Andy (mechastriesand) wrote in __soundoff__,

ass paper

So heres a good one for ya? why do ppl seem to think that im the one that can be shat on? I wonder how many conversations have ended with 'och, its only andy'. more than i would like to think i reckon. honestly i dont know why, i try and be as nice to ppl as i truly can, sometimes to the point where i can be annoying, yet somehow, im the first one thats used as makeshift toilet paper.

What exactly is it that im doing wrong? ive given this a lot of thought over the last few hours and i struggle to come up with an answer that satisfies me. The closest one to that is that im not as good a friend/chum/pal as i thought i was, merely the one that tags along and no one has the heart to tell to F off, like the dog u just cant take to the vet. I mean you dont treat the ppl u truly count as friends badly, you may upset them or inadvertantly be ignorant towards them, but you attone for this or show some sort of sincere regret so i must be one crap mate.

I am aware that i sound both petty and callow with all this shite but if i had to sit another minute without releasing some frustration then i may have did something silly.

anyone who knows me from many moons ago will know of my hatred for lying, because of sum1 from my past. There are types of lying i can understand and tolerate, but lying to dig ureself out of shit and in doing so makin sum1 else look like the culprit, THAT I HATE. Lying to hurt others, THAT I HATE and lastly lying for no reason other than youre afraid that the truth might hurt more, THAT I REALLY HATE.

no one has ever seen me get angry, simply beacuse i never have, but i have been angry at times and i bottled it up, too afraid to say what i thought incase i hurt anyone or ppl thot less of me and id like to say that will change, but i know it wont and thats for the best. but this entry has helped a little so i thank you/pity you for sitting thru my incessant whining and hope its just looked on as an outburst that will be forgotten.
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