I can't answer your question, for it is the same I am asking myself for a long time. I can just tell you how I am feeling about this:
I often wish to change things, nearly every day. I often have this feeling that I fucked up my life... no, I more often have the feeling that I am about to fuck up my life, but I have now idea what idea to do about it. It's scary, I'm sitting there, knowing that I shouldn't do this and that I'll hate myself for it later, I know
this is wrong this to do or say, but I can't help myself... And then it is all too late.
But I got to now that most of the time, despite how guilty and bad you feel about it, it isn't as bad as you think. This won't help you, I know, but believe me - in 99% of the cases everything will work out. And it doesn't matter if it is illegal or not, the feeling stays all the same.