slowly_dying000 (slowly_dying000) wrote in _bloody_sorrow_,

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lost and confused...the usual

Ahh another stressful day. school will be starting soon for me, and by soon i mean next week monday. *sighs*.

i dont know if i can do it this year. he was the last thing i had, he literally helped me get through most of my dark days. and now i wont have him why? because i couldnt help him get through one of his...his last one.

Mother and I had a huge arguement today, infact we are still fighting only instead of using words we are yelling "i hate you" in silence......silence in my opinion is more hurtful.

i hate being the daughter she cant help.
i hate being the one who has failed.
i hate feeling like this (but i love it at the same time)

but most of all i hate not knowing whats expected of me, or who i am as a person. everyone around me is having life changes for the better, but not me, no i am standing still unsure, and afrai to do anythign

is that it am i afraid? of what...myself?

so many questions need to be answerd...

this past week has been hell on earth for me. i havent had time to welcom sleep and i havent consumed any food. i feel drained. its like my body is withering away and i see it but i refuse to alter is course.

i cut myself so much, that i begin to wonder how muchblood i have left.
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