1. name? Chris
2. age? 19
3. gender? Female
4. location(country and city/state/village)? Georgia
1. how long have you been cutting? for almost ten years
2. and do you actually want to stop? yes
3. why/why not? because it isn't healthy and it really just causes more problems in the end
4. do you cut line's or words? lines
5. have you every taken a pic. of it? yes
6. do you have any rituals? not really
7. what do you like best about cutting? the immediate gratification, the pain, the blood
8. are you ashamed to be a cutter? yes and no
9. what do you use to cut? exact-o blades, razor blades, knives, scalpels
10. are you happy with what you use to cut? yes and no, sometimes i wish for the same amount of pressure i could get a much deeper cut
11. have you been diagnosed with anything? yes, PTSD, BPD, and Major Depression
12. by whom? Doctors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists
13. do you self diagnose? sometimes
14. what would you say you had if you had to diagnose yourself? the list i already named
15. are you on medication? yes
16. what kind/s? anti-depressant called Cymbalta but my psychiatrist is planning on changing that soon
17. do you self medicate? yes
18. do you purposely take more/less? which? depends on my goal but more often more
19. ever been in psych hospital? yes less than a week ago
20. what for/how long? attempted suicide/4 days (i manipulated my way out)
21. have you tried to commit suicide? obviously based on previous question
22. do you still have those thoughts? at times
23. have you ever needed stitches? yes and staples once
24. are you afraid that one time you might slice too deep? not really
25. has anyone ever stopped being your friend because they found out about your cutting? no my friends have been supportive
26. what happened with that? N/A
27. what is your worst experience relating to cutting? Cutting while i was with a g/f at her parents' house in Blue Ridge and i needed stitches so she took me to the ER there and the doc noticed my other scars, said nothing to me, grabbed my arm and put ten staples in it. I felt like a lab rat, like i wasn't a human being.
28. what has been your best experience with cutting? Just the immediate gratification but that is short-lived
29. would you ever do sadomasochistic stuff, like getting your partner to cut you and vice versa? yes i would. i would love for a partner to be comfortable enough to do that to me
30. do you fantasize about hurting others in anyway? no, not really. i don't like/want to hurt others-just hurting myself.
If yes, How?
31. and would you like to really do it in real life?
(Do you think you would?)
32. what about killing someone? A few men in my past.
33. do you dream of that? I have.
34. could you do it? Doubt it. Regardless of what "they" have done to me, i don't think i could.
1. why do you want to join this community? support. insight.
2. do you have any heroes? If so, who are they and why?
3. out of.. Money, work, school, relationships, what is the most important to you? relationships tend to take priority, but i have always excelled at school.
4. what do you like about yourself? not a whole lot
5. what do you dislike about yourself? too much
6. if someone could describe you in one word, what would it be? crazy?
7. most embarrassing moment? busting my ass in the locker room during swim practice and having to sit on the pool deck with a huge bag of ice on my ass for the rest of practice.
8. tell us something we don't know about yourself? i am a going to graduate this May with my BS in Biology and hopefully will be attending med-school in August
9. why should we accept you? b/c i will support others whole-heartedly that are in this community