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Relationship Venting and Advice

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Seeking advice on living together, compromise, and animals [26 Nov 2013|09:45am]

bluefalconchick
Mainly animals, specifically dogs...Collapse )
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[20 Feb 2011|02:06am]

qingri
[ mood | frustrated ]

I have a few confusions, but this is one i've just posted on girlsaskguys.com.

Over the past year, one of my best friends has started talking to me less and less, but only when he has a girlfriend.
At first there was no difference between when he did and when he didn't. But recently he's been speaking to me less and less.
It's been a lot more noticable with his current girlfriend, becuase he walks to and from school with her, so I barely ever even see him! She also makes him sit with her at lunch; once, my friend wanted a quick word, and he had to say a couple of tiimes "I'll be right there" she was a row behind us.
I think I can tell she doesn't like me. When he introduced us properly, I smiled and said hi like I would to any one else. she just sort of stared at me then spoke to him.
Honestly, incredibly rude when you think I was, in a way, fuelling their relationship at the time. He was writing, and I was helping him with it, he and her were obsessed with the fandom he was writing about. (they even use the characters names) -.-
I guess maybe I am sick to bloody death of mushy romantic stuff but I've watched all my friends be in relationships for years and I've had none. :/
Update: I haven't done or said anything about it!
If I did I know that we both would know I don't have the right. I, a constantly single girl, saying what's abnormal in a relationship? It wouldn't be right.
Update:
I can be quite posessive, but I can't help it.
All but him and another have been good friends who have never hurt me, let me down or made me feel like I don't exst to them.

I have a guy telling me to leave him alone and let them get on with their relationship (we barely speak as is... so am i supposed to?) and that if i liked him i should have made a move while he was single (first move for the first time? on top of the fact it'd be the first relationship i've been in where other people would know - my ex and i decided to keep it secret, as we'd both be bullied for liking the other)
And a girl telling me that if i do keep 'pushing' his girlfriend maybe he'd realise how controlling she's being (I told her i did see him with just her and her friends more often that with his friends)
I don't think the resposes could have gotten less alike or more extreme!
My girlsaskguys profile is here i have a few questions up, literally all about him. I know i'm not dealing to well with feelings, but its been the first time its taken precidence in my life. I've always been more mature than others in my school, and it feels like i'm only just being hit by hormones. -.- the one downside to finally having anti-depressants that work. I'm not worried about my family like i was before so my mind has gone "Look at him!"
Its so damned confusing!

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Recent Breakup, Need Advice and Support [05 Sep 2010|01:33am]
day_by_day22
[ mood | drained ]

Hello,

     I am new to all this blog stuff, I just signed up with LJ today so I have a place to say how I really feel about things and get advice if anyone has any. I apologize if I seem to go off on a long rant, I'm really hurting right now....
    
     Sooo....

     I've been with my now exboyfrind for a while. We met, we clicked, and we became best friends very quickly. We get each other so well and can talk about anything. We were best friends for many months before both of our relationships went to Hell at the same time. His had been almost 4 years, mine was 3. We went back and forth for a month trying to decide whether to jump right in to something new, or to wait and give ourselves time to adjust and be ourselves for a while. We ended up beginning our relationship about a month after our others had ended. He still questioned things at the beginning, but we made it work. Things were great, we did everything together. We make each other laugh all the time, and we're happy together whether we're going to concerts or just snuggled up watching a movie. We were very deeply in ove very quickly. The love we felt in our past relationships was nothing compared to what we felt for each other.
     He injured his back and has a bulging disc now. He is often in a lot of pain, goes to a chiropractor, and physical therapy. He hasnt been able to work as much obviously, so now money is an issue too. Neddless to say, he is stressed. I am stressed too, with applying to schools and working, I always seem to be running late, and I have some bad days. I am stressed too. Our stresses effect each other as well, so not only are we trying to deal with our own problems, but each others as well. He also has a few issues with my past (before I even knew him I was raped/taken adantage of by someone I still see every once in a while through one of my close friends) and when this invidiual pops up it upsets my now exboyfriend a lot. We've talked about it a few times, but its a new situation for him and he doesnt know how to handle it.
     Almost 2 months ago he broe up with me saying he needed to work some things out, get his health issues taken care of and deal with the issues he has about my past. It tore me up. We were both miserable and talked the whole time. About 15 hours later he came to me with "I'm stupid, I'm so sorry. I want to be with you and I will never do this again." He bought me a beautiful promise ring for my birthday, white gold with 12 diamonds, and he went through and made a promise for each. Everything from quitting smoking to marrying me. He did quit smoking shortly after and things were great again.
     Things were actually going very well I thought. Until about a week ago. I was late (as usual) getting to his house and he sent me back home. Said my lateness was too stressful for him and he couldnt deal with it. From then on if I told him a time Id have to be there by then or stay home. The next day we worked together (my last day at that job and my last day working with him) and things were very weird. He tried talking to me, but I didnt know how I was supposed to act because he had seemed so mad and upset the night before. I wa shoping on my last day I could walk out of there happy with the one good thing I got out of that place : him. But instead work went slow and horrible and we left and went our own ways. That evening I went to my friends to give her her birthday present and that guy who raped/took advantage of me was there. I went to my boyfriend's afterwards and he asked if that guy was there. We have a very honest relationship and dont lie, and I told him that that guy was there. We had a rough night talking about that issue, but we got through it and went to sleep. The next day we slapt in, played around, wii fitted and had a great time.
     The next day I got out of class at 2:30 and went to his place. He was very upset and said he needed time. Time to deal with his issues and mine. He didnt want to leave me again, but he said he had to. His mind was going through a lot and he needed time to be him and deal with everything. He also said we both needed time to be ourselves and find ourselves since neither of us had been single since about our mid teens. We both cried and were very sad. I was shocked because it seemed to come out of nowhere after a day that I had thought was amazing. I went to class and we texted each other when I got home. I was hurting and made some mean sarcastic remarks and the night ended horribly. The next day was a bit more talkative and nice, but overall still very sad. I didnt tell anyone we broke up because I was still hoping he would do the same thing as last time and decide to be with me again. Around my family and friends I acted as if I was fine, while I was falling apart inside. The next day I went to see him after class for a few hours before he went to work. We laughed and played and even had sex. Things were giggly and playful and we still said we loved each other and such. After he got out of work I went over again and stayed the night. Same thing next day, happy and sex after class, spent the night. It was like nothing had changed, we were still together in my mind.
      Then yesterday, on a break from class he said he couldnt do it anymore. It was as if nothing changed and he was still having the same thoughts and stressors as before. I left class early bawling and went to his house. We talked more about it and it was the forst day that the word "over" registered to me. I had been acting fine, in my head we would be getting back together. But we werent, and I was NOT fine. He says he still loves me and theres a chance of being together in the future, but right now he needs time for him and we have to deal with just being friends again. He says to hope for the best but plan for the worst. Best case, we get back together. Worst case, I still have him as a best friend forever. He is just such a big part of my life and I love him so much. I understand where he is coming from, but its still very hard for me. I can barely eat, I cant sleep, and I cling to my phone like a freak. All I want is to be with him but I know I have to wait and give him his space. If I guilt trip him back into a relationship right now it wont be healthy for either of us and this would just happen again in another two months. I want him to be able to work all his stuff out so he can be with me again. Im just afraid that he will find that he is happier without me and decide to never be with me again :-( Im scared and confused and lost.

      My question is, do you guys think the chances are good that we will get back together? If I give him the time he needs, based on our great past and amazing friendship do you think this will end happily? Thats the only thing I have to hope for right now. He is the most important thing in my life and I dont want to be without him. All I want is to be with him and be happy with him forever.

Any advice or input is welcomed. I appreciate it.
Thanks

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[17 Feb 2010|09:29pm]

blonde_1031
[ mood | sad ]

I'm new to this community but I need somewhere I can vent about my recent relationship problems with my boyfriend..
Some things happened between us and ever since all he has done is treat me like crap and walks all over me..
I'm so tired of the way he talks to me, Can you honestly say you love someone but still be so verbally mean??
I'm sick of him thinking he doesn't have to tell me anything but I have to tell him everything or he's up my ass about it, I'm just tired of him being like he is to me.
He's the one who decided to continue to be my boyfriend which means even if I did hurt him he can't just treat me like shit all the time now cause hes still mad
I'm sorry but he either has to get over it or admit he can't handle being with me anymore and move on cause I would rather not stay in a bad relationship anymore..
I just wish things would go back to how they use to be and I hope that this new attitude of his doesn't slowly get worse..
He thinks that all of our problems are just going to fix themselves but in reality we will have to put effort into it, both of us, and I'm not sure he even wants to..
He has apsolutely no motivation to do anything else so I dunno why he would have any now
How can I feel comfortable about moving in with him in a couple months if we can't even get along now?
We went from never fighting to fighting pretty much everyday..
What happens to people??

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New here [04 Jan 2010|01:28am]

wynterslove
[ mood | blah ]

Well, I decided to join this community because lately I've been having really bad venting and ranting episodes with some friendships and an ended relationship. While I write about what's bothering me, I still feel like I'm being suffocated from everything because I don't share my journal with my RL friends because they'd just use it against me and while my ex is the only person who has access to it, he stays far away from it because he has little interest in my life these days.

So, I decided to do some online searching instead to see if I can find some people who don't mind reading what I've written. As a quick summary behind my recent ranting, in the course of three months I've lost half of my friends and my boyfriend because I have a mental breakdown out in public. Those friends have since then declared that I showed a private emotion in public and they want nothing to do with me. And to add to it, they basically dragged my boyfriend into it and caused so much tension in that relationship that I was left with breaking it off because the stress was causing internal harm to my body. And while my ex and I decided to keep a friendship, he basically treated me as an invisible individual and couldn't even come to my birthday after he told me he would...he couldn't even tell me he wouldn't be making it in the end!

Yup, that's most of it. I've got a couple of RL friends that have been putting up with my emotional ranting and crying lately, but when it comes to my hateful ranting...I don't have anyone to really go to.

So that's basically it. I hope to hear from someone

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New guy seeking friends and advice. [28 Jul 2008|11:05pm]

emptyhearted29
[ mood | lonely ]

   First off let me introduce myself. I'm a 29 year old male living in Memphis,TN. I have been in this relationship for almost 4 years. Before the relationship I was married and my wife left me for another man. I really jumped into a relationship TOO FAST but I did it anyway. My gf likes to play online and roleplay in games like World of Warcraft and things of that nature, well, she was doing that and about two months into the relationship i found out she was getting on webcam for a guy and they were having phone sex and it just killed me.  I already had trust issues and then that just made it worse and she would get upset at me because i wouldn't trust her. She would always tell me nothing was going on and yada yada yada. Fast forward to 3 years and 4 months later she has continued to roleplay online and she developed a crush on another guy. I was really  paranoid then and a day later she tells me that she was flirting with him and they talked about sex with each other and all that crap. Rewind to a couple days before, we argued for three hours about how I'm not sweet like i used to be and I'm always grumpy and in a bad mood and for the past few days i've been sweet to her. 
      I recently got a promotion and we had to relocate to the Memphis area. She hasn't worked since the end of May and she yelled at me the other night blaming me for all her failures and yelled " Why did I throw my life away for you?" First off,  that broke my heart in the worst way possible. Secondly, she spends all day long sleeping or playing online. I do just about all the cooking and probably 85 percent of the cleaning. I can't count on her to do anything. It's been that way for most of the relationship. Her life isn't very hard. I received the promotion and am currently able to pay all the bills with my salary including rent.  She has a problem with a guy that loves and wants to spend time with her. Today, she woke up early enough to take me to work because I need to replace to the brake pads on my car. She then comes home, plays online all day, I pull some strings and can get her a good job with a decent starting pay and she would work monday through friday no later than 5 p.m. and weekends off. She isn't excited about it or nothing, doesn't thank me or anything. We come home tonight at around 6 p.m. and the entire night she's on her computer roleplaying and ignoring me. I feel so alone in this relationship. I know what my heart is tellling me to do  but i don't want to be alone and I do love her but there's only so much one person can take. I have no one to talk to at all so i keep it all inside. 
      I know i have my issues. I'm paranoid, I don't trust her, I'm insecure but I love her and would do and do just about everything for her. I've been encouraging her to keep her head up when looking for a job. I told her to take her time because with my salary i can pay all our bills and we're ok. We have no money to go out or anything but we have a roof over our head and food on the table and the bills may be a little late but they are getting paid. I'm not mad or upset in anyway that she hasn't got a job yet. What i'm upset at is she'll put in one application or do one interview a day and then come home and sleep or play on the computer. Someone please talk to me, tell me what i'm doing wrong, what i need to do differently and I wrong about everything. I don't know what to do.
 

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Helpp;ish gackt. [20 Apr 2008|12:11pm]

chicasmania
[ mood | confused ]

I'm new to "relationships" normally I go for flings. becuase I hate the attachments and all the bad hurting crap.
Theirs a guy that has come into my life. That I would figure to be something new to me other than a fling. But yet with all the crap,
it has become complicated. I told him how I felt, it seemed to me he didn't feel that way at first, to be honest thats fine by me. No
big deal. It became akward and both of us avoided each other until I got the courage to just go talk to him, then it went back to us being
the best of friends again. A party arose and he could not keep his eyes off of me. I was told the possibilities that he may be re-thinking the whole ordeal, or he likes me. The whole thing is just confusing me. It's been a little bit since i've told him, and i've tried to move on. Obviously still having a bit of feelings still for him. But just trying to concentrate on another person which, can be good/or bad. But he now is akward again which seems to me, and I dont know what to do or what to say to him, or just get back to normal and leave it be and move on so help me becuase i'm new to this whole complicatedness. erk = [ 


-Confused = [ 

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Girl killed...help us find the man responsible [01 Mar 2008|12:14am]

painterofroses
http://www.lindsayannhawker.com/

Lindsay Ann Hawker was a care-free 22-year-old following her dream of teaching English in Japan when she was brutally murdered.

Lindsay was last seen on the 25th of March with 28-year-old Tatsuya Ichihashi and her body was discovered on the balcony of his flat in Tokyo. He remains the Japanese Police's only suspect and is on the run.

Click link above to view the article and see a picture of the man who killed her. Think about it people....this could one day be your girlfriend....sister....friend...daughter....please help find this man. And girls WHENEVER a suspicious man is around don't ever doubt your instinct!!!! Call the cops...even if you feel your over reacting and being stupid...it could save your life!! Please send re-send this link to people...livejournal is a huge connection for people and it could be what helps find the man. If you ever wanted to make a difference in life do this small thing for her and it will make a difference....Know one deserves death like this!
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"sigh" numbness again [23 Jun 2007|08:49am]

painterofroses
[ mood | nothing ever changes. ]

I'm not angry or really sad just...numb...i'm used to being disliked for no real reason at all. I'm used to being talked about and regarded as nothing by people...and i'm used to my boyfriend's parents doing it to me too. I've been in this boat before...with the over bearing, overly religious parents...to them i am this disgusting thing,...this evil person trying to steal their precious son away. Doesn't matter that they've never bothered to try to get to know me, except when they "without" my permission looked me up online and now i have to have everything on private. It doesn't matter that they don't even say hello to me when i enter the house with him, they just talk to him and ignore the fact i'm even there. His mother is polite to me, but it's fake kindness i know...and his fathers just ignores me tries not to act like i'm there. It doesn't even matter because no matter what i do or what i say or how i act...i am the enemy to them. So i give up, i sit in silence and take the mental abuse...why not you know...i'm so damn used to it. He tries to comfort me...because i wont speak only cry...but his mother is waiting for him to come home so that way they can have a "discussion" Even though they just spent the last 2 1'2 hours on the phone arguing about it at my house. His father calls him up here insulting me and him because...frankly it's because i'm bisexual. Thats really why they hate me...and when he found out that he had herpes the first thing they did was point their ugly finger at me...even though i don't have it. I've been checked out before i met him and again after we found out he had it. And i don't have herpes. But i'm sure they still believe that this slut of a girlfriend who clearly isn't one with god is the one that gave their precious son this. As long as ross is still a wonderful sweet guy...who i've been falling in love with and treats me with respect and honesty. Than i can deal with his parents being the way they are with me. It hurts though...to know that no matter what i'll always be this..tainted thing in his life to them. It doesn't matter that i'm a good kind person who helps others, it doesn't matter that i try to always think of others feelings before my own. Nothing like that matters, because i don't believe in karma....because i've spent my whole life thinking before i speak so i don't hurt others feelings, and watching what i do and making sure i do whats right and nothing i do will "on purpose" hurt others. And knowone ever does that for me i've noticed... Of coarse i've hurt people but if i could avoid it i always did...i don't gossip and i try to always think of the good part of people even when i clearly can see they don't have their head on their shoulders. And when i told them i work with autistic children in a special needs school and plan to become a teacher,...they just nodded their head and didn't care...I mean it's like nothing i say matters at all...like who i am doesn't even matter. I've spent my own life trying to hard to please others and i would get hurt so that others didn't have too, but i stopped being that hard on myself because it was just self destructive but i don't feel like i deserve this type of treatment from them...i don't feel it's okay to treat anyone that way! "sigh" i can't even speak up about it because the last relationship i was in with this situation...as soon as i spoke up...suddenly i "was" the bad girlfriend and the parents were right. So this time i just keep my mouth shut and all i can do is cry when it gets really bad.

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help! [12 Feb 2007|12:53pm]

walkingpower
I need advice. I am about to change my cell phone number and never call my boyfriend of only 4months, again. i1030ts really complicated, but please try to help. I met him at a loud dance club and purposely bumped into him. we danced and had lots of fun, but i noticed he looked alittle foreign. he said he was from Jordan(a part of arabia) i just thought he was so cute. We exchanged numbers but i wasnt planning on answering, his accent was really bad.
At the same time, I was trying to get over my boyfriend of 5years. He had not only cheated on me in the past, but i also was pregnant and miscarried. He is verbally abusive, my family hates him, and i couldnt move in with him because of that. I just wanted to move on.
So 'Mo'(this guy im breaking up with)kept calling and i wouldnt answer(he left a message and sounded so bad). well i finally answered and we got together that following weekend. the remaining month consisted of him picking me up around midnight because he works till 1030pm.and drinking in the car! then ending by coming up to my apartment. this was ok w me because in a way it was fun.
well as time goes by, i get to know his situation.he is 23, im 25(not a big difference, but i dont know) he lives at home with his biological father and stepmother(who is mexican..i couldnt believe that because they are muslim and seem very strict dating and other religions. his father controls him! He would tell me he was coming over and then call and say he couldnt. this happened several times. although he is very goodlooking and very sweet, the entire time i m thinking this is a waste of time and i ll get hurt. We never went out on a "real date" because of his work. he works everyday at the dads shop. 12-10pm! in the meantime, i had to get on birthcontrol because i dont think he was sexually experienced and i was afraid i could get pregnant.
anyways the entire time, im still talking to my ex and seeing him sometimes i felt guilty but it was a 5year relationship and he has his own house. i know what people think but i was at the same time exhausted w mo who i just constantly ran around with, never just really relaxed sat down. by the way, his father would constantly be calling his cell phone when he was with me. he would have to lie and say he was at the 24hr gym. incredible.
He never told his father about us. so. then friday he gets introuble again because we all went out to a bar (he his cousin me and his cousins gf) then later got a hotel and stayed. he must of gotten in so much trouble that the father decides to tell him he needs to get married (arranged) and they set it up, have him meet girls etc.
he tells me he said no not right now. but hands over the phone to this man he calls his "uncle" who is from their country but is friends w the father.
this is the part that really really hurt me because i knew it was over. his uncle says look im sorry this is happening but i was talking to his father and hes been getting into trouble so much staying out etc etc so he is going to have to get married.
i talked to mo and he was still denying it. well ive really had it.
so im going to change my number, he had said last night that hed think things over and then call me today but i want for when he tries to call for the number to be unavailable and leave it a mystery what do you think??help me!!
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[20 Jun 2006|12:05am]
lana__lana__

I just want to know what you think of this.
How do I sound: desperate?  Lonely?  Like I've had a revelation?  Trying to communicate?
Anything...I am just really curious of what you think of this.

Sorry for the spaces and page breaks...and I did this to the names: -----.

And, I'm sorry for the lack of background information.
If anybody's got any questions, I'll try to follow up on them ASAP.

Thanks!

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Come join the fun!!! [06 Apr 2006|07:43pm]
sourgushers
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+ love have no race nor gender. We don't discriminate!
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+ and much much more!

Hope to see you there!!!!
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just broken up [11 Feb 2006|01:20am]

ladygold
I just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months, we have been fighting for a while and the topic of breaking up kept comming up.

I do still love her but she cannot control her anger and yells and swears when she is upset, there was also only one way to do things to make her happy and that was always her way.

There was alot of control issues present and attacks to me as a person, i was never actually called stupid but I was told things i did were stupid or that I was smart for my age (i'm 25 she is 37) if she actually called me a name i would have left but since it was hidden i thought it was true and my self-esteem slowly but surely was going away.

actually she broke up with me first through e-mail because i would not answer the phone when i told her i needed some time before i talked to her.

now since i am not crying and begging for her back she is turning it around again.

my question is how do people do this, i haven't been the one to break up in a long time and even with all the crap i put up with it hurts me that she was crying and that she feels pain about this.

I never wanted her to hurt, I lost alot of my strength during this relationship and I think it scares her that i am not doing the usual bawl and saying sorry but actually being strong anf that hurts her.

This was someone who I actually wanted a life with and now i hurt her and that hurts so much.

i don't know what my question was anymore:(
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All right Ive just joined!! [12 Jan 2006|02:18pm]

nanasekitty

I love talking about relationships and giving advice, even though 70% of the time, I find myself needing advice. Me and my bf have been dating for almost 3 years next month, and it's a ROCKY ROAD!!!

 Please gimme some advice!!Collapse )

So, whoever took the time to read and/or comment, I really appreciate it!! I feel like I really need it!

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[06 Jan 2006|02:57am]

eviscerational
[ mood | worried ]

I just joined. I'm not quite sure what urged me to do so as I was actually skimming through communities with interest in S&M, but “relationship venting” caught my eye. I'm not sure if resorting to the Internet for help with my relationship problems means I'm pathetic and incapable of rectifying my own troubles or just really bored. Of course, no offense intended.

Where to start? I'm in a fairly dysfunctional relationship, for lack of a better word. I'm not positive I even know how to summarize all of the events that have occurred and shaped my current state of mind. I'm an un-medicated bi-polar, so I don't trust myself much when it comes to big decision making. Most of my negative thoughts are all zealously extreme and spur-of-the-moment angry girlfriend ranting type stuff.

Sorry if this is really run together and jumbled bits of information. I don't write so well at four in the morning.

I've been with my boyfriend, Seth, for what's two years now. I moved in with him back in June. He has a couple of issues. He's twenty-two, an ex-heroin addict/cokehead and also has some financial problems. He can be a real bastard sometimes. He yells a lot for no reason and is insanely jealous(understatement of the year). He hit me once, but I can't hold that against him since he's never let himself forget it and hasn't done anything of the sort since. Before he was with me he used to be somewhat of a sex-addict in the loosest context of the word, as he'd go out and have sex with random and complete strangers three times a day at the least. He also had a very dysfunctional childhood and isn't one of the most mentally right or stable people. From what I know, his parents were very demented. They literally ignored him. They never so much as spoke to or looked at him and they punished and yelled at his sister if she even acknowledged he was there, referring to him as her imaginary friend, saying there was no one there and she was embarrassing them by talking to or paying him any attention. He really isn't fond of the silent treatment.
Of course, his good qualities all override the bad ones.

Back in early October (we had already started a daily ritual of arguing long before then because I had went away with my parents for a while and stopped talking to him over a huge misunderstanding courtesy of this psychotic girl, Noemi, who's in love with him, but yeah) he was struggling with falling back in to habitual drug-use, had recently found out he has stomach cancer and had been receiving radiation therapy that also affected him emotionally. He cheated on me, but it was a one-night-stand, he was drunk and high at the time (I heard a rumor that clouds your judgment), he told me the next day and then begged for my forgiveness. I told him I was more concerned about him doing drugs again rather than cheating on me. I made him swear never to touch any drugs or alcohol again, and told him if he wasn't able to do that I was going to leave him. Shortly after that my birthday came up. We celebrated it, but I ended up telling him that when we first met I had lied to him about my age and was actually fifteen when we started dating and only recently turned seventeen whereas he thought I was nineteen turning twenty. He didn't take it very well. After that I left him alone for a few days by his request, and when I came back I first noticed there were two huge scabs on the undersides of either of his arms. If I brought up anything relating to us, what the fuck happened to his arms or what was going on with him he wouldn't respond — he'd act as if he didn't hear me. He still hasn't told me what happened to his arms and the marks are still vaguely there, but we did discuss the subject of my age and the fact that I'm jailbait and he established that he doesn't care and still wants to be with me. So we were good for a short while again after that, but the cancer started getting rapidly worse. He was having unbearable abdominal and back pains and nausea and had to stop showing up for work. Then his best friend he's known since before puberty, Alain, was fired from his job and evicted from his apartment, so Seth offered to let him stay with us. He's recently found another job but is still staying here until he sorts out the ‘place to stay’ part.
Seth's bisexual, so Alain and him used to be in a relationship but broke up because Alain had an affair with another girl, but now Alain says he's in love with him again. Seth says he doesn't have any feelings for him especially after the way their relationship ended, but I don't know. It was tons-of-fun of awkward tension after he moved in. Alain was very clingy with him, though Seth didn't act affectionate back towards him, and it bothered me. But, the cancer kept getting worse and at the beginning of this December he was hospitalized and is now receiving a mixture of the radiation and chemotherapy treatments.

Right before he was hospitalized he brought up this silly shit about how he's such a worthless fuck-up and I'm better off finding someone of my own age because all he's going to do is ruin my life too, but I know for a fact breaking up with him is the last thing he wants me to do.

I noticed something else that really concerns me. Also before he was hospitalized and unable to leave the house, he was gone a lot more, he hung around with his drug dealer friend Etienne a lot more and he had a significantly greater amount of money on him. I remember some guy came to his door once and seemed really distressed, saying something about money and Etienne and then him and Seth went outside to talk. I wasn't able to hear any more of their conversation beyond that. As I said, he's had a lot of financial problems so I'm not sure if he's dealing drugs now to pay it all off or what. And if he is, him being around drugs and being an ex-drug addict doesn't comfort me much.

I talked to Alain over AIM recently (we actually get along when Seth isn't around) and I told him that I was seriously contemplating breaking up with Seth basically because I can't handle all of his crazy antics. I have left much out from this entry as I lack the ability to coherently piece it together and not have it be ridiculously long. Alain, to my surprised, actually tried to talk me out of it. I didn't understand his reasoning at all at first, but he let me in on everything Seth has said in regards of me and showed me a log from a previous conversation he had with him where he basically said he was worried that I was going to break up with him and was considering killing himself if that happened. Not in that exact wording, it was much less ‘emo’ shall we say, but he basically said he doesn't see any point in his life apart from being with me and thinks he's useless to society because he dropped out of high-school. He said his life feels like an extended epilogue and he's not attached to anything here other than me that could possibly convince him to tolerate being alive. Then he said, in response to something Alain said, that he didn't say he had plans to kill himself any time soon, he was only bringing that idea in to play if I did in fact end up leaving him, which he was most obviously hoping against. Then Alain asked why he wasn't going to tell me that he was suicidal and he said the only thing telling me will do is make me feel guilty and compelled in to staying in the relationship.

And now the last time I went to visit him I also found out he's been hurting himself, which is extremely out of character for him. As is all of his talk of suicide.

I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing or how I ended up here. As I said, I'm only seventeen and he has some really serious problems that I just can't help with. Especially if he's dealing drugs. I don't know what to do. I basically feel powerless.

He's been getting worse since the chemotherapy started. I think it's hurting him more than it's helping. The cancer keeps spreading and now his back and neck are bothering him along with his stomach. The neck thing is usual since he broke his neck a few years back and has had problems with it ever since, but according to the doctors he's been in a drastically larger amount of pain. They have him so doped up on painkillers that when I go over there I can't even talk to him. Otherwise I probably would've already discussed all of this with him.
I love him but if and when he does get better, I think I want to at least have a trial separation, maybe just take a break from things for a little while, but I don't know how he'd react to that. I don't even know if he's going to get better.

On top of all of that, it turns out my mom's neighbor works at the same hospital where Seth is staying. My mom left a message on the answering machine saying that the neighbor called and said she thought she saw me being ‘intimate’ with an older guy at her job. My parents are under the impression that I'm living with friends right now.

What can they do in that situation if they were to find out, anyway? Legally, what would happen? Especially considering the fact that he has cancer. They can't send him to jail when he's in need of medical treatment, life or death situation.
I don't know exactly what the legal consequences are of being in a sexual/romantic relationship with someone underage.
But, then again, I can always play it off as the neighbor is out of her mind and has no idea what she's talking about.

Alain says we both need to get on some meds.

6 comments|post comment

I am having some trouble [20 Dec 2005|09:23pm]

lady_angelique1
I was with my fiancee for two years and he and I where suppose to be getting married in less then three months. We just broke up only a week ago today and the thing is that we are both starting to regret it. We use to fight all of the time, about stupid stuff really, and at the same time we shared some of the most amazing points of our lives together. We still love eachother more then life itself and EVERYONE that we know is telling both of us that we are stupid for allowing it to came to this and that we where the perfect couple. So my question is... does anyone have any advice to help us to find a way to make this work?

Angelique Sephiroth
1 comment|post comment

My friend is having a problem [25 Nov 2005|12:25am]

lady_angelique1
My friend is having a problem with her boyfriend and once I told her that I was in this community we both thought that this would be a good place to go.
She has been with a guy for three months and he is beginning to treat her badly. He is going days at a time without calling her, hanging out with other girls more then he is hanging out with her and she has reasons to suspect that he is smoking pot again. Now keep in mind that she loves him dearly and does not want to give him up for anything, but she cannot seem to find any other alternative.
We would both appreciate it if anyone could help. She is heart broken and I am tired of seeing her so sad. She has a beautiful smile but is to sad right now to show it off. Please help.

Thank You,
Angelique
3 comments|post comment

I am in doubt... [18 Nov 2005|03:18pm]

lady_angelique1
I am having a serious problem with my fiancee. I think that he is fooling around with someone else. He has done this before and lied to me about it for three months even though I knew that it was going on. Now I love this man with all of my heart and the two of us have been though a lot togeather so I am appauled at the thought that he may be doing this again. It broke my heart the first time that he was being unfaithful and I do not think that I could put up with it a second time. I have noticed stange numbers calling the house at all hours of the night that he says are wrong numbers. There are outgoing calls on his cell phone to numbers that I know does not belong to a friend or relative of his. I have told him several times that if he is honest wih me that we will find a way to work things out, but if I find out in the long run that he is lying then I will not even consider staying with him. I will just go. I am starting to think that he does not believe that. Please, does anyone have any advice??? I am not sure if I should trust him, or how I could go about finding out if he is or not. I do not think that I can count on him to be honest with me about it. Can someone PLEASE help me?!?

Angelique
3 comments|post comment

Am I right or in the wrong? help! [15 Nov 2005|08:42pm]

eyesofanangel83
[ mood | sad & dissapointed ]

This is long. I’m so sorry but I really need your advice so bear with me and read it pleaseeeeeee!!!!!

Ok here is the convo and info... I moved back to the US months ago but he's Europe preparing to move out here. We talk online and we just got into a huge fight cause I was really sick and stayed up all night in pain. So I slept all day cause I was so tired. He was mad I didn’t SMS him to let him know I was ok. that day my mom barrowed my cell cause she dropped and broke hers. Without asking cause she didn’t want to bother me. He had a fit cause I didn’t return his SMS but I was sleeping and didn’t have my phone anyways. He fought with me and was really rude and only cared I was so selfish to not msg him.

the day after I told him I was going to wait for him to come home so we could talk and I would wake up early cause the time difference. He never came, he never SMS me or called me. Finally 5 hours later he told me he went to his families house for the holidays and couldn’t msg me cause when he got home the net was down and no credits on the cell. Ok that’s fine of course but couldn’t he have told me that the day before when I said I was going to get up early and wait for him to get home??? Come to find out later I catch him in a lie, he said the net was down. Then the next day he says he didn't message me cause he didn’t want to talk cause he was mad at me for sleeping when I was sick.

He has lied to me many times in the past (not for cheating or anything like that) a Few he admitted and the others I had to find out for myself. Everytime i forgave him and learned to trust again even though it was difficult. Each time when I was comfortable again I found another lie that he calls white lies even after he promised many times not to lie to me ever again. Here’s the convo

PLEASE COMMENT AND TELL ME IF I DID THE RIGHT THING

~Melih says:
hi honey

~Melih says:
how are you

Meg says:
I wanted to talk to you about something bothering me

~Melih says:
tell me

~Melih says:
what do you wanna talk about honey

Meg says:
ok first off

Meg says:
i don’t want to fight

~Melih says:
ok? I don’t want this to turn into an argument so pls don’t

~Melih says:
ok

Meg says:
its just bothering me since we fought and its giving me a problem now

~Melih says:
what is it

Meg says:
The day you got home from your families house on the holiday

Meg says:
you told me something that was not true. you didn’t realize at the time

Meg says:
you told me the net was down, that’s why you didn’t msg me or anything

~Melih says:
when

Meg says:
I just told you

Meg says:
pay attention to what i'm saying

~Melih says:
I don’t remember what happened that day

Meg says:
why is that melih?

~Melih says:
I don’t understand why you are still talking about something in the past

Meg says:
stop

~Melih says:
and I don’t remember what I said

Meg says:
I told you its bothering me I cant stop thinking about it till I tell
you what’s the problem

Meg says:
because I’m having trouble trusting what you say because of it

Meg says:
find a solution

Meg says:
so listen

Meg says:
you want to help fix it? then don’t start a fight

~Melih says:
there was a net problem

~Melih says:
today yes, but not that day

~Melih says:
thats true

~Melih says:
you cant know what there was here ,better than me

Meg says:
listen! let me finish because you get me more angry

Meg says:
after that day

Meg says:
you told me that you didn’t come because you didn’t want to, because you were angry. you admitted the net was not down, it was because you were angry

Meg says:
since then

Meg says:
I feel I cant trust anything you say

Meg says:
I cant know when your telling the truth and when your not

Meg says:
so

~Melih says:
you had the same problem here, with the net

Meg says:
I need you to find a solution to this

~Melih says:
you saw it with your own eyes

Meg says:
melih you admitted to me there wasn’t a prob

Meg says:
you were angry

Meg says:
don’t change your story again

~Melih says:
I have more important things to find a solution at the moment

Meg says:
this is why i’m having a hard time believing what you say

~Melih says:
Megan I really dislike u talking to me this way at the moment

Meg says:
really? more important things?

Meg says:
I see... ok

Meg says:
well our relationship is not important to you because you have better things to do

Meg says:
that’s fine, when your "other things" are done. you let me know when you have time to fix our relationship

Meg says:
have a nice day

Meg says:
speak to you later

Meg says:
bye for now

~Melih says:
if I cannot solve my problems happening here there will be no relationship

~Melih says:
so nothing can be more important than this at the moment

Meg says:
melih if I cant trust you, I don’t want you

~Melih says:
ok then don’t

Meg says:
this is why I left before

~Melih says:
I was telling u the truth

Meg says:
so I’m trying hard to have you help me fix it

Meg says:
so we can move on

Meg says:
cause I cant get past it

~Melih says:
when I got home today there was no internet connection

Meg says:
its in my mind

Meg says:
ok today its down... that’s fine

~Melih says:
i have nothing to do about it

Meg says:
but its not about today! its about the other day!!!

~Melih says:
i cannot go back to that day

Meg says:
it was the truth when you told the first time and then you said it wasn’t. Now you say its the truth again

~Melih says:
i cannot change the past

~Melih says:
so what

~Melih says:
what can i do about it now

Meg says:
so what am i supposed to do

~Melih says:
i dont know

Meg says:
ok your fighting see

~Melih says:
just forget about it

Meg says:
I need to help this, not make a fight

~Melih says:
no

~Melih says:
I’m calm

Meg says:
no you want me to forget the issue I have???

Meg says:
you say I lied ok? so what, its in the past! its not so what to me!!!

Meg says:
but again, you want to avoid fixing it

~Melih says:
Megan I’m almost out of time

Meg says:
melih i’m trying hard to trust you everyday after the past and when this happens its ruining it

Meg says:
you want to say there are more important things, but to me this is the foundation of a relationship

~Melih says:
this is not a problem

Meg says:
if there is not trust there is nothing

~Melih says:
you are just making it big deal again

Meg says:
Melih stop

~Melih says:
I told u the truth today

Meg says:
its not about today

~Melih says:
megan enough I don’t wanna talk about this

Meg says:
stop talking let me talk

Meg says:
your creating a problem when I’m trying to find a solution

Meg says:
well you have to talk about it

Meg says:
or you will lose me

~Melih says:
no i dont

~Melih says:
i was working

~Melih says:
ive been working since the internet was back

Meg says:
I’m not talking about today

Meg says:
I’m talking about that day when you came home from your families house

~Melih says:
what can I do about that day? what can I change about that day?

Meg says:
you lied to me why would you do it?

~Melih says:
I didn’t like you at that time

Meg says:
how can you ask me to trust you when you lie all the time?

~Melih says:
I don’t ask u to trust me

~Melih says:
it your choice

Meg says:
well your not willing to help me fix anything

~Melih says:
and I’m not lying all the time

Meg says:
so I suppose this is the real problem

Meg says:
yes you do

~Melih says:
why are u saying "all the time"

Meg says:
you lie so easy, without regret

~Melih says:
I do?

~Melih says:
I’m gone

Meg says:
what was the point of telling me the internet was down? why not just tell me I didn't want to talk to you at that time? or I want to cool down?

~Melih says:
I cant be with someone who tells me that I lie all the time

Meg says:
you do!! and you don’t want to give me a reason to stay and make it up to me

~Melih says:
stop pissing me off!!!!

~Melih says:
I don’t lie all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Melih says:
I’m not a liar!!!

~Melih says:
stop!!!

~Melih says:
stop right now!!

Meg says:
then why did you lie?

~Melih says:
I was so peaceful until I came to talk to u now

Meg says:
what was the reason for lying?

~Melih says:
stop

Meg says:
I need to know

~Melih says:
I told you! I didn’t like you at that time and I didn’t wish to talk to u

Meg says:
it doesn’t matter you didn't like me at that time. If you didn’t then you should have told me that! not a lie!

Meg says:
why lie? what difference does it make to lie?

~Melih says:
to tell someone " I don’t wish to talk to u" is so rude to me and so
hurtful for that person

Meg says:
put yourself in my shoes. I’m doing my best to trust you

Meg says:
I would like to fix this. i would like to see you help me!

~Melih says:
but saying the net was down wouldn’t hurt anyone

Meg says:
it hurt me! a lie is a lie no matter what or how big it is

~Melih says:
its a white lie not to hurt u

Meg says: Its and action and a choice you make

Meg says:
you choose to lie

~Melih says:
I chose not to hurt you

Meg says:
I would rather know you are angry and that you don’t want to talk to me at that time, then know you lied to me again

Meg says:
i dont want lies!! dont ever lie to me!!

~Melih says:
ok next time I wont care if you will get hurt

Meg says:
you know you promised never to lie to me again but you did and im very hurt!!

~Melih says:
I will just tell u I don’t wish to talk to u

~Melih says:
like i do now

Meg says:
and i’m having issues with you I need to get past so I can be with you and not have the fear your lying to me

~Melih says:
you will never get rid of that feeling

Meg says:
I wont if you keep doing this

Meg says:
if you cant stop lying I cant get rid of it

Meg says:
you lied, I forgave you. I learned to trust again and you lie... again!!

Meg says:
its breaks me!

Meg says:
Melih if I keep trusting you and you keep breaking it how can I learn to trust again? im hurting...

Meg says:
why are you doing it I need you to stop

~Melih says:
I didn’t come here for this

Meg says:
how can I marry a man who keeps breaking my trust

Meg says:
a lie is a lie no matter how you put it

~Melih says:
ok then don’t marry me

~Melih says:
I believe white lies are useful

Meg says:
do you see what your saying??? Now I know you lie to me whenever its useful

~Melih says:
the good ones are necessary sometimes not the bad ones

Meg says:
not to me

Meg says:
ok lets say I cheat on you and I don’t want to hurt you so lying is good?

Meg says:
its a white lie, its to not hurt you. Its ok huh?

Meg says:
there is no good lie!!!

~Melih says:
the problem is to cheat not the lie

Meg says:
lying is cheating!! it's cheating on my trust

Meg says:
stop making it ok to lie! its not ok!

Meg says:
put yourself in my shoes

~Melih says:
instead of saying i dont wish to talk to u , i preferred to say that

Meg says:
everyone lies sometimes ok but it's not ok to lie instead of telling me your real feelings! that’s worse!

Meg says:
i dont care what it is your not supposed to lie to me

~Melih says:
Megan

Meg says:
I made it clear in the past I don’t want it

~Melih says:
enough! don’t stress me!

~Melih says:
I was really so calm so and peaceful until I came here

Meg says:
I told you I have a problem. I have a problem I cant get past, I told you before we started

Meg says:
you had a chance to go. you knew what was coming

~Melih says:
ok stop making it long

~Melih says:
finish what you are gonna say and I don’t wanna talk about this any longer after that


Meg says:
you know what I made a big mistake thinking you would care

~Melih says:
i told u that i would not care if you get hurt next time i will just tell u the truth and you are still keeping it long. what else should i say?

Meg says:
excuse me? how about im sorry!! how about i know i promised never to lie again i made a mistake or i will always tell you the truth

~Melih says:
ok if you want it i can say that too

Meg says:
if I want???? I want you to want to say them to me! acknowledge you made a mistake and regret it

Meg says:
feel it was wrong, feel sorry inside your heart your destroying my trust in you maybe even guilty. sorry you hurt me so badly by lying again!

~Melih says:
i just didnt want to hurt u by saying i dont wish to talk to u! Because i think its so hurtful to tell someone but ok i see you prefer me to tell u only the truth no matter what . ok then i will do it ... Sorryyyyyyy

Meg says:
this is your apology?

~Melih says:
yes

Meg says:
you have no heart anymore. You lie to me and i come to you after you lied and give you a chance to help me fix your mistake and this is what i get ?

Meg says:
your sorryyy???

Meg says:
never again! goodbye Melih

~Melih says:
what did you not like about what I said

Meg says:
don’t speak to me again! never again!!

~Melih says:
i just didnt want to hurt u by saying i dont wish to talk to u. Because i think its so hurtful to tell someone but ok i see you prefer me to tell u only the truth no matter what . ok then i will do it ... Sorryyyy!!

Meg says:
your a lier and a heartless man and I never wish to speak to you again

7 comments|post comment

[03 Nov 2005|11:40am]

theweakperish
[ mood | confused ]

i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months. we have lived together for 4 months. we lived in newquay for the summer this year after meeting a month previous. we both now live with my parents and siblings in cov. i did love him but i have never been proper in love with him. as per usual i met someone, started a relationship and now i am gonna break there heart. i dont want to b with him any more. i havnt for like 2 months now. we have good times but the bad out weigh the good by tons! he has some very very scary issues and i have helped him to get help but its such a drain on me. i'm a sufferer of depression and panick attacks but have had it undercontrol for some months now. i dont feel i have it in me to hold him up through all that he has to go through to deal with wot he has been through. if he was just a pal i'd b ok but because we're in a relationship that i dont want its hard. altho i shudnt use it as an excuse not to finish with him, he has a fear of moving back to his parents house as he hates his mom. and the house is a ses pit. it really is disgusting. he cant move bak in with his sister cuz her fella dont like him and he cant go on the housing cuz he owes the council far to much money to b caught by them. he has other large debts that he IS paying off too. but it also makes it very tough for us and me. we cant get a council home. he cant put his name on any leases for rented homes! so basically if he fucked up again i'd be the one in trouble with my name pasted all over everythin. i love him as in i care but not as in i'm in love with him. i am thinking about ending it this saturday. he gets paid tomoro so he'll have money and he can get bak to his parents. i just dont want him to have to. since he's been with me he's changed a lot for the better but i know wen i leave him he will totally revert to his old ways. i am unsure of wot to do and how to do it.

2 comments|post comment

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