(no subject)

so yeah
fast is broken cause im a fat w.hore

ive eaten an apple and 10-15 ricecakes and 2 diet cokes today
walked to the shops for my diet coke breakfast again
mum doesnt allow diet coke in the house cause she knows if its arroun, that would beall i would eat.
so i have to go to the shops when shes at work to get a can :<

im never going to loose weight
im going to be fat forever
esepcially if i eat ricecakes and fruit and veg :<
i dont deserve any food


this community seems pretty dead.
for those of you who wish to remain a part of this community, and actually still read it, comment to this or otherwise be deleted off the members page.

any suggestions as to keep this thing alive, or make it betteR?


I am so tired tonight. I'm not sure why, lately I haven't had alot of engergy. As much as I love summer it seems to drain alot of my energy.Anyway I rediscovered fitday today and I love that site. Its so helpfull because it keeps track of everything I want it to. The movie hunger point was on tonight and I love that movie. Its so sad and yet I understand shellie so well. She never really wanted to recover and yet living with an ed, living her life wasn't possible either. The only thing that kind of kicked/tickled my pickle were the pro-ana sites because they weren't in the book. I just realized something this weekend there have been a ton of ed movies on tv, last night there were 2 and today 1. I mean usually there isn't even one on. I wonder why theres been so many on lately. Maybe a conidence? I'm sorry this post is so random. Thats what happens when your tired....

I suck

I had a great week, but I must have failed somewhere. Why? I actually got my period today, I diddn't get it last month and was hopping not to see it yet. I don't know why it makes me feel so much like a faulure. Its such a normal thing and yet I hate it, I feel so dirty when it comes. Well anyway, what do I do? I head right back to the food to b/p. arg why is food the first thing I think of? And purging the second. Its strange you know, how most people who say binge are refering to alchol (at least in my family) but I always mean food. Oh I have one piece of advice to anyone who faints easily - don't take your blood pressure at the store. I did yesterday and I almost fainted in the store (I got really lightheaded). Not much else, I'm not interesting (nor is this post but)....