Renee (wantneedrecover) wrote in _away,

My first post here...

Hello all, my name is Renee, I'm 18 years old. I live in NY.

My mother died before my first birthday, and though strained, the majority of my childhood was good. I was sexually abused, and have a few less-than-pleasant memories of my father due to his drug use. He isn't using much these days though, so that's good. My relationships with family members are all very complex. But if I told you all about that here, it would eat up the whole page and probably scare some people away.

When I was 11 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and separation anxiety and put on Prozac. I had been suffering before that. The real change hit about 3/4 of the way through my 5th grade year. The Prozac gave me migraines so we switched to Zoloft. I was in family and individual counseling. Seventh grade showed progress, and I was weaned off of the meds. But by the end of the 8th grade, things had worsened again and I began to self-harm. I cut mostly, but preferred burning. Entrance into the 9th grade only made things worse. Eventually I was given the diagnosis of clinical depression again, this time put on Paxil - which I had a severe reaction to - and then Celexa and Klonopin. I didn't like my psychiatrist, she didn't listen to me. Or my father. My family had known all along that I didn't just have depression but that I was bipolar. I started to see another doctor, and we must have tried a million different medications. I miss him. He was the best psychiatrist I've seen so far.

Anyway, the diagnoses I have now are:
Bipolar II
Schizoaffective Personality Disorder (in connection with the bipolar)
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Generalized Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

I am on Seasonale birth control, Cymbalta 30mg, Trileptal 450mg, and Ativan up to 2mg.
I have therapy once or twice a week and see my psychiatrist once a month.
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