• lstout

The Dark Masquerade

Oh beautiful child
How foolish you’ve been
To capture the eye of the
Unseelie king

Older than ages, and cold is he
Whose eyes have seen more than eternity
His inhuman beauty is flawed so they say
When he walks through the forests of winter by day,

The screams of his victim's
Forever replayed
His pleasure, their torment
His nature... depraved
Yet your heart beat came quick
When he glanced in your way
Just to dance in those arms at the
Dark Masquerade

Refuse and deliver
Your life in your hands
He will not release you
By will or by chance
And now he draws nearer
You step forwards, entranced
Now and forever
Unseelie Romance

Safeguard your soul, or hurl it away
Relinquish the longing that lead you astray
Your cheeks they are flushed
Lips parting
Thoughts stray
I begin to think now you forever shall stay
Here in his kingdom
And under his sway

Entrapped by incaution
And forever enslaved
In the Court of his Winter
To the end of all days

Paper and Chalk

Purest white, 
Clouds gone forever gray
Thin white lines
Mark the edges of my sanity 
Ripped and torn,
Loved to death,
I propose an idea
And let it take flight
Written on torn sheets of paper
From my mind
I believe in those words
The ones I wrote so long ago 
With paper
And chalk
I let them blossom,
I let them thrive
Watered, loved and fed them
I watched them grow old
And grey
And finally die
Scraps fluttering about, 
Like ashes in the wind
They were the idle musings
Of a silly, little girl
The symbolic birth
Of her freedom of thought
And the death of the sheep
And watching the flames eat
The chalk and the paper
I feel hopeless
Surely there are things I cannot control
But by committing those simple words to memory
I can bask forever in the simple elegance left behind
Silvery dust,
And tinted college-ruled
 I feel for the words
That died on that day
And letting myself be calmed
I picture them
And it hurts no more

Hospital Wing Voices

Maybe I am as sick as they say
In hushed tones,
Hospital voices
Maybe there is truth in that
I felt the world shudder 
Collapse beneath me
And I am hit with piercing word shrapnal
I am thrown to the mercy of The God
Who really prefers to see me on my knees
If I were to repent
What difference would it make?
I’ve wished to be someone else
I’ve wished for life to cease, for time to stop
I’ve seen my demons, I’ve seen my god
I’ve begged for forgiveness
Screamed for them to stop
I’ve crawled along on dirt roads, I’ve layed upon desert sands
Felt Hells fire licking my neck

I’ve walked among heroes, 
I’ve walked among sinners
I crave cookie cutter houses
Lining quiet streets
With uniform grass growing in place of dead mens hands,
With bony fingers reaching to heaven
With children laughing, playing with false prophets
Knowing nothing of the horror that lies behind their own eyelids
When the dark comes, there are only make-believe monsters
Invisible and scared away by mothers gently singing
Fathers opening the door
I want that,
I want it
Instead of screaming ghosts with coal black eyes
Lips dripping with spilt words, words that don’t make sense
Tightly clentched hands,
Struggling to  hold to slick reality
Cheeks wet with tears brimming with uncertainty, of the terror of not knowing if this is make-believe, or if   I’m a figment of a sick persons imagination.
I don’t want to be sick
I want to be real
I want the ghosts to leave
I want to be  me
I don’t want to see myself from the vantage point of the angels, watching as I lie, day in and day out
When I’m asked if I’m fine, when I say I am
Why am I this way? 
I feel as if their watching me through my windows
Judging me
Taunting me as I play make-believe
Pretending I’m okay
Pretending I’m untouched by their skinless fingers
Unconcerned with the whispering voices at my ear
Witches brews 
Sliding down my throat
Trying to stop the posion before it spreads
Trying to stop the monsters, 
Tearing apart the only place I can feel safe

And I

So here I am, I'm looking for someone. Do you know me, could you know me? Cause sometimes I feel like I'm here all by myself and the bruises they kill me from kisses that stole my heart, I'm lost in the shadows lost inside my heart. Could you bury me would you marry me sir? And I, I don't think I know you, don't think I ever will, cause the memories kill me, the love that once thrilled me. And here I'm writing about kisses that stole my heart. But the pain inside of me damn nearly killed me, I'm lucky that I'm still me. I said girl will you marry me? I'm just a lost soul looking for something. Something to move me, like the wind that shook my tree. I tried to hold her, tried to be bold for us, but she's just a memory locked down inside of my heart. I still wear your wedding ring. I'm waiting for something. And all this pain it damn nearly killed me. Now I'm rolling looking for something. In the house of the man I'm trying to love. But the pain thats inside of him, like the pain thats inside of me. And each night I'm crying cause I feel that everyday he lies. I said I loved you before I saw that your haven't changed and I'm still the damn same singing my sad songs of lovers and friends once passed. I'm waiting for something waiting for someone to reach out and hold my hand. Cause I'm just a fucked up girl with a half assed plan. But all of you that have passed now that I still love you and If I could I'd still reach out and hold your hand. But your just a memory and I'm just a girl that feels. So tell me goodbye as I move on with my life. But know I love you, I still love you, Lord knows I always will.

existing for sunrise colors awakening

is built
on bicycles
two feet balancing
fingers around the body
trailing four green wheels behind
pebble sized dangers bullet out below

it's reminders of the past
sharing laughs about the past
considering worries about the past
forgiving and cherishing what has past

responsibilities prior to it's better than sex
melted fudge chocolate brownie and ice cream
candle lit bar sits a stranger at the end
and everything, the air, is delicious

pirate a pal's pedicab
picking plank while boarding
traveling back in time winding
arriving at the furthermost point
to find the friend worth holding onto

breaking into the bar
the back
catwalk the white picket
climb the beam
gingerly support on platform
foot up a flimsy plate
and sit where the two roofs meet

im jumping down to deck on the otherside surprise
and walking to the wooden stool against the stage
listen to paul sing 'you're too far away to hold'
i grab the logo stamped plastic cup as my trophy
troop out the front tell the gaurds 'remember me'

we meet and reach out the street for drinks
a stranger with my name tattooed to his arm
matches with a name number hooking this fish
learn more about strangers on the bar scene
crushing quarters yellow dots pacman machine

bottled water for free
fed two slices of a star
the fruit is appleyy tart
stay for the conversation
tasting tater-tot throw up

foreign language met music
horny people keep dancing
rolling up and down knees
not me
stylin like fire spinning
teaching movement of mind
friend is trying learning


a pack of punks
the best of key west
roll down duval street
two bikes
three boards
plywood exposed to sky
long deck a snake sketch

there's a race on the way
after i finalize my sing
whistling four morning

two skaters
two cyclists
through floats
shadowed crescents
orange and blues
lampposts and moons

mentally used to seeing speed
cement trembling below me
im an earthquake baby
pounding harmony beat
recorded rare songs
scarcely playing
music missing
speed rising
like a bunny sucked under a treadmill he's down
a general for taking such a beating and regaining

look there is your paradise!
thinking about yellow machines often leaving keys
inside the 24hour convenient beer and cigarettes
with green painted siding and everything finding
its way to the counter cause he drunk and buying

belgian blend, glass bottles and aluminum
fifty dollars for the consuming
shorting traffic one lane on the way back
four left and absent the truth
where is the truth
in our minds
the divine

watching the ravine.
waning the moon.
keeping faith.
in all good.

thoughts hold silent
nights filled freedom
this is the closest
i've gotten to living

soldier to the sunrise
im fighting
to wrestle
ocean waves
with my body
exploring the feeling
as weightlessness
floats in bubbles
salt particles
away from me
cause moving
gaining speed
with webbed hands
underwater eyeballs
scanning the jellies
the minefield will explode
if they sense what im humming

its 6in the morning
a palm tree angled against me
grass feet and wind whisperin
watching venus flap its wings
like a stellar angel flying..

(no subject)

 was wondering if there is  anyone willing to help with critiquing for a portfolio I am putting together. Any suggestions would be a major help. 
message on lj <3 or comment

much love

shaken but not

Shaken but not down

Pale souls seek personal caves,
for today is the day of sun.
A Saturday crowd is on their
way to shake off a memory.
They have come home early.
Now at the parks, paths, malls, movies
and wherever their family
has asked they are playing. With the kids.
With the life. With the thoughts. With the
locks of their love. Now they know how
transitory life is. Specially
as the sound of the Friday bomb
is still ringing in the country.
© 2008 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar


A green pasture. A sheaf of harvest is on
her head, balanced in the way you know. A
lock of coarse hair, boisterous and light brown
obstructing her eyes. Seen her through a glass,
a moving window of a train,
fast disappearing backwards.
Beyond recognition, beyond care.
A vow to comeback to these verdant paddocks
as if a promised land has just been found.

The destination is a city.
At night the avenues, roads and street
throb with light. Electricity.
A small veranda overlooks them all.
The stale memory sneaks in.

A promised land is there always.
A harvest to be touched firsthand.