And for a while I didn't even think about it.
But lately I'm getting the urges again.
And they're becoming more and more frequent.
I know eventually I'm just going to give in.
I don't want to fuck everything up again.
I don't want to cause myself problems so I can be the one who's hurting.
Because that's one reason I do it.
Or at least that's how it starts.
I hate seeing others around me hurt, so I hurt myself too.
And then I cause myself more problems.
Hurt myself more.
I don't want this.
I want to be able to cry again.
I want to be able to just let shit out.
But I can't.
And I don't understand why.