slowly_dying003 (slowly_dying003) wrote in _bloody_sorrow_,

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i try to see the good in life...but good things in life are hard to find

well i used towrite in here under Slowly_dying000..but that account was deleted. and i thought for some stupid reason that i would never need to write in here again becase once again i believed that everything would be fine....but once again i was wrong. im so naive adn dumb sometime. but is it that wrong to want to have something to believe in?

anyway things bagan spiraling out of control about a month ago. i give myself credit for staying someone sane. anyway. i lost my bf, and he was also my bestfriend. after we broke up he wanted nothing to do with me...i was crushed. then, things at home began gowing downhill. i began drinking alot to erase my problems and it got so bad that about 2 weeks ago i ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and attepted suicide. yes and thats not bad enough, i didnt remember trying to kill myself. so now i am afraid of my own thoughts. its funny how the things that keep us sane will eventually cause our insanity. anyway...i dont know what else to do..i picked up a razor today and i was so tempted to...i dont think i can go on not doing it much longer. somethings never change. my life hasnt changed so why should i? i havent been eating much either, its just that it doesnt seem worth it..nothing does. i want to just feel myself slowly breakdown into nothing because all my life that is what i told i was...NOTHING.
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