I don't even know what to say any more except that I just cut again for the first time in a while.
I've never really quit.
The longest I've gone is ten months.
But I don't know if I'll ever stop for good.
And that scares me.
There are so many people I care about and who I know care about me that this hurts too, but it just gets unbearable. I either lie in bed crying all night or I cut and somehow find the peace of mind to drift off to sleep.
It lets me feel drained.
I don't cut on my arms any more because I really don't want people to see.
But now my upper right thigh is a mess.
I don't even know why I'm upset.
I just feel empty.