December 21st, 2005

your point?

X-Men Recap 1

“Mutation,” the unmistakable Patrick Stewart enunciates over a blank screen. “It is the key to our evolution,” he continues as little sparkly things appear and start swimming around. Patrick Stewart blabs about single-celled organisms, mutation, blah blah evolutioncakes, and says it takes “thousands and thousands of years.” Yeah, give or take a few million years. I hope the fairy-dust fiber optics are not meant to represent single-celled organisms. Stewart claims that every so often, evolution “leaps forward.” A quantum leap! The sparklies collide, and the credits roll as we travel down a transparent spinal column into a stringy mess of what I hope is not supposed to represent the very DNA of the X-men themselves.

Mud. Muddiness. People walking in mud. The titles inform us that it’s “POLAND 1944.” Thanks, but I got that from the Nazis and the concentration camp prisoners. Gave it away, you might say. Collapse )
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