too much for me right now. Especially since I have nothing to show for it but sweat and tears.

Yet, I still feel very young, around 16 or my late teens at best. I think I'll probably always be this way. I just can't "act adult." My brain doesn't pick up on that. How long do you think I can hold off having to wear those ugly, frilly granny clothes? With the sequinned vests and odd-colored pants?
myface

Going To Be 25

My birthday is coming up. November 10th.

I don't know if I'm young or old. It's a scary feeling. My big sister just got married (Oct 22). She is 22 months older than I am. Guess what that makes me think a little too hard about?

The mikveh lady actually asked me when it would be my turn. Ugh.

I have serious misgivings about being 25. I'm not sure I want it. Can I refuse when it's offered?
Bronson

I'm sure some of you will understand.

I'm not quite sure I enjoy being in my mid-twenties.  It's such an akward phase.  I'm no longer in the comfort of my parents home.  I am on my own.  The bills are in my hands.  If something needs done, it's my responsibility.  I fend for myself.  I'm also not in a stable, well-paying career at this point in my life.  I don't have a college education.  I'm not settled.  I'm in the middle.  It makes thing really hard being in school, finding time to work enough, paying bills, and studying.  I know it will pass, but for the time being it sucks.  I've always been finacially stable up until this point.  And now I'm broke-ass.  You should see fridge.  It's a joke.  All I have is beer and apple sauce.  I guess it's all part of living and learning though.  I know things will work out eventually.  

That's all. 

stoked

(no subject)

Does anyone else look much younger than 24/25?  I'm not really complaining because it will be nice when I'm in my 30's and older.  I just think it's funny when I go out and people assume I'm 18.  I love the reactions I get when I tell them that I'm actually 25.  Recently, I was purchasing cigarettes at a gas station and the cashier made the comment that I didn't look a day over 18.  And the man behind him said, "no, I bet she's 17".  Most people guess that I'm 18 or 19.  The oldest I get is 22...and it's usually by someone who's drunk.  Out of my brother, sister, and I everyone thinks that I'm the youngest when I'm actually the oldest.  I have yet for someone to guess my actual age. 
bunny

Does anyone feel like an adult yet?

Hi, fellow Roosters! (We're all  Year of the Rooster, right?  I know I am, but the Chinese calendar is lunar, not solar).

I was born Sept. 21 in Manila in the Philippines.  I'm not looking forward to later this year, when I'm finally a quarter of a century old.  If I live to the average life span of 80 years, then that means almost one-third of my life is already over.  How did that happen?  I still haven't done anything spectacular yet!!  No deeds of derring-do, no duels over beautiful women, no forging of my soul in the crucible of war, no miserable depths and no dizzying heights -- in short, none of the things I thought would happen to me when I was a kid have actually happened yet.  Ok, I didn't really think they would happen to me, more like fantasized.  Instead, I've racked up a bunch of respectable but ordinary accomplishments: graduated undergrad, got into grad school, found a place for myself, stayed ahead of my bills, did my taxes on my own, cooked and cleaned for myself, and so on.  In short, I'm living as an independent adult.

But I certainly don't feel like I'm grownup.  Instead, I could swear I'd just gotten out of high school.  Which isn't entirely true, I know I'm a completely different person than I was in high school.  And when I look at the undergrads I TA for, I sometimes ask myself, "Wow, was I ever so naive?"  But being the TA that the undergrads look to for help, I've finally realized that my TAs were probably making it up as they went along, just like I am now.  And that goes double for everything else in my life.  But where's the self-assurance I always thought adults had?  Where's the confidence and wisdom all of the grownups I'd looked up to always seemed to have?  When is it that I'll finally know everything I need to know to get by in life?

Sorry to be so rambling and existential, but it just kind of bugs me that being grownup isn't as cool as I'd thought it would be when I was little.  Sure, I can stay up as late as I want and eat whatever I want, but I know I have to get up tomorrow morning and that transfats are bad for me, so I end up going to bed early and avoiding junk food anyway.  Not that I really mind, I just wish I'd had the freedom to do these things before I knew better.  Now that I do know better, I'm not really interested in them anymore.

So, back to the point of my musings.  Who here can say with little reservation that they feel like an adult?  I'd really like to know.  And additionally, what is it about being grownup that strikes you as really different?  In my case, it's the fact that I'm constantly thinking of how much food I have in the pantry and what I'll need to prepare dinner.  What about you others?
princess

Unwilling to let go...

Is anyone else still clinging, rather sadly, to their childhood?

I can spend hours listening to 80s/early 90s music or watching movies like The Labyrinth or Land Before Time, wishing desperately that I could go back in time and stay there. I go out of my way to find/buy things I can associate with my childhood/teenage years (toys, CDs, anything). I don't like the idea of being an adult. All I want is to "go out and play" or simply do nothing at all and not have to worry about grocery shopping or other "adult" things.

It feels like it wasn't so long ago that all of this happened. It feels like just yesterday I was in preschool, high school. It almost seems natural to stand at a bus stop and get on with my Care Bears lunchbox, as if it were any other school day, even though I'm too old to do so anymore. Like 15 years was only 2 days in length. Know what I mean?

It hurts even more when I see friends/family that I've known since I was little, suddenly go to college or get married. I have a close friend who wants to move to England to be a nanny, a childhood friend who just had her first kid, and a younger sister who will be moving to Chicago soon to pursue a fashion career (it feels like just yesterday when I told her bedtime stories). I almost want to scream, "Have you forgotten who you were? Don't you remember when we used to "Big Wheel" around the neighborhood, or play Barbies? Why am I the only one who hasn't changed, who still cherishes these things?" I almost feel betrayed.

Am I crazy? I just feel unwilling to accept my adulthood, even though I know I should (and that makes me feel miserable).

Quarter Life Crisis

Is anyone else going through a quarter life crisis? I graduated from college a year ago with a BA in english. Now I'm working full time at a bookstore and even though I like my job I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. Other people have more prestigious jobs that pay WAY better. I still live at home, partially because I can't afford to move out and partially because I'm terrified of being out on my own. I'm thinking about grad school but I'm terrified about that. I'm not in a relationship and haven't been for some time. I don;t feel like I need to be in a relationship to be complete but I do feel like I'm missing out on something. When I think about the future I just can't see anything. Most of my friends are coupled up so no one is available to get an apartment together or really do anything with, so now I feel like I should be partnered up too so that I have someone to be with. I just feel like I'm doing all the wrong things and to compound those feelings are my mothers friends kids who are all around my age and doing spectacular things like writing for tv or starting their own businesses or getting mariied or having kids. And then theres me, doing basically the same thing I was doing when I was sixteen except now I have a degree. Am I all alone here or are there other people who feel like there should be more but don't know how to get from where they are to where they want to be?
mirror

(no subject)

it's weird. being 24. high school kids look really young. yet i don't feel like it was honestly all that long ago. even college kids seem younger. many of my friends or kids i knew in high school are married, or engaged. some have kids of their own. i'm not sure i'm even ready for maariage. i have a regular 8-5 job. i am looking to buy a house and get a dog. i have less free time for photography, hiking and going to the beach. i follow a budget.

when did all of this happen? and does it seem weird to anyone else oujt there? that we're actually considered pretty grown up at this point?

December 16, 2005

Today is my 24th birthday.


Are we all 24 yet? I was thinking... I'm pretty much where society/my parents told me I "should" be at this age, right? Got the degree, going back for another one soon, entry level job in my field, great relationship probably going to work out... and I'm STILL terrified. I'm also unsatisfied.

Has anyone checked out the "born in 80" or "born in 82" sites to see if there's any raging differences in cohort culture?