Height: 5'3.75"

Current Weight: 110

Highest Weight: 115?

Lowest Weight: 110

Short Term Goal Weight: 108

Long Term Goal Weight: 106

Diagnosis(or what you feel you are): anorexic, probably, but binging and exercising seems tempting a lot lol

Current "Diet": eating as little as I can considering I have very little self control

Calling All Friends

I just started this journal and I'm looking for like-minded individuals for mutual support. I'm 19, female, and I struggle with BED. In the past, I have experienced bulimic and anorexic tendencies. I'm friendly, open, and you can add me, if you wish, and I'll add you back.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

I have been gone a while

UPDATE: I ordered some diet pills today, I can't wait for them to get here.

I've moved from FL to WA and my wife is now in-in the military. She even is done training for her job this week - I think today actually.

I got a great job here in WA at a local Spencers in the mall. I love it tons. The hours are awesome (as they are super minimal so I don't have to go out often but just enough).

I was doing well prior to my wife being out of bootcamp/tech school. And so was my wife actually. We were both so great looking. Then we moved up here- the move has been so stressful. Adjusting. We've been able to eat and I am able to cook (which was/is something I love[d] to do). But now I'm hating myself for it. I cook too much fatty foods. I cook too much crap. And my wife is now here to watch my intake every night and she's back on this habit of insisting she knows how much I'm supposed to eat (which is oh-so annoying) and now my thighs are big sand filled balloon sacks of fat and disgusting crap...

I don't know what happened, when I gave up or gave in or why I did what I did- giving in to food and eating and not caring. I don't know why I stopped working out- we tossed out all the old sauna suits when we moved and now I can't sweat. The weather up here is wonderful but not as good for breaking a sweat. I'm alone and in this house I feel like there's all this food- weed is legal which is both good and bad... I can smoke but I get so hungry and I indulge again and again and again and I think I'm just that much closer to being back at the weight I once was. I can't see my ribs anymore.

I hate myself again. More than before.

Going to buckle down and get back on the train to skinny. I just hope I'm not too late...

Was About To Pass Out

So I had a piece of chao cheese (it's a vegan cheese). I think it's like 90 calories. My system is basically clear. Nothing coming out of the back end and every time I piss it's clear. Lots of water. I ate some lemon from inside of my water. It was sweet and tart and I sprinkled some lime salt over it. It helped me get it down. Hopefully if I can retain a little water weight, and then tomorrow if I don't eat or drink and just work out it'll all just slip off of me. I know on Saturday we are going to eat a lot. And drink probably. So I'm trying to plan for the week ahead thereafter. I'm thinking Monday I'll start another diet. I won't have anything coming up therein except for July 4th which I want to wear short shorts and a bikini top and bottom for - but who knows. I'll probably never fit a bikini. I've been doing this for fucking years. And I still never get further along. I'm so fucking pathetic. I just have to stop eating. I have to stop. I'm so fucking useless. I can't even do that...

New Here...

Height: 5'3 (5'4 on a good day)

Current Weight: 145 (This Morning.)

Highest Weight: 205 (Sick.)

Lowest Weight: 115 (I must have been like, 13 though.)

Short Term Goal Weight: 135 (Before November)

Long Term Goal Weight: 100 (After November)

Diagnosis(or what you feel you are): Ana is my bff.

Current "Diet": Kinda made up my own, 12 days, Mostly fasting, calorie restrictions in the 200-500 range, always burn more calories than you intake- on fasting days burning a minimum of 200 calories is required.


Breakfast: Black Tea w/lemon, lemon water, black coffee (minimum 2 sugars allowed- doesn't count toward calorie unless you want it to.) or water...

Lunch: Nada.

Dinner: If someone is watching (my wife generally is) light fruit cup (natural fruit, nothing canned or with syrup or salt or sugar - generally mango, coconut, papaya, pineapple, grapefruit..) I say that I ate a ton during the day. Otherwise she forces me to eat more.

Snack(if needed): Gum, peppermint (freaking 20 calories per every 3 pieces) or water...
rip bowie


i'm streetlights. i've always had trouble eating. i've had selective eating disorder since i was 6, then developed anorexia nervosa at 15. i'm weight-restored, but am finding it very difficult to eat at the moment.

i've lost 4lbs this week, and am a bit worried that i might reach the point at which i can't eat for aversion to food, but at this point i'm not overly concerned. i could do with losing weight - my restored weight was 44.2kg and i'm 50.2.

i lost 4lbs this week, and hope to keep losing. to avoid becoming too weak - i'm very weak as it is - i plan to go to the gym (i have a membership at a public gym) and practise strength training. i'll have to stick to the resistance machines, as i have epilepsy and i'm afraid to have a seizure and drop free weights on myself. i hope i can still build up strength.
  • Current Music
    depeche mode - stripped


So me and Ana have been friends a while, but I'm new to this... so I'll start with my stats;

Age: 22
Height: 5"6
CW: 99lbs

If anyone is interested in an Ana buddy I'd be more than happy!

flowers, skull

(no subject)

Hi everyone~Active community alert! (well, will be once YOU join!)

I opened big eds in 2009 as a community for bigger girls, however I have recently opened the doors to ALL eating disordered/disordered eating sufferers. We do have open membership with members only posts to protect our members from the outside. We have very few rules besides being kind, so posting is very free and fun!
Please come join me over at big_eds...because eating disorders are big problems.