slowly_dying000 (slowly_dying000) wrote in _bloody_sorrow_,

hmmm rant?

well i guess im still here, yea after he died they found a note saying he didnt want me to go through with the plan and that if i still loved him i im not. but i guess that means i'll have so suffer day in and day out without someone to confide in. this is going to be hard, i can already feel myself breaking, i look in the mirror and i dont see me anymore...but then again i never reakky saw the true me *shrugs*

well i went back to cutting, its all i have now. i suppose i longed to feel the razor on my skin and i longed to watch the blood leave my body just like the pain that i was trying so hard to release.

i went to the doctor today and he saw my cuts that were recently made and he was like "u know pl cut because they are going through some kind of pain" when he said that i was thinking "no shit sherlock, im glad u learned something in med school" but yea see thats why i hate doctors and shrinks, grr

im serious how can u help someone when all u know on the subject is what u learned in school, or read ina book, it doesnt add up, not everyone is the same, not everyone falls under a chapter in some book. this isnt like building a model airplane, there is no instruction manual.. and thats why i joined this community because this is where ppl can go and talk to other ppl whio CAN to all the ppl who are willing to help anyone from this community Thanks...u guys are the only ones who can get it, and u dont need some fancy degree to understand the tings i go through....

Thank you
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